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Leaving voicemails?

BJP1991

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Been thinking lately I'd like to try more calling, vs texting, when it comes to girls I've been on one or two dates with, since there is some sort of connection already developed.

If you get a voicemail, how do you typically proceed? Leave a brief VM for them to call you back, leave VM with proposal for a date or hangout session, or leave no VM and send a text instead?

I've been thinking that with girls who I connect with better on early dates, it is worth trying a call instead of a text (partly as a self-experiment and to help myself grow in the dating realm), and to further develop the connection with a girl, while getting to the point and making the 2nd/3rd/4th date, etc. Obviously I only use the phone to set dates, so I won't let it turn into any chitchat nonsense.

Thoughts on voicemail messages?

Thanks
 

Glassguy

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I dont leave VMs. Hell I rarely call chicks.

In today's dating world, if you left a vm she would probably text you back within a minute and proceed with texting anyways.
 

logicallefty

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I’ve got dozens of people coming at me during the week from multiple areas of life (work personal etc) and multiple communication methods (Phone text email IM etc). Voicemails are the last thing that gets my attention. It takes too much time to check them. If you leave me one don’t expect a response for at least a week. Chicks will text long before that, and if you really want something from me among all my competing priorities, you will too.
 

Espi

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I never leave voicemails. I will often send a text immediately after hanging up: "Hi there I just tried calling you no worries hope you're having a great day and feel free to call me back ;) ;)"
 

Alvafe

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who the hell leave a voice mail today? I don't bother to listen to voicemails, and if that icon start to bug me enough I just delete the msg don't even bother to listen
 

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Kotaix

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I haven't checked my voicemail in years, hell I don't even have a recording on mine. I will call or text, but never leave a VM. If they don't answer the phone, I might text.

VM is so 1998.
 

BJP1991

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I'm starting to see the whole talking vs texting thing come full circle.

Years ago texting seemed weak and avoidant. Today it is mainstream and talking on the phone seems alien. But I am coming across more and more women lately, at least it seems to me, who prefer talking/facetime over texting, particularly earlier on in the relationship. So I think voicemail, as dated as it might seem to us now, is going to be a circumstance to have to contend with once again.

That said, anytime I do call a woman, it is normally preplanned and expected. Its an arranged conversation, rather than a random, "Just seeing what you are up to" call out of nowhere. So I seldom end up getting voicemail to begin with. On rare occasion when I do, she knows that I called (missed calls history). They get back to me within a few minutes one way or another shortly thereafter mostly because they were right in the middle of something at that very moment.

There's no reason to leave a message.

Makes sense.

My call and voicemail would not be just to “say hi” or “check in”. The plan is to ask her on a date for the weekend, which we talked about on our first date Monday. If I get a VM, it will be short and to the point (“Hey, girlfirstname it’s BJP. Give me a call back when ya can!”).

It’s odd timing - she’s in between getting new phones and has some old razor flip phone until a new one arrives and she said it doesn’t get texts always from differing service providers than hers. She said she gets her new phone tomorrow, so I figure I’d call her in the afternoon at some point, perhaps when I’m off work for the day.

I would never leave a VM with anything more than my example above - never would I propose a date on voicemail - that’s silly
 

Julian

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lol i dont even have my vm setup. id send a voicenote over ig or snap if anything
 

Hal9000

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Calling but not leaving a voicemail is a good way to gauge interest. She will see that you called and if she's into you she will respond by calling or texting you back. If she ignores the call you can probably assume she's got her eye on someone else.
 

BJP1991

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Calling but not leaving a voicemail is a good way to gauge interest. She will see that you called and if she's into you she will respond by calling or texting you back. If she ignores the call you can probably assume she's got her eye on someone else.
Umm same for any level of communication? This is just saying if she responds, she’s interested. I don’t think that’s always true
 

flowtheory

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Voicemail is a no go; they’re for business. Give a call and then let her call you back. if it’s in the initial stages, you can always send a text after the call to cover both bases. With sending a text it will make her less likely to overthink calling you back. Women get real nervous over the phone early on. They can manage their emotions over text.
 

