You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You ever videotaped yourself while you are lifting? Usually there is plenty of room for improvement in the technique department. It's the first thing I'm always looking out if my lifts stall. Most of the time I find a small error in technique and can correct it or it's a combination of bad technique and muscle weakness. (in my bench for example my triceps is a bit weak).Krueg said:Thanks rice!
@Fugly, Yes I could switch/change my assistance exercises. The way I choose assistant work is based off the muscles involved in each lift...
Squat/Dead
-Glutes/Hams
-Low Back
-Abs
Bench
-Triceps
-Lats/Upper Back
-Delts
-Chest/Forearms/Biceps
Sometimes I'll switch it up, but If I feel its not helping my main lift I'll dump it from the program.
If you got some ideas or advice, I'm open to it..
I don't have a way to video tape myself, A co-worker has offered to film me. Havent got around to it. Though I met a competitive powerlifter at my gym who pulled 685 in competition said my deadlift form is good. Though he did tell me to keep eating Big! He's been lifting for 5 years and powerlifting the last 3 years. I on the other hand, only been seriously lifting for a little over a year. Will be nice to see where I'm at after 3-5 years of trainingLifeforce said:You ever videotaped yourself while you are lifting? Usually there is plenty of room for improvement in the technique department. It's the first thing I'm always looking out if my lifts stall. Most of the time I find a small error in technique and can correct it or it's a combination of bad technique and muscle weakness. (in my bench for example my triceps is a bit weak).
Accessory work is all fine and good but shouldn't really be needed until form is perfected. This is when it's possible to actually differentiate between muscle weakness and muscle weakness due to lifting with subpar technique. Just throwing it out there. Adding some high rep work with very low weight to focus on technique might be beneficial to change the neural motor unit activation pattern. Takes loads of reps to incorporate any technique changes.
Lifts are looking good, strong OH press compared to bench. With that bench your OH should be closer to 100 lbs.![]()
Thanks, my all time best Press is 125(lbs) and my best Bench is 155. Nothing awesome but, its gone up from where I was not too long ago...Lifts are looking good, strong OH press compared to bench. With that bench your OH should be closer to 100 lbs.![]()
TheStig said:I agree with Lifeforce, your OH press is reaaaaally close to your bench, which is something I haven't seen before. I'd consider that a good thing, I wish my OH press was as close to my bench as yours is...the most I've ever OH pressed was 155 last week haha. Good job on the double PRs too, 15 lbs is a big increase when you get near maximal loads.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah actually a narrower grip has helped me a lot. Also having my elbow in more has helped. I don't think the reason it helps is more triceps, because they usually are the limiting factor on the bench. Think about it, the triceps are a much smaller muscle group than the chest, so they will be much more likely to fail before your chest really gets fatigued.Krueg said:Thanks Stig, Yea it is kinda odd how close my OH Press is, I'd think my bench should be better but, the bench press is just one of those lifts I've never really been good at. Could be a mental thing, weakness or possibly my grip when benching. I have been benching a little wider lately to focus more on my chest. Think I'll bring things in a couple inches and use a little more triceps and see if that helps.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.