Lifespan of a modern relationship

Foe

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2021
Messages
179
Reaction score
170
Age
45
So little history, dated a crazy 10 for 3 years which almost broke me. Got out of it and found a really nice 7 which I've been seeing exclusively for 7 months. Ive naturally had frame and been pumping the breaks on any escalation of relationship terms other then exclusivity which I dont really see as a loss given the dating scene is just a pain in the ass.

This girl is poor, no career, no income and no ambition. Shes made it pretty clear shes looking for a guy to fund her life which to her credit is pretty minimum. That being said shes wanting to move in and integrate fully at some point, shes been quite clear on this. I basically got drunk and put her firmly in her place with statements like Im not your sugar daddy and not interested in moving in together and sharing (my) finances.

She's rocked, pulling away and to be honest I might have to let this fish go. Not overly fussed but its strange to think that this might just be the timeline on a modern relationship, unless of coarse you are willing to risk your assets with someone.

Im not, as I explained to her, if she wants to sit at the table she has to buy in with at least some % of my capital.

Am I wrong here?
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,388
Reaction score
7,883
This case has more to do with "not the right girl for you" than it does "lifespan of a modern relationship".

Lack of ambition in someone will always be an issue. It creeps into so many areas of life(attitude, looks, weight, self-care, how they treat others). You don't want someone like that. They become a huge liability, where you aren't getting much in return. Thats my definition of a poor investment.

There are some women that aren't financially ambitious but they will be big supporters of you. I'd call them ambitious about their man. IF she is that, then thats a good thing. I don't get that vibe tho. She needs to have ambition towards something in life.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,608
Reaction score
10,713
Am I wrong here?
You weren't wrong to end things with her.

This case has more to do with "not the right girl for you" than it does "lifespan of a modern relationship".
I agree with this.

I believe relationships have a shelf life of goodness regardless of how long they last. It's the idea that I am most well known for promoting on this forum. This situation is a bit unrelated to that.

its strange to think that this might just be the timeline on a modern relationship, unless of coarse you are willing to risk your assets with someone.
You have an idea here that has merit.

Many women won't want to continue in a relationship unless it is going somewhere. There are women who will exit a relationship at a certain point if you don't offer to live with her, if you don't propose marriage to her, or if she discovers that you're not interested in having babies with her (or at all).

Many women are seeking to achieve certain milestones in their longer term relationships.

Few women will stay in a relationship more than a few years without at least living together. Most women won't be content to keep living apart from you and keep dating for the foreseeable future, especially when they are under age 40.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,291
Reaction score
4,072
Any issue you have will become bigger and bigger once you live together. That's why a lotta men ( including yours truly) made the FATAL mistake of not vetting probably, or I'd say; vetting with the D1ck instead of the brains (and the freaking WALLET!)

You don't wanna share your finances and that rocked her? Now ,I know that women won't ever be rational and say" I get that ,lets find a solution that the both of us can agree with ". Won't just magically happen.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,057
Reaction score
6,014
Location
PRC
I dunno when they’re hot and I mean they really turn your crank too, and easygoing it can last a long time even if there is no chance you’ll settle with her. I got shyte to do, ya know?
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
1,103
Age
80
Location
Australia
Hi Foe,
"Am I wrong here?"No way,this Lady sounds purely Plate material.....You are 44,coming into an age where you have your own place,know how to fry an egg,open a can of beans,maybe even on first name terms with the vacuum cleaner.... Why do you want a Woman coming in and disturbing your peaceful life?
 
Last edited:

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
1,103
Age
80
Location
Australia
Hi SW15,
"Few women will stay in a relationship more than a few years without at least living together. Most women won't be content to keep living apart from you and keep dating for the foreseeable future, especially when they are under age 40."......You have chosen your words carefully,to that extent I agree with you,but there are Women around who for various reasons will be quite happy with an LTR that drifts for years,when you get to 40 that number expands exponentially....I have had one simmering for 18 years....take a squizz at Woody Allan he is "Married,living apart"seems happy enough!
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
13,701
Reaction score
14,575
Why would you even want that?

Sounds like a woman that gives nothing but takes everything.

Do better OP.

Start having higher standards than just a pretty face for women you interact with and date. They should bring as much or more to the table as you do.

Trying to press the easy button never works out well in the long run.
 
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
5,127
Reaction score
4,306
Few women will stay in a relationship more than a few years without at least living together.
The happy few.

Most women won't be content to keep living apart from you and keep dating for the foreseeable future, especially when they are under age 40.
I do overnighters, but none of my lovers lives with me. The oldest of them is 38, she's been 'with me' for three years. The one who has been with me the longest (six years now) was twenty-four when we met. No committed relationship and they can leave whenever they want. But I guess that's a rarity where you're from.
 

Chow Mein

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
77
Reaction score
39
I was similar shoes as you @Foe
Once the vanity fades, you start seeing the bigger picture. Ambition for is necessary in my partner, all the great times you’ve had was merely a facade and you start questioning (possibly compromising) if they can be worth being exclusive with.

Great times come to an end if the other person is not what you seek long term. It’s best to part ways and let each other live on with their lives.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
13,701
Reaction score
14,575
So little history, dated a crazy 10 for 3 years which almost broke me. Got out of it and found a really nice 7 which I've been seeing exclusively for 7 months. Ive naturally had frame and been pumping the breaks on any escalation of relationship terms other then exclusivity which I dont really see as a loss given the dating scene is just a pain in the ass.