GrowingPains

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Nah, B. No voicemails.

Read something in the DJ Bible about just hanging up and never leaving a voicemail. Especially if it's the first time you're calling. You want it to be live.

I advocate calling. Its quicker than texting.. if they answer. And it works to your advantage of you can keep your cool and be fun. But if they don't call back, then you got your answer. They know they gave someone their number recently, they will probably call back if they were hoping you'd reach out. Think about how you respond to unknown numbers when you're expecting a call.. you call em back.

Voicemail is a great opportunity to make yourself look stupid. Or boring if you play it too safe.

Just call back in a few days+ and if she doesn't return that one... Next.
 

BJP1991

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Voicemail is a no go; they’re for business. Give a call and then let her call you back. if it’s in the initial stages, you can always send a text after the call to cover both bases. With sending a text it will make her less likely to overthink calling you back. Women get real nervous over the phone early on. They can manage their emotions over text.

Well, with the new phone nonsense, she won’t have my number saved on the brand new phone yet. Calling and hanging up when it gets to VM will just be some random phone number to her. How is that helpful in this situation?
 

Hal9000

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Umm same for any level of communication? This is just saying if she responds, she’s interested. I don’t think that’s always true
I don't necessarily disagree but responding to a missed call is definitely more of an indicator of interest than responding to a "how's your day" text or something like that.
 

sazc

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I would call. If she doesn't answer send a follow up text saying "just called, hit me up with a call or text when you have a second" and then leave the ball in her court.

She will see the missed call but not have to check a voicemail and she can decide to call or text you back
 

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flowtheory

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Well, with the new phone nonsense, she won’t have my number saved on the brand new phone yet. Calling and hanging up when it gets to VM will just be some random phone number to her. How is that helpful in this situation?
That’s why you’d send the text.
 

Espi

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It’s odd timing - she’s in between getting new phones and has some old razor flip phone until a new one arrives and she said it doesn’t get texts always from differing service providers than hers.

She said she gets her new phone tomorrow, so I figure I’d call her
She sounds like the type who expects you to jump through hoops. Her phone transistion/"odd timing" excuse sounds like bullshiat to me. I'd rather focus on women who don't make excuses.

At this point, I wouldn't call her. I would put the burden on her. Own the frame by making her initiate contact with you. You will risk losing her but if you do it's because she wasn't really into you to begin with.
 
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Espi

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Women get real nervous over the phone early on. They can manage their emotions over text.
Maybe so but they get no exceptions from me. I won't cater to any women who resists talking on the phone.

I'll engage in a few texts then an arranged phone time then an arranged meetup. Women are beautiful but they are also very good at making us think that they're delicate emotionally weak creatures.
 

BJP1991

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She sounds like the type who expects you to jump through hoops. Her phone transistion/"odd timing" excuse sounds like bullshiat to me. I'd rather focus on women who don't make excuses.

At this point, I wouldn't call her. I would put the burden on her. Own the frame by making her initiate contact with you. You will risk losing her but if you do it's because she wasn't really into you to begin with.
I don’t really agree, and here is why: I saw her Monday and she showed me the piece of **** phone she has. She doesn’t have my number saved on the old junk phone either. Putting the burden on her here does nothing, since she does not currently have my phone number. I mean, she could contact me via Facebook if she wanted to, but I don’t expect her to do that. That would be me expecting her to jump through hoops, not the other way around.

Our first date was Monday - she said I could try texting her if I wanted but said a lot of messages don’t go through when she is bridging the old phone to her current SIMcard. Hence why I’d rather wait until I know she has a new phone again to reach out and be confident it will actually go through.
 

Howiestern

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I've tried it every which way. The voicemail will likely get returned with a text.

Actually making a call will score you points many times(especially with girls that work in sales). I've been told "guys never call, all they want to do is text, thank you for calling me". Its a good way to set yourself apart from the herd and build rapport which leads to earlier sex. If she isn't comfortable enough to talk on the phone then she won't answer!

You can also find out a lot more about her when she gets to rambling on the phone. Use that to your advantage to see if you still
want to go out with her.
 
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