"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Long Distance, Don't Want To Ruin It

S

stickboy

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Well, I've gotten myself tied up in a long distant relationship, but I am loving it. She lives the next city over (about 4 hours away)

I will not be seeing again till December... we've never seen each other since we both shared our feelings. Now our conversations are getting pretty hot.... and I have a feeling that we are going to be all over each other when we see each other next... We use to be friends though... so would it be a good idea to lay a lot down... or still take it a bit slow? I really do not want to ruin this.

This is somebody that I love, and could see marrying. It's not just a one night stand or some really hot chick, or else I wouldn't even bother with a long distant relationship.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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OneArmDeeJay

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Ah yes good ol long distance. I remember that time. Time I wished I almost never wasted :rolleyes:

My man,

If you Don't want to screw things up well don't call so much.

And don't talk on the phone, IM, and writing email so much.

Here this is what I learned from my experience in a LTR/LDR.

http://jconserv.net/djltr/viewtopic.php?t=113

Man your situation is almost the exactly the same when I was in a LTR/LDR.

I will tell you this that it's a lot of work and trust put into this kind of relationship. You can't afford being AFC or insecurities.
 
M

MacAvoy

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Great post onearmeddeejay! I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm in the same position you were in.

One piece of advice that I would give to stickboy though is, make sure you stick to the DJ principals. The rules of attraction still apply in LTR's. Make sure you remain mysterious, ****y, etc... and don't fall into a routine.

You still have to act like your the prize, sometimes don't call when your suppose to. Make sure she knows that you still have a life away from her.
 
T

TxCowboy

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Originally posted by stickboy
She lives the next city over (about 4 hours away)
I will not be seeing again till December...
Click to expand...
That is a long a$$ time from now dude ... plus 4 hrs away.... If you can swing it, go for it bud

You may run into some other chick between now and then and vice versa with her
 
C

comic_relief

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I've been in a two and a half hour LDR for the past couple months. Believe me, it is tough but if you can handle it, then you will have a very rewarding expience on your hands.

Mine is very good and I love every minute of it.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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