"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Lady blowing hot then suddenly cold

Jeffst1980

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I'll add that trying to go "sexual" over email or online chat is a big mistake if you haven't met. Girls will do this online because it is "safe," but once you start pushing to meet in person it will all go to hell. There's just too much pressure and awkwardness involved in having to meet someone under those pretenses.

Best thing to do when a women starts dirty talk that early is to de-escalate- "whoa there...I don't even know you...at least buy me a drink first!"

This story is very common. Also, you really shouldn't send more messages after she's agreed to meet you- that can only screw up your chances.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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saab1981

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great advice there guys, which I've taken on board now...I Plan on deleting her texts and photos, she was clearly just a user. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, ie phone not working, but I've seen her online etc. I mean if she can't spare 2 minutes to drop me a message, why should I spend days fretting over it.. Thanks again my fellow DJs, you gave me the kick in the pants I needed!
 

jophil28

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saab1981 said:
She has said how much I 'rock her world' ..
I would have been turned off if a grown woman used such a tedious and irritating cliche.
 

Joe Stud

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these DJ's are right. NC until she contacts you. and then it's YOUR turn to be aloof & "busy"....
that is IF you want to continue toying with her at all
 

saab1981

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Bit of an update guys: She got back to me on monday night. She has explained a lot about her situation. Bottom line is this - shes in a relationship of a few years, and things with her fella over the last year or so have been stale. Her guy was a miserable ass apparently, always complaining, being a jerk, whereas she's quite fun, educated and articulate with a good job - not your average young, vain chick. When we first got in touch, she was looking to go down the 'no strings' route, as was I too.

Alas, she appears to have had a massive change of heart at some point- her and her fella had a major row last week, and she gave him an ultimatium, whereby he had to cheer up about things, and stop being a critical jerk, or she'd leave him. Since then apparently, he has managed to keep this up, and she 'can't fault him' (I personally guarantee he'll end up back in his own, jerk ways eventually)

She says I'm a sweet guy and makes her laugh, and she enjoyed our messaging, but now has guilty feelings over what we were doing, and has basically told me she's very 'confused' right now, not to mention having a tough time at work, with her parents and with this guy.

Do you think it's worth leaving the door open to her, and spinning some more plates?
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Falcon25

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Falcon25 said:
There is one answer to this; As this happened to me with a young girl this week.

When a woman goes suddenly cold on you, there is only one explanation;

Another man.

The other guy came back and stepped up his game. He was always there. They always are. Cause god forbid a woman can't be alone. It's another guy. Don't worry about it.
Remember what I told you???
 
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