LJBF Recovery

[GTG]

Hey guys,

I've just started working on my game, and I have a lot to learn. But the first steps have been taken.

I took this girl out recently, a classmate, and we had a good time, I was teasing her etc, and things went well. Thing is, I'm just learning my game, and it was weak. I was too "open" and "honest", and she ended up feeling pressured out by me, that I came on too strong, as well as inexperienced.

So I got a reluctantly given LJBF. I think it is both because of her hesitancy of us being classmates, her past, and me coming on too strong. All my fault, if I had done my job better it wouldn't have been a problem.

So I've been backing off from her, not initiating contact, and she has been coming up to me in class, and messaging me on friday before lectures to hang out. In short, I've been trying to portray a more confident, strong, busy persona, while not losing the brownie points I got through being so honest, and sensitive, previously. Showing that us hooking up is not such a dramatic deal.

So keep the "benefits" of my previous approach, while not being submissive to her, letting her come to me.

So where do I go to from here? I've started researching more on the dating game, and I've crushed my emotional pull for her. Now I'm more motivated to succeed out of me wanting to, than me needing to.

Should I wait for her to give me a signal? Should I try escalating it slowly when we are in person, non verbally? Ask her out again in some time?

I'm also going for other girls. This is just one whom I find is quite cool, and I want to fix the damage I did.

 

[dvjackson]

Keep on doing what you're doing. Don't escalate things or ask her out again. because of your previous openness she understands that you're into her and might become guarded if she detects attempts to re-approach her. If you spark interest in her she won't be shy about showing it as she knows there's probably no chance of you rejecting her.

 

[VladPatton]

Keep on doing what you're doing. Don't escalate things or ask her out again. because of your previous openness she understands that you're into her and might become guarded if she detects attempts to re-approach her. If you spark interest in her she won't be shy about showing it as she knows there's probably no chance of you rejecting her.

↑ ↑ Agreed.

 

[GTG]

Thanks guys.

Yeah, I'm still doing what I'm doing, avoiding her unless we pass each other in hallways at which point we greet and chat lightly, but still not going to her first, nor messaging her. She is always approaching me in class now.

It's frustrating though. I want to not have to do this. I got into her because she is a really cool chick, and I know I can't become good friends with her while I have ulterior motives.

Still.

Wish I could just become close, but that's life.

She isn't going anywhere though, and I suppose time is on my side.

It's my 21st late next month, and she can't make it, being out of town. I was thinking of inviting her round to my house for a jam session ( she sings and wants to learn guitar), not just the two of us, some musician mates as well, and seeing how things are. I can play some decent blues/soul/jazz guitar, and it could be a cool way to establish some power and get in some physical contact.

After that though, I'll go back to being passive, letting her come to me.

Horrible idea? Average?

In short, how long do I distance myself from her?

Thoughts?

(My gut is telling me it's too soon to be having thoughts of inviting her out, and she can still get to know me by her putting in the effort, if I don't act a complete jackass, which I am not. So it's just me crushing on her, and I need to reevalute closer to the time)

 

[eternal1011]

Girl got pissed when I asked her about her ljbf

A girl I met one night and cuddled with ( moderate comforting & attraction , and couldnt close as her friend was also sleeping on the same bed ) put me in the friendzone. She said , "no date. im not coming for dinner or movie night. Only friends...sure why not " (when i asked her out again)
to which i replied "What kind of friends did you have in mind? Cuddle buddies? Or do you need someone to hold your purse?" ( this was suggested by Naughty Ninja)

and she replied with "What the heck? Just let it be..Forget about it..No friends. "

I think i pretty much screwed it up. Should I have said something else ? What can i possible reply her back now ? I think she took it the wrong way. I was just trying to be witty

 

[eternal1011]

Girl got pissed when I asked her about her ljbf

A girl I met one night and cuddled with ( moderate comforting & attraction , and couldnt close as her friend was also sleeping on the same bed ) put me in the friendzone. She said , "no date. im not coming for dinner or movie night. Only friends...sure why not " (when i asked her out again)
to which i replied "What kind of friends did you have in mind? Cuddle buddies? Or do you need someone to hold your purse?" ( this was suggested by Naughty Ninja)

and she replied with "What the heck? Just let it be..Forget about it..No friends. "

I think i pretty much screwed it up. Should I have said something else ? What can i possible reply her back now ? I think she took it the wrong way. I was just trying to be witty

 

[LongLostFriend]

You have Oneitis for a chick who LJBFed you.

Let that sink in.

Now find someone else to date.