Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Lessons from Older DJs here!

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,756
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
Dear older brothers of SS,

What are some of the most important lessons you have learnt in your lives? Not just seduction/love/spinning plates-wise, but EVERYTHING-wise.

Please share them with us younger men so we can learn from you.

Very much appreciated!
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,183
Reaction score
3,850
I can provide a few examples.

The first isn't a personal lesson learned, but a very important message for newbies and the inexperienced: Do not believe everything that you read on this forum. I'm convinced that over half the forum members do not speak from personal experience. Instead, they recycle things that they've either read in some pick up book or heard on some youtube channel. Sometimes, these other sources are correct. Other times, they aren't even close. There could always be other variables at play (a woman's mood, her past, her upbringing, and of course, the impression we make upon them, etc..) In other words, it's better to think (based on your own experiences and observations) ... than to believe a bunch of group think.

----- Personal Mistakes that I've made------
Most of the below mistakes I made were decades ago (I'm one of the older forum members). It's my hope that by sharing my past blunders, that it may prevent some of you from making my previous mistakes. No matter our age, we will still make some mistakes. Our goal should be to learn and improve from each one. The fewer with each passing year, the better.

Asking a woman for advice about a female interest is always helpful and good. I was wrong.

Trust your gut and/or ask advice from someone you know that is successful with women. After observing female behavior, I leaned that their actions quite often will contradiction their words. Verdict: ."Actions speak louder than words." Always remember this-especially with women.

She can't help they way she is, give her plenty of concessions. I was wrong.

While I do believe that we should provide a little wiggle-room to men and women and try to practice some compassion and understanding, we shouldn't make excuses for patterns of bad female behavior. Usually, the truth is... we don't want to let go and making excuses for their bad behavior, helps to 'justify' our weakness (I've been there).

If things aren't going as good as they once were, change who you are and accommodate her needs. I was wrong.

Men are biologically wired to 'fix things.' Modifying and calibrating aren't always bad things, but be sure that you aren't compromising your individuality. Although women might say that they'd prefer it if we were more ____ (insert something they've read in some women's magazine etc...) they really do not know what they always want. Remember this! If you change the core of who you really are... you are also removing the very attributes that attracted her to you in the first place. Despite a lot of group-think on this forum, higher quality women gravitate more to the individual than to the conformist.
 
Last edited:

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,596
Reaction score
3,973
Never go back to an ex. It like going though your own trash.

Avoid older women/single moms.

Find a girl that A) Passes the boner test and B)Is more into sex than you. No time for fights or tests when both of you are having sex pretty much all the time.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
Women don’t make good friends, no matter what anyone tells you. Don’t fall for it. Women friends will use and manipulate you and they will never stick around longer than a year or couple years at the most.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,118
Reaction score
2,559
Location
California
Women don’t make good friends, no matter what anyone tells you. Don’t fall for it. Women friends will use and manipulate you and they will never stick around longer than a year or couple years at the most.
Disagree. I have a lot of female friends. A number are ex-‘s. A couple I would absolutely trust with my life.
 

Toddz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2017
Messages
255
Reaction score
356
Workout, eat healthy, and take care of yourself not just physically, but mentally.

Money is important, but shouldn't be your only focus in life meaning have hobbies and do things you enjoy.

As far as women, don't tolerate any bs or bad behavior and maintain self respect at all times. If at any moment a woman brings you stress or becomes difficult, you next her without hesitation.
 

oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2002
Messages
1,084
Reaction score
276
Age
38
Milk the things about yourself that make you feel extremely confident about yourself. There's always that "do looks matter" debate here. My opinion is that, if you look good, they matter. But if you're ugly, they don't matter. Kind of like height. If you have it, it matters. But if you don't (which I am extremely lacking in myself), then it doesn't matter.
 

typical

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
241
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
Find YOUR purpose in YOUR life and chase after it like a Psycho .................. sounds like generic filler crap right ?!

Well it actually makes sense BUT as a man you can apply this at any stage in your life as you don't have a biological clock counting down to your impending doom (apart from death but that's another story).

You need to drop everything you were taught by everyone and explore everything you can and test your boundaries and limits (Within reason obviously). Once you find this purpose you have to dedicate all your efforts in being able to chase this purpose or goal down, be it a sport or education or business or travel or artistic flair. Everything else will fall into its place. The process of chasing this purpose down will hone and sharpen your natural masculine traits and force you to act upon everything in a confident and successful manner, whilst simultaneously see any setbacks as a learning experience and keep moving forward.

