"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Long distance communication

Pinkerton991

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All,

I'm new to this board, so bare with me if I don't get all of the lingo yet (acronyms and such).

I met this girl through the internet (match to be specific) a couple weeks back. We were exchanging messages for 2-3 weeks before we finally met two weeks ago. The reason it took so long was a combination of holidays, my work schedule (70-80 hour work weeks), and her finals schedule (she's a grad student at a local university). We are both 25.

I saw her one more time at a party she threw to celebrate finishing her finals and so forth. I made it a point to talk to all of her friends, didn't follow her around, etc. I would say that things were going well. She flew home the next day and doesn't fly back until mid-January '10. Home is also literally across the country.

Where I am hoping to get input involves communication between now and when she gets back into town. Basically what I am trying to achieve is a balance of communication where her interest stays high, I don't appear eager, and I don't fall into the friend zone. I am trying to limit e-mail communication because I feel its very impersonal. I normally have a fairly effective system for this situation, but the distance variable basically throws everything off.

Any help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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vitor

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Hmm I would maybe email or text once a week to keep in touch, maybe a merry xmas, or happy new year text and then around a day or two before she is due to come home call and ask her out. Just control yourself dont fall into her call me, email me, text me trap..
 

Pinkerton991

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vitor said:
.....dont fall into her call me, email me, text me trap..
She's actually tried that a couple times already without success. Most recently, she sent me 5 texts this past Saturday night and I didn't respond to any of them, mostly due to a personal rule I have with responding to "potentials" when I have been drinking (i.e. I don't do it).

I guess I'm also trying to balance this so I don't lose her interest. It was sky-high when she left and it would be nice if I could keep it that high through her flight back....
 

vitor

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The more you say without seeing her the less she will want you and you will say/do something that bothers her more than likely. I am not one to lie but make up a few reasons why you are so busy and how much fun you are having, your skiing, going to a bunch of xmas partys, blah blah blah MR excitment, you are not at home watching DVD's looking at porn waiting for her to come home..
 

Pinkerton991

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Yeah that's what I figured. I haven't really talked to her much since she left, short of two or three texts and an e-mail that I sent Saturday, which was basically geared toward sending some pictures of the recent east-coast snowstorm more than checking in.

My inclination was to basically let her contact me up until she comes back but I wasn't 100% sure that was the right move. You confirmed it. Thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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