"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Lame

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RamboCS

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Ok, so I got a few situations in which I'm macking on girls that have boyfriends, and its starting to very slightly irritate me. This one girl that sits in front of me in class, for example, starts a conversation with me today...

Her: Nice shirt, I love Nintendo.
(I was wearing a Mario mushroom shirt, more for the magic mushroom aspect than the Mario aspect, but I like 'em both. I also like taking magic mushrooms whilst playing Mario, but thats another subject for another day. ;) )
Her: Me and my boyfriend played for 3 days straight once. : pointless story I don't recall paying much attention to :

So whats the point of starting a convo with me, only to mention your boyfriend in the next breath? I've never even heard his name and have no interest in knowing any information about him or about him and your relationship, why drag him into the convo?

Other ladies, be them coworkers or fellow classmates, show interest, some a lot of aforementioned interest, but they're all taken by some kid they've been dating for like 3 years. I don't really give a f*ck, in that I wouldn't be afraid to throw down the fisticuffs or anything. :box: I'm just curious as to what others have done in similar situations.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PeterNorthisawesome

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...wow... u don't realize that she came to TALK TO YOU cuz she was interested? maybe she's implying that she's BORED with her boyfriend and trying to meet someone NEW and HOT to CHEAT WITH? :crazy:
 
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RamboCS

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Oh yea, this thought crossed my mind, which is why I still talk to her unphased when she mentions her bf, but she seems hesitant. Once I said "Tonight I'm rolling," and she says "You're coming to Rutland?" (her hometown) with a big smile, so I said "Yea, I'm coming over, don't you remember?" And she just looked at me dumbfounded. I think next time she makes mention of whoeverda**** I'll just ask her how long shes been dating him. Regardless of her answer, I'll say something along the lines of "You must be getting real bored," or something. I usually better at thinking of something clever and refreshingly witty on the spot, so w/e.
 
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Damian

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It's a simple sh1t test. She's mentioning her boyfriend to see if you elicit some sort of jealous or indignant response. If you become standoffish or peeved, she can easily judge if you are attracted to her. That's pretty much all there is.

-Damian
 
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08aisaac

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Lol. I usually bring up her boyfriend, and try to see if he's worth her. Like, I tell her I can't stand to be around desperate guys. And ****, and explain why they seem to be overprotective. And ****. Then the girl will start talking about how her boyfriend calls all the time, and does **** like that. Then I'm like "Yeah, too bad you can't have a real boyfriend."
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Damian

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08aisaac, positively genius. I'll be adding that one to my repertoire. Props

-Damian
 
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