"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Large belly

Quiksilver

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Here are some pics, to show you the difference.

It's alot better now than it was before, but still annoying... And these pictures hardly do justice to it's size... especially looking down at it :).

Tensed

Relaxed

Pushed out


Hope this helps...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Fluffy

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To me it looks like the muscles holding in your gut are weak.

You can strengthen those muscles by sucking your stomach in, ala the link in wolf116's post.

Its a common problem especially with older men and Im pretty certain that this is the reason your gut sticks out.
 

mrRuckus

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My lower gut sticks out and i'm 9-10% bf. I started doing ab vacuums about 2 weeks ago and from the very start i could do 4 sets of 2 minutes with 1 minute breaks (could go on longer...) and since everywhere i see always has you starting at like 10 or 30 seconds at a time i feel i'm already well ahead of the game so i don't have much faith in it making much of a difference.
 

sunlight

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The side abs hold your gut on its place... you need to pay attention to them. Front abs don't hold gut.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Being_the_Don

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mrRuckus said:
My lower gut sticks out and i'm 9-10% bf. I started doing ab vacuums about 2 weeks ago and from the very start i could do 4 sets of 2 minutes with 1 minute breaks (could go on longer...) and since everywhere i see always has you starting at like 10 or 30 seconds at a time i feel i'm already well ahead of the game so i don't have much faith in it making much of a difference.
Ab vacuums? What kind of exercise is this?
 

mrRuckus

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Side abs? The transverse abdominus holds your gut in. I guess that kind of counts as side abs, but it's beneath the visible abs.

Ab vacuums are just like the link already posted. Suck in your gut as far as you can and hold it. I'm actually kind of thinking up a way to add weight to doing this. Haha, get a navel piercing and pull a string tied to something... I guess getting on your hands and knees and pulling your gut upwards adds gravity resistance.

Look it up on youtube. There's some crazy videos of what guys can do when they learn to control those muscles and get them strong.
 

spesmilitis

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Try doing sprints. My abdominal section always looks best when sprints are in my routine. I don't think I've ever seem a male or female sprinter with the round gut either. I'm not sure if it'll fix your problem but it couldn't hurt.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Like I said earlier, it may not be fat. It could be an intestinal problem.
 

stronglifts

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Quiksilver said:
Here are some pics, to show you the difference.

It's alot better now than it was before, but still annoying... And these pictures hardly do justice to it's size... especially looking down at it :).

Tensed

Relaxed

Pushed out

Hope this helps...

Several things that you can do Quagmire.

*) Strength those abs. They need to be stronger. I'll only give you one exercise: Turkish Get Ups. Do them. Go heavy. You'll feel it. Turkish Get Ups will tear your core apart.

*) I think you drink a lot of alcohol/beer. Test without it.

*) You don't seem to have a protruding butt (lordosis symptoms) & I assume your diet is right.


Btw, I share Espi's opinion. Bodybuilding is narcistic thus impairs confidence. You don't need to nickpick on every detail of your body. Strengthen those abs, but don't try to be like in the magazines. Be you.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Quiksilver

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Thanks a heap guys, lots of good info flowin in now.

I read that inter-abdominal muscle article and will try that exercise for a couple months, and post a pic at the end.


to spes: sprints are bruuutal man. I had them in my routine for many months. They were the catalyst in my fat loss from being chubby. They do work the abs a bit true, because you have to forcefully pull your legs up mid run, sort of like hanging knee raises.

So far have just been doing situps and crunches for abs, but ill try some more advanced techniques now.

to Espi: yeah man I know how it works with those model dudes... The thing is, I've asked many people and it just seems very few people have to consciously keep their abs tensed. Even if I am just obsessing over details, the results can only be good if it causes me to strengthen my abs further.

stronglifts: Before I got into exercising, even when I was playing sports at state level, I could barely do one full situp. You are probably right about my weak abs. I however rarely drink alcohol. Even when I drank the most, two years ago, it was still only once per week. Haven't "drank" in over three months now :(.

I wonder how EFFORT is going to respond to me doing way more ab work than is on the program...

again, thanks guys. Hopefully if I ever get this fixed someone will come along with the same issue and know what to do because of this.

Haha, love the turkish getups video.. I think I'll do those at home. I'd get beat up for doing those at the gym I go to.
 

wayword

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From those pix you don't look extremely lean - so it could still be vestigial fat.

Generally, you lose fat last from your face and belly...so that spare tire reserve might not get tapped until you have steadily been cutting for a month.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Master Bates

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wayword said:
From those pix you don't look extremely lean - so it could still be vestigial fat.

Generally, you lose fat last from your face and belly...so that spare tire reserve might not get tapped until you have steadily been cutting for a month.
I sort of have the same issue, and it's not fat. I still have a little bit of fat around my belly, but it definitely has nothing to do with the way my stomach sticks out. It's definitely more of an 'internal' thing.
 

wayword

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Master Bates said:
I sort of have the same issue, and it's not fat. I still have a little bit of fat around my belly, but it definitely has nothing to do with the way my stomach sticks out. It's definitely more of an 'internal' thing.
Possibly - but remember a lot of fat is interstitial - in other words, not just under your skin where you can easily see or feel it. But this internal fat will still push your belly out.
 

stronglifts

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Master Bates said:
Thanks, that looks like a great core exercise to add to my regimen. What day should I do this on though? Abs day?

Also, what about # of reps/sets?
Do them & you'll see that it's not an ab exercise. It's a full body exercise. Turkish get up will teach you to tighten everything. Strong grip to hold the weight, locked triceps to keep arm straight, shoulder girdle, back, legs to squat/lunge up & down & of course the lower back/abs to hold you upright.

Granted lots of muscles will be used to more weight (especiall back & legs), but you'll feel it everywhere.

Do 5 sets of 5 reps or so. Most important: go heavy. The point is not to flex your abs or whatever. The point is to lay down & get up. Go heavy.
 

Master Bates

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Well I've been doing stomach vacuums at least five times a week the past month and I don't think it's done a goddamn thing. ugh, it's so frustrating. the way your stomach looks really is like the main visual indicator of how fit you are, and mine makes me look like I sit on the couch all day eating doritos. pisses me off.
 

Dilberto

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You're prolly 13-16% bodyfat still. Razor-sharp definition of abs don't appear until you reach the magic, "single-digits". When Mark Wahlberg modeled Calvin Klein boxer briefs, in 1990- he was a ripped 3% bodyfat. And, he HATES ab exercises! But he eats low carbs at least six times a day. That's key. A volcanic metabolism will fry fat right offa you in no time......
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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