"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Konada's Workout Journal

Konada

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Decided to move my workout stats here, haven't been doing much for interest in my personal improvement journal.

Stats at 1 June 2011
Height: 5'6"
Age: 18
Wt: 102lbs

In lbs:
Squats: 3x5 55
Deadlift: 1x5 44
Bench press: 3x5 44
Standing military press: 3x5 34
Barbell bent rows: 3x5 44

14 June 2011
Ht: same
Wt: 108lbs
Age: same

Squats: 3x5 100
Bench press: 3x5 55
Deadlift: 1x5 65
Standing military press: 3x5 50
Bent barbell rows: 3x5 55
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Konada

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15 June 2011

Squats 3x5 105lbs
Bent BB rows 3x5 55lbs (easy still focusing on correct form)
Standing Military press 3x5 (1st set 55lbs, 2/3 set 50lbs, might be because of warm up sets earlier.)
 

Konada

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Kerpal said:
You're not squatting deep enough.
I do ATG squats. Way below parallel and I know that. Probably means I can ramp up deadlift weight more. Thanks for the heads up.
 

Konada

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20 June 2011
Fell sick a couple of days ago so had to skip gym. So this session is to make sure I hold my previous stats

3x5 Squats 105lbs (fail on 2nd rep of last set)
3x5 Standing Military press 55lbs
3x5 BB Bent Rows 65lbs
 

Konada

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22 June 2011

3x5 squats 90lbs (focusing on correct form first, realised from comments ans myself form was way out)
3x5 inclined bench press 60lbs (as usual some asshol3 always hogs the bench press)
1x5 deadlift 90lbs
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Konada

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24 June 2011

Today is the worst workout I've had so far. Tried to switch from high bar to low bar but my upper back (rounded back) couldn't take the heavy weight and as a result I missed the rack after a set. Had to go back to high bar and lowered the weight. I was pretty much affected by that and it affected the rest of my workouts.

3x5 Squats (LB 1x5 100lbs *missed rack*, 2x5 95lbs HB)
3x5 Bent barbell rows 65lbs
3x5 Standing Military Press 50lbs

Thoughts for next workout:
1. Bring down weight to 80lbs and focus on getting uppr back to support weight properly for low bar.
2. Start to ramp up weights. (I feel that I'm stalling though)

Could really use some advice here wince I'm a newbie at this.
 

Fuglydude

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Dude as a newbie, don't worry about bar placement and all that jazz. Just focus on proper squatting and work on getting your numbers up. Stuff gets way easier after you've been doing it for a little while and have some mass to back you up.

Have a good diet and train hard and you'll grow like a total weed in the next few years!
 

Konada

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Fuglydude said:
Dude as a newbie, don't worry about bar placement and all that jazz. Just focus on proper squatting and work on getting your numbers up. Stuff gets way easier after you've been doing it for a little while and have some mass to back you up.

Have a good diet and train hard and you'll grow like a total weed in the next few years!
Hmm I looked it up on the web and many say that HB squats focus on the quads more whilst LB squats focus on glutes and hamstrings as well. Not only that but it helps the upper back somehow via isometric exercises just by supporting the bar, leading to more gains. I know I shouldn't be concerning myself with bar placement and sh1t but I prefer to start early to prevent serious mess ups in the future when I'm doing heavier weights. Your thoughts?
 

Konada

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Kerpal said:
What do you need advice on?

You should have an easier time with the low bar position, you can low bar squat a lot more than you can high bar assuming you train them both equally.

If someone is on the bench all the time just ask to work in.

There is no, No, NO way you should be "stalling" at this point in your linear progression. Read this: http://startingstrength.com/articles/clarification_rippetoe.pdf

Read the book if you haven't already. Maybe re-read it if you have. A lot of the questions you're asking are covered in the book.
My upper back can't support the weight I'm squatting right now if I' do low bar squats. Its partly a shouldrr flexibility problem but I'vr been doing shoulder dislocations to cope with that.

I realise that my upper back always becomes rounded with heavy weights during low bar squats, I presume my upper back is the limiting factor for a good low bar squat with proper form right now. I also have a hard time re racking after finish the low bar squat set. So I'm thinking of lowering the weights to correct my form before venturing into heavier weights. That's my problem with low bar squats.
 

Konada

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Kerpal said:
Have you tried widening your grip? That may help if your shoulders are too inflexible.

It doesn't make any sense that your upper back can't support the weight low bar but can high bar. If anything it should be the other way around.

