So my ex had a bad day yesterday. We texted back and forth throughout the day, she's telling me how crappy her day was. Apparently she's been fighting with her mom too. So at 11:45 at night she texts me, what are you doing? I reply that Im just watching TV before bed. She says she's sitting in the parking lot of CVS and is debating whether she should go home? I call her to see what's up. So she tells me briefly about the fighting with her mom. I tell her tomorrow will be better, don't let one day get you down, etc. Then she proceeds to tell me ok, I guess I'll go home. Talk to you later and hangs up. Very strange? No? Something tells me she was fishing for something else.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Late night text from my Ex
- Thread starter bignick79
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That was my impression and that's exactly what I didn't want. Just what I need to get dragged back into her drama. At least from the outside I can keep my distance if need be. I'll be her friend, because we were always there for each other and listened to each other, but getting back together, or even just sleeping together, there is always a price to pay for that!
If she had at least come out and said that she wanted to come talk or even if she said I want to come over and bang the hell out of you, at least I would have respected her honesty. Half our problems were started cuz she doesn't open up about what she wants. I have to guess, constantly having to guess whats on her mind. She's willing to tell me all these other problems and such, but not anything about us. She ended it with me, so if she is thinking about getting back together, it's my feeling it should come from her. It's not for me to say I'm thinking we should try again. She made her choice, if her mind has changed, she needs to suck it up and spit it out! No pun intended! Lol
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
bignick... couple things here:
1) Don't expect women to come right out with what they want. A huge part of game is learning how to read women and know what they want/expect. You are gonna deal with that with every single woman you date/hook up with. This case here was pretty easy to decode. Whether she wanted to come over, or wanted you to meet her out somewhere, that was as easy as it gets.
2) Don't give her the power. You say "if she is thinking about getting back together, it's my feeling it should come from her". You need to take the lead here. If you want to be with her, make the move. If you don't want to be with her, her making a move shouldn't mean anything to you. What you are saying is this is all her call. YOU be the leader here. Don't be dependent on her.
3) Somewhat related to my point above, and more of a question. You say that if you get back together it should come from her, yet your post before that one, you said you would be her friend "but getting back together, or even just sleeping together, there is always a price to pay for that!". So, which is it? Are you realizing you shouldn't get back together because of of the price to pay? Or are you waiting for her to come crawling back?
1) Don't expect women to come right out with what they want. A huge part of game is learning how to read women and know what they want/expect. You are gonna deal with that with every single woman you date/hook up with. This case here was pretty easy to decode. Whether she wanted to come over, or wanted you to meet her out somewhere, that was as easy as it gets.
2) Don't give her the power. You say "if she is thinking about getting back together, it's my feeling it should come from her". You need to take the lead here. If you want to be with her, make the move. If you don't want to be with her, her making a move shouldn't mean anything to you. What you are saying is this is all her call. YOU be the leader here. Don't be dependent on her.
3) Somewhat related to my point above, and more of a question. You say that if you get back together it should come from her, yet your post before that one, you said you would be her friend "but getting back together, or even just sleeping together, there is always a price to pay for that!". So, which is it? Are you realizing you shouldn't get back together because of of the price to pay? Or are you waiting for her to come crawling back?
flashpoint
Senior Don Juan
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^^^what he saysPDubb75 said:bignick... couple things here:
1) Don't expect women to come right out with what they want. A huge part of game is learning how to read women and know what they want/expect. You are gonna deal with that with every single woman you date/hook up with. This case here was pretty easy to decode. Whether she wanted to come over, or wanted you to meet her out somewhere, that was as easy as it gets.
2) Don't give her the power. You say "if she is thinking about getting back together, it's my feeling it should come from her". You need to take the lead here. If you want to be with her, make the move. If you don't want to be with her, her making a move shouldn't mean anything to you. What you are saying is this is all her call. YOU be the leader here. Don't be dependent on her.
3) Somewhat related to my point above, and more of a question. You say that if you get back together it should come from her, yet your post before that one, you said you would be her friend "but getting back together, or even just sleeping together, there is always a price to pay for that!". So, which is it? Are you realizing you shouldn't get back together because of of the price to pay? Or are you waiting for her to come crawling back?