"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Knowing a lot of girls via company - how apropriate to ask them out

Trance

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Background:
I have management responsabilities in one of the company departments: We have more than 20 clothing retail shops at malls, and so i get to know all the girls who work there. When visiting stores we talk about work related stuff, and of course we make some small talk and stuff, either the shop's managers, either the girl employees (about 90%). The shop managers know eachother somewhat, and the girls dont have much contact with the ones in the other shops.

Some of them are really cute, and i get tempted to get to know them better and ask them out. My question here is: how apropriate is that, and what is the best way to do it in a casual non harassing way, that i can spot if there is mutual interest without any coments in the company?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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snowdog

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Only ask them when the connection between you two makes it appropriate. Check my journal (link in sig) and look on page 4, one of the last posts. I did it, and she couldn't do it because she didn't have time, or so she told me. But f*ck it, at least i tried ya know?
 

Trance

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I think that in order to establish a connection i have to spend some time outside the shops with them, and for that i have to make an invitation. There i get back to my initial question of the best way to do it.
 

snowdog

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Not really. You know that show "The Office: US"? In that show a guy and a girl are really flirting all the time during the job. You don't need to spend time outside work...
 

Bussey

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You're in a management position of 20ish stores. You're NOT in a position to be flirting with any of the employees.

If you, like in the Office US, were both in the same position as each other, then its possible to be more appropriate. But because you are above them its not.

It's like the boss sleeping with some new employee... sure its your private life, but professionally it's a career killer.

You're choice.... do you want to get to know a few entry level retail clerks and potentially lose your job, but definitely your respect if its leaked.

OR... do you do your job and meet girls outside work and improve your career.

Just be smart man... lots of girls, don't fish where you eat.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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