Living with a woman / proposing

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by GynecologyEnthusiast
Is this the part where VBG jumps in with boring tales of mindbengingly dull domesticity with her AFC boyfriend?

Bwahahahahah LOLOLOL I just nearly fell out of my office chair laughing.....

On a side note, i will say this. Its alot more risk, financially involved, to marry a girl than it is to live with one, especially if she is kicking in some rent $$$. Some people stated with her living there, you won't be able to get any other tail. Well, are't you in a LTR with this girl right? Well, I assume you aren't cheating, so is living togeother such a bad thing? After all, make sure its your name on the lease. that way, by law, you only have to give her 30 days to move out if for any reason you need to next her.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by Bungo Pony


When a couple is married, the bond is held tighter together by law and is much more of a pain in the ass to get out of. I'm not saying marriage is better, but the chances of it failing go down a bit.

.

Aw man, if your relying on the law to keep your marriage together, your in for a real treat. If anything, considering you make more money and are better off financially than your girlfriend, which is the case in most relationships, I would say that staying unmarried would give you all the power. By signing the contract, you have lost all the power and leverage you previously had. To you psych majors, she has you by the balls.

 

[GynecologyEnthusiast]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Some people stated with her living there, you won't be able to get any other tail. Well, are't you in a LTR with this girl right? Well, I assume you aren't cheating, so is living togeother such a bad thing?

You missing the point, blu.

It's not that you are actually cheating. It's that you have the power to go with other girls. You are free. This is your leverage.

When you live with a woman, you lock yourself in a prison of your own invention. She now has all the leverage. Only a fool squanders his power like this.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Aw man, if your relying on the law to keep your marriage together, your in for a real treat.

I'm not relying on it at all, it just makes the commitment harder to break. If seat belts are going to reduce the chance of me dying in a car accident, I'm going to wear one.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

Blah, blah, blah my boyfriend. Blah, blah, blah.

BP, I really don't think you need our help for this one. It seems like you already know what you want.

I guess this thread really does show how much I am not wanted here, which is good to know.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I guess this thread really does show how much I am not wanted here, which is good to know.

No offense VBG. Just figured you belonged in this thread

 

[VeryBadGirl]

Not much offense taken.

BP, I don't think you should move in with this girl. You don't want to and you have had bad experiences. There is no "one size fits all" formula for relationships. What works for some may not work for others.

I also don't think you should get engaged to this girl right now. Frankly, I don't think you have been dating her long enough.

As far as her asking you, that is personal preference. The problem is, what if she asks you soon? What will you do? Have you decided?

That is all just my opinion, though, which pretty much doesn't mean squat to most people.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I also don't think you should get engaged to this girl right now. Frankly, I don't think you have been dating her long enough.

I agree with you on this point. I just see her as potential right now.

As far as her asking you, that is personal preference. The problem is, what if she asks you soon? What will you do? Have you decided?

This is an excellent question, and I've been thinking about that quite a bit today alone. I liked hearing others' opinions on her asking, but the thing is I've been the one controlling the speed of this relationship all along, and I'm quite happy with the pace it's been going. Her proposing would throw it a bit off balance. She knows that I am looking for a very long term commitment, but I'm not going to jump right in it.

If she asks in the very near future, she's the one putting her feelings at risk. If I'm not completely ready for it, I'm going to turn her down and tell her I'm not completely ready for it. If she wants to know when I'll be ready, I'll tell her that I'll start seriously thinking about it after being with her for a year.

She's told me about her "5 year plan". If she's not married to a guy within 5 years of dating him, she'll move on. I don't have a problem with her plan, and I actually think it's a very good plan to have.

I may have a discussion with her to prevent her from bringing emotional torment onto herself.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by GynecologyEnthusiast
You missing the point, blu.

It's not that you are actually cheating. It's that you have the power to go with other girls. You are free. This is your leverage.

When you live with a woman, you lock yourself in a prison of your own invention. She now has all the leverage. Only a fool squanders his power like this.

True True....I hear ya. At 25, he shouldn't be living with any girl, nonetheless this one. I hear were ya coming from. I think though, he really doesn't have THAT MUCH to lose, AS LONG AS HIS NAME IS ON THE LEASE AND HERS IS NOT. I agree he probably, at his age, shouldn't do it, but this is hardly taking the plunge. Just make sure that its your name on the lease, and for whatever reason, you need to next her, you can have her out by 30 days, by law.

LOL No offense VBG whatsoever. Just boys being boys......