"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Late bloomer

iCatch

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
102
Reaction score
5
so i just had a convo on aim with a really hot girl and she asked why i don't have a gf. she said a lot of girls in school have a crush on me and i'm one of the best looking guys in the school (yes she really said that) i was always awkward looking in grammar school and freshman and sophomore year. junior year people told me i got hot but i didn't believe them. i thought they were just mocking me. senior year girls started flirting with me like crazy and i had no idea why.

so my question is, has anyone ever experienced this? i was always awkward looking grammar school through sophomore year. now that i look at pictures of myself i do look a lot better. how do i get over the mentality that i'm the same awkward looking guy i used to be?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
554
Reaction score
7
Location
Portland, OR
How do you get over it? Look at yourself in the mirror and see what everyone else now sees. Go out there and take advantage of the situation. Obviously someone has noticed that you're matured nicely, and things have spread from there. A few popular or older girls thinking you're hot can all of a sudden make the whole school think you're hot. Use this chain reaction to your advantage.
 

#41

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
274
Reaction score
6
Location
United States
Seriously -- you had positive feedback from a neutral source telling you that people think you're hot/sexy/f-able, whatever. That's more positive feedback than most people will ever get from anyone not directly related to them.

If that doesn't boost your self-confidence, nothing will.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

iCatch

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
102
Reaction score
5
thanks guys. i'm definitely gonna work on this. i was just always this awkward looking kid that i got used to not getting girls.

it's like a fat guy getting really fit. in his mind he's still a fatass while he's actually really ripped.

it's just hard to get that mentality out of my head since i thought the same way for a long time before my appearance changed
 

eaglez1177

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
1,320
Reaction score
21
iCatch said:
so i just had a convo on aim with a really hot girl and she asked why i don't have a gf. she said a lot of girls in school have a crush on me and i'm one of the best looking guys in the school (yes she really said that) i was always awkward looking in grammar school and freshman and sophomore year. junior year people told me i got hot but i didn't believe them. i thought they were just mocking me. senior year girls started flirting with me like crazy and i had no idea why.

so my question is, has anyone ever experienced this? i was always awkward looking grammar school through sophomore year. now that i look at pictures of myself i do look a lot better. how do i get over the mentality that i'm the same awkward looking guy i used to be?
Are you kidding me bro? Is this honestly what your worrying about right now? You just got a MAJOR confidence boost from a really hot chick, why the hell are you freaking out about the past? Who gives a sh*t about what you looked like when you were younger! Thats all in the past so it shouldnt affect you at all. Live in the present and realize that your a good looking guy and you should be living up to what everyone says you are.
 

lalahaha

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
60
Reaction score
0
lol i remember i had this too, people would ask me out, even to prom in junior high school and i would think they would be mocking me or playing a practical joke. to get over it you need to adopt or rather develop the mentality of someone who is worth something and he knows it too, read through the bible it will help you out
 

iCatch

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
102
Reaction score
5
bump

gonna be a college freshman. tips on confidence?
 

Exhumed

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2009
Messages
366
Reaction score
5
Location
Pittsburgh, PA and State College, PA
How can you give someone tips on confidence? You're the fvcking MAN. Speak loudly and clearly and confidently, move like you own the campus, don't be afraid to strike up conversations with people when you first get there. That's what I plan to do, I'm also an incoming college freshman :) I however had to spend time and effort for my appearance to improve.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top