Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Location seems to be a critical factor rarely acknowleged here

BeTheChange

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For the last two months I’ve experienced a genuine dry patch. Before this period, I’d spent almost six years drifting between gf and plates, often overlapping and so never really experienced true scarcity.

I live in London (population 8 million). Many complain this is a difficult city to game women. I never really paid attention when I was in an LTR but as a single man I was beginning to realise there was a huge amount of truth to this. I’ve spent the last six months dealing with plates, some 7s at best who genuinely believe themselves to be 8s or 9s. Every HB8+ chick I’ve approached in the last two months has rejected me. Tinder and POF deliver scraps and I’m not willing to pay for the added features to even the odds.

I met my HB9 ex gf in 2017. She’d been living in London for less than a month. My previous ex gf (HB8) had only been in London for a month or two when we met also. I doubt these are coincidences. Fast forward to 2019. I have more money, better job, improved dress sense, am just as good looking and have the body of a fitness model. I say this not to brag, but just to highlight that I’m not an average guy and yet if I didn’t know any better London would have me thinking I was a 6.

I came back to my hometown (pop. 500k) as a single man for the first time in years and the contrast was unbelievable. I was getting 10+ matches across Tinder and Bumble a day with ease (and I’m picky). Those are the kind of numbers I do in a month in London. But what really hit home was when I was chatting to a HB9 in a club tonight. Unbelievably hot chick. We vibe over some shared love of dancing and similar work history. A song comes on and she abruptly leaves the conversation to dance with a friend. I shrug my shoulders, assume she's not interested and go back to my mates. Later the chick runs over to me and asks me for my number. She’s coming to London on Monday for the week and wants to meet up.

We could fill a whole thread with the reasons for this difference in mentality between geographies, but I’d say the number one distinction is women in London between 21 and 27 (my target demographic) have practically zero motivation to settle down and so are more than happy to ride the carousel, focus on their careers, friendships, holidays, travelling and their oh so fabulous lives.

That’s when I knew I had to follow my instincts on this one and accept the truth. London is objectively harder than my hometown to secure hot chicks. If I stick with London I have three choices. I could play the hottie lottery and hope to bump into a grounded HB8+ LTR minded chick in London that hasn’t been corrupted by the sheer volume of high quality options available to her (improbable), settle for a HB6 that thinks she’s a HB8 and believes she is the one doing me a favour (no thankyou), or continue to get rejected from the HB8+ who are constantly looking for their best option (not ideal)

Looking to find a woman that would make a good LTR and mother since I want a kid or two, so I’m planning to come back to my hometown more regularly (that Tinder passport feature will come in handy). See family, old friends and start dating here. It also helps that I have business and real estate interests in this city too. Location matters. Something to think about.
 

marmel75

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Maybe you need to realize that what you do to get hot chicks in your hometown doesn't work in London and you need to figure out other methods.

If you realize its different there but continue to try the same methods that don't work then why would you expect different results?
 

zekko

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Location is huge, this has actually been discussed here several times, although usually in the context of the United States, or about going to different countries.

I think women from smaller cities love the guy who comes from the big city though (in your case, London). Makes you seem worldly and exotic. Could be part of your appeal and success.
 

Medina

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I'm also near London but not native to it

I can't vouch for the online dating difference but the reason you're feeling more successful in your hometown is because you are happier there. Seeing old friends, revisiting old places with great memories. London can be a daily drag and that certainly affects your game. When I go back to my home town I have a spring in my step and the girls certainly notice. Feels good to be back.
 

BeTheChange

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I'm also near London but not native to it

I can't vouch for the online dating difference but the reason you're feeling more successful in your hometown is because you are happier there. Seeing old friends, revisiting old places with great memories. London can be a daily drag and that certainly affects your game. When I go back to my home town I have a spring in my step and the girls certainly notice. Feels good to be back.
Don't think this is the case. Pretty happy in London too. Besides that definitely doesn't account for the massive difference in online dating success.

It's supply and demand. Far more ambitious/rich high quality guys in London vs my hometown so I stand out more here. Plus people settle down earlier here so you actually have many peak SMV women actively seeking relationships (practically unheard of in London).

I should have done this a long time ago.
 

BeTheChange

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Same experience with London here, quantity and quality cant be compared with what I get in Edinburgh or Berlin.

As a general rule think where puas culture grew and avoid those cities or countries.
I plan to travel through Europe later this year and next. Where would you suggest are the hotspots vs the places to avoid for women?
 

Who Dares Win

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I plan to travel through Europe later this year and next. Where would you suggest are the hotspots vs the places to avoid for women?
Avoid south Europe in general, less bad is paris that I equal to london in such terms.

Berlin, Hamburg, Edinburgh and Warsaw are a decent bet in my opinion.

