"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Literally no time for each other

Effington

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I'll try to keep this short, I finally made a move on a girl this weekend that I'd had a thing for, and am very glad at the results. We've been very good friends for years (she moved away for a time, but recently returned) and in that time I grew a pair while managing to stay out of the "friend zone". I'm actually really into her and I am pretty sure it's mutual.

The problem is, I work full-time 9-5 with grad school 4 days a week 6pm-9pm, and she just got a job working 7 days a week, she also lives 90 miles away. Literally, she has two days off until January 1st: Christmas with her family, and New Year's eve, with me. For a new thing to actually progress, that is not very much time together. I call her after class a couple times per week, but she gets up for work at 4am, and besides, at that point it's 10pm, I haven't ate dinner or attempted to study.

Think it's worth it? The night school for me will be a long-term thing, I will be in school for at least 2-3 years more, and I know once she pays off a note she had for school, she will re-enroll to finish her degree, so I don't see the time factor getting better very soon.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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joekerr31

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you can't have a relationship with a woman who you can't even find the time to go to a movie with.

sounds like things just weren't meant to be right now - as hard as that is to hear.

best thing to do might be to put her in the friend zone. tell her that you'd like to be friends and to pursue something more if your lives ever allow for it.

i mean, theres no point fooling yourselves that you are something more when you haven't been dating and you only see each other once a month or something.
 

aliasguy

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PlasticSurgeon is a surgical resident. He's got EXCEEDINGLY limited time. And HE seems to be able to generate some smoke.

Get her over at your place after you two are "finished" with whatever you have to do. (I don't think that, even in grad school, that you have to work on stuff EVERY evening.) Work out some time. There is always enough time for you to do what's important to you.

Do it or don't. (Do HER or don't.)

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STR8UP

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I feel ya man. It sucks to be always either busy or tired. Add a crazy schedule on the other side and it's tough to get to know someone.

But 90 miles away? That's an LDR.

Chick I am seeing lives about 30 miles away and that's far.

Like Joe said....if you can't find time you can't have a relationship.
 

Mr.Positive

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If you are seeing her on New Years Eve, give her a New Years to remember!!

I say go for it, you only live once. Don't get emotionally attached, but you will regret down the road thinking "if only I had the time..."

Life's short, tap that @ss. Even if it's only once a month, that one night a month would be worth it, IMO.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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