In short once you find your purpose the process of creating/attaining that purpose will create the man you seek to be and you will be successful no matter what.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,756
Reaction score
2,246
Age
34
I am turning 32 this year, FYI. Sorry I forgot to mention my age at the beginning. 32 is not actually "young" young, but to be honest I am fully aware of my ignorance in loads of aspects in life, especially in personal growth and making money. Hence this thread. Please keep it going brother. :)
 

Chuck Taylor

Banned
Joined
Mar 26, 2022
Messages
304
Reaction score
362
Save 20% of each paycheck. Volunteer once a month - helping people in need is incredibly rewarding.

Finally, don't turn into a professional advice-seeker. Do what you want to do; no need to seek opinions from 25 other people before you act. If you want to do it, do it.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,557
Reaction score
5,472
Location
PRC
1. Always surround yourself with people that make you a better man. People that will support you always, even the odds are bad.
2. Find mentors.
3. If you’re relationship minded find a woman whose sex drive is equal to or greater than yours, as it will diminish over time.
4. Find a woman who is close to your intelligence level - that way you won’t have to explain yourself repeatedly- no matter how hot, sweet and good in the sack.
5.Put every penny you can spare in a 401 and invest in a “safe” fund.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
Disagree. I have a lot of female friends. A number are ex-‘s. A couple I would absolutely trust with my life.
In my 38 years I can honestly say that I only had ONE true friend that was a girl, and that’s when I was 15. Yeah she friendzoned me but she never used me, never manipulated me, anything like that. She was legit cool. I just get along better with dudes when it comes to friendship. I have tons of guy friends and my two closed friends I’ve known for 24 and 30 years.
 

Jor-El

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
321
Reaction score
379
Location
UK
I fully back saving a bit of money each month.If you spend every penny you earn every month,you are insane.You will never get ahead money wise,ever. As long as you are not saving every single penny to the point where you dont do or spend anything,ever,then a bit of saving each month,there are no downsides at all,none
 

spred

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2017
Messages
197
Reaction score
149
Age
46
- people who like you genuinely (Both profesional life, friends, women highly interested) will deal with you honestly and straight away, no games
- your gut will ALWAYS tell you what is the real deal, even if your brain and heart tell you the opposite
- be respectful and treat all people the same, this will earn you the respect of people who don't like you or are neutral
- you will meet older people who want to help you professionally or personally, try to make friends and learn from them
- interested women will put themselves in your orbit, approach you for silly reasons. Make a date or get the number immediately
- best way to meet quality women, trusty business partners or generally good people is through the social circle. Build networks or get into them
- don’t let people tell you you cannot do something or you should follow a certain algorithm. Make your own way and learn
- you get in life what you negotiate.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,495
Reaction score
2,627
Dear older brothers of SS,

What are some of the most important lessons you have learnt in your lives? Not just seduction/love/spinning plates-wise, but EVERYTHING-wise.

Please share them with us younger men so we can learn from you.

Very much appreciated!
With age, and hopefully wisdom, comes the realization that anything you lose you weren't supposed to have, and anyone you've lost wasn't supposed to be around.

Lastly, as far as relationships (be them platonic or romantic), the less mental energy you possess to convince someone to be in your life. Either they see value in being in each other's life or there is the door, have a beautiful life.


Modern Man Advice
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
Women

- No matter how awkward or dramatic you think the fallout will be from a decision, it never is. This too shall pass. I stayed in relationships too long for fear of post-breakup drama. Also chickened out on making moves with girls when I thought rejection would make me look stupid or creepy. It just doesn't mean much at all in the long run.

- Things like IOIs and IL only tell us so much. Just go for it and get rejected. Sometimes girls are interested but too awkward to show it. Sometimes girls seem really interested but are not. Only way to tell is isolate and kiss.

- Females can bring value besides sex if you're willing to receive it. If they perceive you as high value but are unavailable, they will help a brother out socially in other ways if they are cool. All in how you frame yourself.

- Administering controls and restrictions in any relationship is counter-productive. If she's hot for you she'll do this for herself voluntarily.

Life

- Be true to yourself. Too many people get sidetracked by the expectations of others. We all need to earn a living and feed ourselves, but if your living is not your primary mission, use it to fund that mission.

- If you drink/do drugs, wean yourself from the compulsion to party constantly. It's a lot of money spent and a lot of headaches and wasted nights. Nothing wrong with this from time to time but when I was young I overdid it when I should have been saving, planning, and improving.

- Avoid debt - exception: real estate or investing in your own business.

- Be selfish. Do what is best for you. You're not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own.

More where that came from...but I gotta go.
 
Top