Baltic countries are tricky now, they got spoiled from mass male tourism in the last 10 years but unlike Poland their low population couldnt take it.

In my opinion the best places are eastern european countries, second tier cities possibly with low connection with western Europe especially when it comes of low cost companies.

If you can afford the visa and the travel I would say st. Petersburg is a good bet given you can spend there at least few weeks.

If you can afford only few days, try your lack in Oslo or Helsinki but avoid Stockholm.

Thats what works for me.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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This reminds of of a quote by Willie Sutton, a famous bank robber.

Mr. Sutton, why do you rob banks?

Because that's where the money is!
 

Tilex

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Your stories & experiences resembles another member on this board complaining about having a hard time meeting women in NYC.
You're either lacking confidence, not leaving your apartment often enough, or completely missing social cues.

London is a hot spot for meeting women just like NYC.
You should be racking up high numbers in these cities based on the amount of exposure you have to women on a daily basis.
 
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Poonani Maker

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I'm ready to throw in the towel. Too old now. Old fart now. I'm feeling my age now and it sucks, the sluggishness. I'm not even trying anymore and I don't give women a chance and they know it, they can sense the reluctance to interact. I just want to be on my way these days, not interested. Probably come off as Rude, but idc. I just want to rest and read books, eat healthy, work, make money, store away treasures here on Earth (everything the "Bible" says not to do hah).
 

Who Dares Win

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Your stories & experiences resembles another member on this board complaining about having a hard time meeting women in NYC.
You're either lacking confidence, not leaving your apartment often enough, or completely missing social cues.

London is a hot spot for meeting women just like NYC.
You should be racking up high numbers in these cities based on the amount of exposure you have to women on a daily basis.
Can we stop with this "confidence" bullsh1t please?

The guy said he noticed a huge difference in number of matches on tinder...guess girls from london can pick "confidence" from pictures better than girls from the other place.

Aint you guys get tired of repeating those same damn lame lines?

Whats next? "you cant find a decent job in your third world countries not cause of an unbalanced market but cause you lack confidence at your job interview"?

"No need to move to germany, be confident at your next job intervew and you will land a 3000k euros job there in greece"....
 

BeTheChange

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Can we stop with this "confidence" bullsh1t please?

The guy said he noticed a huge difference in number of matches on tinder...guess girls from london can pick "confidence" from pictures better than girls from the other place.

Aint you guys get tired of repeating those same damn lame lines?

Whats next? "you cant find a decent job in your third world countries not cause of an unbalanced market but cause you lack confidence at your job interview"?

"No need to move to germany, be confident at your next job intervew and you will land a 3000k euros job there in greece"....
Some people just lack a basic understanding of economics and human psychology. I don't even bother replying to those posters.
 

Spaz

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Some people just lack a basic understanding of economics and human psychology. I don't even bother replying to those posters.
From the way u r projecting, it almost seems like Londoner's don't fvck or go on dates.

But they do don't they.

Probably more then a million men are fvcking on a given night in London.

It just ain't you.

So it's not London.

It's you.
 

Tilex

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Can we stop with this "confidence" bullsh1t please?

The guy said he noticed a huge difference in number of matches on tinder...guess girls from london can pick "confidence" from pictures better than girls from the other place.

Aint you guys get tired of repeating those same damn lame lines?
If he didn't live in a heavily dense metropolitan city with a booming nightlife and an endless supply of interactions, I wouldn't even mention confidence at all.

In places like NYC & London there's no excuse for having trouble meeting women, because they are literally throwing themselves at you.
Think about what London represents. It's a place where everyone wants to be.
I know you don't see it because you live in England, but as an outsider you have no idea how many women have told me they want to visit or move to London or NYC.

Why do they choose to move there?
Because it's a happening city with remarkable public transportation, a huge nightlife scene, a cultured music scene, a cultured fashion scene, plenty of jobs, and plenty of restaurants galore!
 
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Trump

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If you invented the wheel do you think you’d have a problem in London?

In 2019, quality does not matter to women. They can get quality anywhere. Novelty, excitement, uniqueness, power is what matters.
 

Mr Wright

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I think London and most big cities are great for racking up numbers, so if you're a casual dater player type it's great. If you're looking for something more meaningful, the city will chew you up and spit you back out. I've seen the city change some girls, they come in innocent but after 6 months, they're on the same crap. They don't even have to be banging a load of dudes, it's the date cycle that they fall into. They go on maybe 2 dates a week every week. You have to be genuinely interesting to hold their attention.
 

Murk

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Londoner here, smashed 26 different women last year, I am actually from Essex (jack the lad central (see chad central)) and I have game and banter.

I love London. Step your game up.
 
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