letting her ask you out

[pyros]

From your pesonal experience, when does a girl usually start asking you out instead of you always initiating the dates?

after 2,3,...5 dates? never?

I've been on three dates with this chick and it would be nice if she asked me out for once. lol.

 

[marmel75]

welcome to the responsibilities of being a man, lol...

I suppose some might do that, but most of the time women are going to let you make the plans because you are being judged on what you come up with and how you do it. She can't judge you if she does the work, right?

 

[pyros]

yes but I get bored if it is always me the one to initiate texts and dates, because it makes you look like you're the only one interested.
Some of the girls I met asked me to hang out after we went on a few dates (3,4...) and everything was going fine, however I met a few that did not initiate it ever and we stopped hanging out sooner than with the ones that planned dates and suggested dates ideas.

In my opinion, if they're not suggesting dates etc after a you've made out a few times etc, they're very little interested, if any.

I wanted to know your experiences guys in this matter.

 

[TheCWord]

In my opinion, if they're not suggesting dates etc after a you've made out a few times etc, they're very little interested, if any.

You nailed it.

I have lots of experience with this. I've asked questions on this forum about this a lot in the past. There is certainly a school of thought that says it's the man's job to initiate and as long as she's saying yes to your dates and banging you, what are you complaining about?

To me, it's all about getting the relationship you want. It is my preference, as it appears to be yours, pyros, that after 3-5 dates I like to see the girl making a bit of effort. If it's a situation where we'll never see each other unless I suggest something, then I know it's low interest.

pyros, these can be the most confusing of situations - especially if you are still gaining experience and building confidence. They're always responding enthusiastically to your dates, you guys have a blast when together, but she's a ghost otherwise. Don't let all those positives overshadow that nagging negative: you are not getting the level of participation you want. Whether it's low interest (most likely) or just some type of personality who doesn't believe a woman should ever initiate plans (highly unlikely), either way this girl is not a good match for you. She's not what you're looking for - you want a girl who's so crazy about you that she's going to try to make plans with you.

Don't text/call her. The next date between you two only happens if she proposes it. If she texts you but still doesn't suggest plans, just run your normal text game (as in, take your time and don't turn it into a conversation. 1-2 replies max). She doesn't get to see you unless she initiates. And if she doesn't, low interest is confirmed and you can officially disqualify her.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

For me, it tends to happen very early on. The reason? During the first date when they inevitably ask me what kind of woman I'm looking to date, I mention that even though I'm the man and would be asking her out on most dates, I like a woman who can plan something out every once in a while for us to do. The way I phrase it is: "I'm great at planning stuff, but I don't know everything, and figure the other person has some ideas of date things to do that I wouldn't even have thought of." It's my way of letting them know they need to plan a date every so often. Beyond that, usually after physical contact of some kind has been made (kisssing, sex, or something in between), they should have enough tinglies to want to plan stuff, a house date at the very least (if they're trying to get physical). I'd say if she hasn't planned something by the 10th date you would need to bring it up.

 

[TheCWord]

The way I phrase it is: "I'm great at planning stuff, but I don't know everything, and figure the other person has some ideas of date things to do that I wouldn't even have thought of."

Hey Harry. Funny, I kind of say something similar. (Although I can't say I've ever been specifically asked what kind of girl I want to date).

I tell them, "I am always open for doing stuff. I like going out, I like having fun, but I also get busy or caught up in my work or other things and sometimes don't think to make those plans. That's why I like a girl who can come up with ideas for what to do, maybe even a girl more social than me, because left to my own devices I might not get out as much as I'd like to."

 

[JaegerPilot217]

For me, it tends to happen very early on. The reason? During the first date when they inevitably ask me what kind of woman I'm looking to date, I mention that even though I'm the man and would be asking her out on most dates, I like a woman who can plan something out every once in a while for us to do. The way I phrase it is: "I'm great at planning stuff, but I don't know everything, and figure the other person has some ideas of date things to do that I wouldn't even have thought of." It's my way of letting them know they need to plan a date every so often. Beyond that, usually after physical contact of some kind has been made (kisssing, sex, or something in between), they should have enough tinglies to want to plan stuff, a house date at the very least (if they're trying to get physical). I'd say if she hasn't planned something by the 10th date you would need to bring it up.

Ya I would definetly get frustrated and tired having to lead and initiate literally every step of the way because I want a partner not a poodle