"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Life is better for those who don't care.

jhonny9546

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Life is better for those who don't care.

How is it possible to learn not to care about superfluous things, according to our values, or is it a personality disorder we're born with, not learned?

Furthermore, there are some who will pretend not to care, but in reality they behave that way because they've planned everything, to see your reaction, and depending on your reaction, they will either rejoice or not. So these are the fakes, who don't care about you or that thing, but who can't help but think about it. So, if anything, we'll think about it more than others.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jhonny9546

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It doesn't apply to "genuinely curious" people like me.
 

BaronOfHair

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Life is better for those who don't care.

How is it possible to learn not to care about superfluous things, according to our values, or is it a personality disorder we're born with, not learned?
A couple of ways:

-Recognize that "caring" alone is worth fu-king nothing. One example: Two centuries, going on THREE centuries of efforts by "caring" people
have generated immeasurable misery, on a global scale. Caring, empathy, and compassion DO NOT inherently translate into moral behavior

-Become cognizant of the fact that much(if not most)emotional agony among humans originates from our being melded to our own desires, and never recognizing that said desires are really just personal PREFERENCES... The Almigty is under no obligation to make life shake out exactly the way we want it to, no matter how fervid our desires might be
 
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zekko

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Recognize that "caring" alone is worth fu-king nothing.
Action is better than caring.
I think this thread is a bit "the grass is always greener" though.
Do you really think sociopaths have a better life? If you could press a button, would you make yourself a sociopath? I wouldn't.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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BaronOfHair

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Do you really think sociopaths have a better life?
In SOME respects sure, same way Taylor Swift's had a "better life" financially than most people on this planet could ever dream of. Goes without saying, sociopathy and being Taylor Swift have their drawbacks also...

Once your reputation for glibbness and superficial charm gets around, fewer and fewer reputable folk have any desire to associate with you: Google Al Dunlop. Similar to the way Swift's days as the toast of the recording industry are likely winding down, now that LARPING as a high school girl is getting more and more laughable: Even SHE seems cognizant of this

While she's had an impressive run careerwise, this doesn't change the fact that TS still likely has decades worth of life left, and is really going to have some sh-t to grapple with, once her star has ceased to shine, despite having been red-hot since her late teens


To OP's point though: Detaching from our own desires, taking a Que Sera Sera approach to life("Yes, I'd prefer for X to happen... The cosmos won't implode if X DOESN'T go exactly as I'd prefer either")is highly achievable. It's also not something that comes naturally to most though, and thus requires practice
 
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