Are you sure it's your upper back rounding and not your lower back? If it is your upper back you're probably not pulling your shoulder blades together properly, the technique is covered in the book.
It could be because I failed to keep my back tight. Usually when I de-rack it I kept my back as tight as possible (even though it hurts me), after I start my first rep, I lose focus on keeping back tightness and probably where all the trouble starts. I realise when I derack the bar its always signifacntly higher than the hooks, but after a set I have to kinda tiptoe to put the bar over the hooks. Is this a sign of a weak back?
 

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Konada

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Kerpal said:
Could be several things. Are you totally sure it's your upper back and not your lower back? Keeping your upper/lower back tight should not hurt. If it's hurting your lower back you might be hyperextending.

If the bar is lower at the end of the set then you're probably holding it too low during the set and it's sliding down your back. That would explain the shoulder pain too. Either that or your lower back is rounding so badly that when you walk it back in the bar is lower than it was when you unracked it. You should never have to tiptoe the bar back into the rack, lower the hooks a notch or two. And re-read the book, this isn't rocket science. I figured this stuff out and I'm the least athletic person on the planet, if I can do it you should be able to.

A video would help diagnose form problems.
I'll try to take a video asap. Could be a lower back issue but I never felt pain there before, though one of the old fellas there told me I was bending my back.
 
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Squat's suck ass. People think they're a good body workout.....It's not true. It's just one of countless myth which have become part of the gym rat mythology. Heavy squats are actually a bad exercise. If you do them routinely over decades, you'll increase the probability and onset of lumbar-sacro osteoarthritis and lower back problems. Seated leg presses are better becase they take the load off of a spine which did not evolve sufficient to accommodate the way humans use their spines.

You need to be very skeptical about what you hear around gyms. The bodybuilder mentality is generally credulous and ignorant and ripe for any memes that comes along. And, the magazines, websites, supplements ads, etc. are all designed to keep you in the dark because the truth won't sell products, advertising, equipment, gimmicks, supplements, etc.
 

KarmaSutra

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Gears of Led Zep said:
Squat's suck ass. People think they're a good body workout.....It's not true. It's just one of countless myth which have become part of the gym rat mythology. Heavy squats are actually a bad exercise. If you do them routinely over decades, you'll increase the probability and onset of lumbar-sacro osteoarthritis and lower back problems. Seated leg presses are better becase they take the load off of a spine which did not evolve sufficient to accommodate the way humans use their spines.

You need to be very skeptical about what you hear around gyms. The bodybuilder mentality is generally credulous and ignorant and ripe for any memes that comes along. And, the magazines, websites, supplements ads, etc. are all designed to keep you in the dark because the truth won't sell products, advertising, equipment, gimmicks, supplements, etc.
Listen to this man. Gears is spot on with his information. I fell prey to the heavy squats myth. Then my knees, lower back, and arches of my feet began to ache and hurt. Not Aleve or Darvocet helped. I went to seated leg presses and used the hack squat machine which completely alleviated my issues.

Without any loss.

Excellent and insightful post Brother.
 

Konada

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@Kerpal Could small prosterior deltoids result in the back not being to suppprt the bar and hence it rolling off? I found the placement for
LB squats but seeing how non existent my deltoids are it may be contributing to the bar slipping down my back.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

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These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Konada

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27 June 2011

3x5 Bench Press 65lbs
3x5 Squats 80lbs
1x5 Deadlift 100lbs

Got the form down for LB squats with 80lbs. Will increase weight to 90lbs next workout.
 

Konada

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29 June 2011
3x5 Standing Military Press 55lbs
3x5 Squats 90lbs
3x5 Bent BB rows 70lbs

I missed Wednesday's workout because of my exams the whole day. Time to get things back on track. Great workout today!
 

Konada

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4 July 2011

3x5 Squats 100lbs
1x5 Deadlift 110lbs
3x5 Bench Press 65lbs (idk why but after the 1st set of 70lbs i felt that if I continued I'd be doing it to failure on 2nd set. Lowered weight to finish sets)
 

Konada

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6 July 2011

3x5 Bench Press 70pbs
3x5 Bent barbell rows 75lbs
3x5 Standing Military Press 55lbs (2nd rep 3rd set failure)

I'm staying off leg exercises until my knee heals, dont want to mess up my knee. Dammit this sucks, not being able to do squats is really frustrating.
 

Konada

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11 July 2011

3x5 Bent Barbell Rows 80lbs
3x5 Standing Military Press 55lbs

My knee is getting better but still not fully healed yet. Can't wait to add squats back into training. I missed Friday's workout due a hectic curriculum, by the time I got home it was already 10pm, bummer.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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