"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lacking Motivation?

T

Tweek_1984

Senior Don Juan
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I've pretty much hit a wall at the moment.

I'm a RAFC and I've known the basics for quite a while. I've got over my nervousness with girls, to a point where I don't really care about them, even if they're hot.

But anyways, whenever I'm working or in a period where I havent been out for a long time I yern to get out there and meet loads of chicks.

However, whenever I go out, like at the moment I've finished my exams at college and I have a bunch of free time. But I just can't seem to get myself into gear whenever I go out.
For instance, I was out last night at this joint that was FULL of horny women. I mean, I was getting girls giving me eye contact. But I wasn't giving it. It isn't that I don't want to shag these girls, it's just I couldn't be bothered!
I have to be in the party mood and I ain't a people person if you know what I mean so I'm not usually all happy and willing to talk to everyone.

Anyways, I just end up getting bored and depressed and going home. I know I'm doing wrong, but I cant put my finger on why I feel this way or how to fix it.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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S

spider_007

Master Don Juan
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start sociolizing, one person at a time.

The reason your not "feeling" right, is probably because your not having fun. Find some friends first....
 
T

Tweek_1984

Senior Don Juan
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Yep, I agree, but it's more complicated than just that.

I'm actually seeing a student counciller at uni and we have establ;ished that I'm pretty insecure and am going through an identity crisis at the moment.

I just dont know when its going to end.
 
A

Alpine

Master Don Juan
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Purpose.

This is what you are lacking. Because you don't know who you are and what's important to you, there's little motivation to do anything. Chuck in a little bit of, fear of failure and you end up feeling paralysed.

Ponder over these ideas in a quiet moment and see what comes to light.
 
S

Scoiland

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
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western canada
you should go out and get some sort of hobby

Join like a dance class ( ballroom ), work out, golf, go for runs down by the river or something

This will make you feel better and make you in a better mood too meet people

And like the above poster stated, you must get good friends first

Your Friends really affect your attitude and if you have boring friends then you aren't going to feel like doing anything either
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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