This girl is poor, no career, no income and no ambition. Shes made it pretty clear shes looking for a guy to fund her life which to her credit is pretty minimum. That being said shes wanting to move in and integrate fully at some point, shes been quite clear on this. I basically got drunk and put her firmly in her place with statements like Im not your sugar daddy and not interested in moving in together and sharing (my) finances.

She's rocked, pulling away and to be honest I might have to let this fish go. Not overly fussed but its strange to think that this might just be the timeline on a modern relationship, unless of coarse you are willing to risk your assets with someone.

Im not, as I explained to her, if she wants to sit at the table she has to buy in with at least some % of my capital.

Am I wrong here?
She saw a simp, was quite sure of it by the way you acted during the 7 months and now after you did that realized she might have been wrong.

Women like that choose their victims. Something about you made her think you were one of the types of guys that would go for that.

I would suggest you figure out what that is because this will continue popping up if you don't.

Hence, your opening sentence "dated a crazy 10 for 3 years that almost broke me."

These type of soul sucking, life force draining women see you as a target and their mark.

And that is a major, major issue whether you realize it or not. You've now gone from one type of women that targets victims to another that targets a different set. What's worse is they likely look for two separate profiles and you fit both of them.
 

Chow Mein

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
77
Reaction score
39
She saw a simp, was quite sure of it by the way you acted during the 7 months and now after you did that realized she might have been wrong.

Women like that choose their victims. Something about you made her think you were one of the types of guys that would go for that.

I would suggest you figure out what that is because this will continue popping up if you don't.

Hence, your opening sentence "dated a crazy 10 for 3 years that almost broke me."

These type of soul sucking, life force draining women see you as a target and their mark.

And that is a major, major issue whether you realize it or not. You've now gone from one type of women that targets victims to another that targets a different set. What's worse is they likely look for two separate profiles and you fit both of them.
In my case, she was BPD. It was my first experience and she was hot so I gave it a shot.
I knew the game that I would be participating in. It was fun while it lasted, you can never be in a serious relationship with one. Last time she came back with MULTIPLE Google voice numbers sending me all sorts of cryptic messages of why I am stalking and harassing her and her friends. Knew exactly who was texting me that from the get-go.

I blocked all contact until she finally had the ovaries to leave a voicemail on a new number identifying herself. Called back - Google voicemail. Ok, let’s do one last tango, see how far you can go. She tapped out and blocked me. Maybe she will be back, maybe not. No sweat off my balls
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
1,423
Reaction score
549
Age
35
For me:

The life span of any relationship (Be it with some broad I'm boning, or anyone else more generally)is as long as I find it both enjoyable and beneficial. Fate is entirely too fickle to p-ss one's time away* on anyone who's mostly a f-cking nightmare to be around





*Caveat: I'm also no less human than the next man, and occasionally DO hang around folks who are life-draining rather than life-enriching
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
13,701
Reaction score
14,575
In my case, she was BPD. It was my first experience and she was hot so I gave it a shot.
I knew the game that I would be participating in. It was fun while it lasted, you can never be in a serious relationship with one. Last time she came back with MULTIPLE Google voice numbers sending me all sorts of cryptic messages of why I am stalking and harassing her and her friends. Knew exactly who was texting me that from the get-go.

I blocked all contact until she finally had the ovaries to leave a voicemail on a new number identifying herself. Called back - Google voicemail. Ok, let’s do one last tango, see how far you can go. She tapped out and blocked me. Maybe she will be back, maybe not. No sweat off my balls
Yeah because a man with options will definitely want those type of women in their life.

Again...you'd do well to read what I wrote several times. Less chest puffing and more comprehending. You are in for a world of hurt eventually if you continue down that path with women seeing you as a mark they should target.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
10,825
Reaction score
4,477
I'd like it for some young woman to have me support her - but young women are always blowing me off. :mad:
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
4,359
I'd like it for some young woman to have me support her - but young women are always blowing me off. :mad:
How rich are you? If you're an old dude living in the Went and want a young AND attractive gold digger, you better not be some white collar office type with a low six-figure salary.
 

parabellum

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
106
Reaction score
101
Location
Ice coast
So little history, dated a crazy 10 for 3 years which almost broke me. Got out of it and found a really nice 7 which I've been seeing exclusively for 7 months. Ive naturally had frame and been pumping the breaks on any escalation of relationship terms other then exclusivity which I dont really see as a loss given the dating scene is just a pain in the ass.

This girl is poor, no career, no income and no ambition. Shes made it pretty clear shes looking for a guy to fund her life which to her credit is pretty minimum. That being said shes wanting to move in and integrate fully at some point, shes been quite clear on this. I basically got drunk and put her firmly in her place with statements like Im not your sugar daddy and not interested in moving in together and sharing (my) finances.

She's rocked, pulling away and to be honest I might have to let this fish go. Not overly fussed but its strange to think that this might just be the timeline on a modern relationship, unless of coarse you are willing to risk your assets with someone.

Im not, as I explained to her, if she wants to sit at the table she has to buy in with at least some % of my capital.

Am I wrong here?
How old is this woman?
 
Top