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Lack of action lead to Friendzone - how to get out?

Bigpapa

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Yeah, I guess, in a way. It’s not the typical friendzoning though. She’s always asking me to hangout, she knows I date other girls (she’s seen me with MUCH prettier girls than her). I dint spend a dime on her, I have nothing invested in her except for a little bit of time. I mean, she bought me a birthday present. All I got for her was send her a text for hers. Didn’t seem to bother her though.
that is because you offer her something else than resources ( which I agree is that most guys being friend zoned offer ) . You offer her the fantasy of looking cool , which she will not jeopardize by sleeping with you ( because she knows that things can turn ugly once sex is involved)

My guess is that your case you did not escalate fast enough and that is why you ended where you ended , cause by the like of it I am very confident that she finds you a sexy guy :)
 

Robert28

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that is because you offer her something else than resources ( which I agree is that most guys being friend zoned offer ) . You offer her the fantasy of looking cool , which she will not jeopardize by sleeping with you ( because she knows that things can turn ugly once sex is involved)

My guess is that your case you did not escalate fast enough and that is why you ended where you ended , cause by the like of it I am very confident that she finds you a sexy guy :)
I mean she’s an attractive girl, but she’s not the type of girl I’d ever get into a relationship with. She’s got way too many red flags. She’s got a kid but her daughter freaking adores me because I’ll play with her at the park and stuff. This girl didn’t finish highschool, she’s got a GED, she is a convicted felon because she got caught stealing pills at her pharmacy job, she’s a whole bunch of crazy. She dates losers. But besides all that she’s actually kinda cool to be around I just have to make sure she doesn’t try to make it an all the time thing. I try to keep it around an every 2 weeks of seeing her type thing with minimal communication in between. She doesn’t respond to flirting, I guess I could have made a move when we first met but I didn’t really see her like someone I’d ever date.
 

Robert28

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its annoying, sometimes it feels like I have come full circle, from being friendzoned for being too beta, to friendzoned for doing too much self-improvement
Ha! Yep. This doesn’t hurt my feelings though, I guess because I never got emotionally invested in her. Would I sleep with her? Sure. But I’ve slept with much better looking women and easily meet better women all the time. So I guess that psychologically keeps me grounded. She sees this too, which is why I think she wants to hangout so often. Things aren’t weird because I’m not some beta orbiter but she gets to experience what it’s like hanging around a guy that isn’t a bum and I think she secretly knows it would never work long term between us anyways because we come from two different backgrounds.
 

bat soup

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We'd meet outside on a bench and talk for hours.
[Waste of time and the best way to get into the friend zone]

Her body language was dead, I'd sit in the middle and she'd sit in a corner.
[She's not sexually attracted to you]

We met a few times
[more time wasted]

but at one point I cut contact as she would be very flaky about meetings
[she doesn't find you attractive]

she told me she isn't looking to date
[she doesn't want to date YOU}

Last time we met, I told her if she ever needs help coding to let me know.
[You started simping and became her orbiter]

So one day she texts me if I can help her.
[She decided to use you]

I was very uninterested in her [not true], but I enjoy helping [hot girls that don't find me sexually attractive], So I said ok [I'll be your simp]. I'd have video calls with her [so that she could use me for attention and favours without her having to worry that I might try to touch her].

months wasted, a whole bunch of BS leading to................................

She told me not to worry as we are friends
Well done!
 

BackInTheGame78

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If lack of action leads to the friendzone then logically it would stand to reason that taking action would lead out of it.
 

Robert28

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If lack of action leads to the friendzone then logically it would stand to reason that taking action would lead out of it.
Exactly. Feminist and their white knights can deny the existence of the FZ all they want but we all know it’s very much real. I’ve been friendzone and I made it clear as day with my action that I was sexually interested in her and I still got nowhere. In fact she made it impossible to get her into a space where I could escalate. Talk about frustrating. But all is good, every time I’ve been friendzoned I’ve ended up meeting someone much better who was interested so it’s all worked out.
 
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