"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Knowing a lot of girls via company - how apropriate to ask them out

Trance

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Background:
I have management responsabilities in one of the company departments: We have more than 20 clothing retail shops at malls, and so i get to know all the girls who work there. When visiting stores we talk about work related stuff, and of course we make some small talk and stuff, either the shop's managers, either the girl employees (about 90%). The shop managers know eachother somewhat, and the girls dont have much contact with the ones in the other shops.

Some of them are really cute, and i get tempted to get to know them better and ask them out. My question here is: how apropriate is that, and what is the best way to do it in a casual non harassing way, that i can spot if there is mutual interest without any coments in the company?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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snowdog

Master Don Juan
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Only ask them when the connection between you two makes it appropriate. Check my journal (link in sig) and look on page 4, one of the last posts. I did it, and she couldn't do it because she didn't have time, or so she told me. But f*ck it, at least i tried ya know?
 

Trance

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I think that in order to establish a connection i have to spend some time outside the shops with them, and for that i have to make an invitation. There i get back to my initial question of the best way to do it.
 

snowdog

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Not really. You know that show "The Office: US"? In that show a guy and a girl are really flirting all the time during the job. You don't need to spend time outside work...
 

Bussey

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You're in a management position of 20ish stores. You're NOT in a position to be flirting with any of the employees.

If you, like in the Office US, were both in the same position as each other, then its possible to be more appropriate. But because you are above them its not.

It's like the boss sleeping with some new employee... sure its your private life, but professionally it's a career killer.

You're choice.... do you want to get to know a few entry level retail clerks and potentially lose your job, but definitely your respect if its leaked.

OR... do you do your job and meet girls outside work and improve your career.

Just be smart man... lots of girls, don't fish where you eat.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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