Kissing On First Date. Thoughts/Advice Needed.

[jamesfromhouston]

Hey gents,

Last week I been on 2 first dates with girls I met on OLD.

Girl 1: We had a good vibe during the meet up. Laughed a lot and she was really excited the whole night. I could sort of tell she is interested in me, due to how quick she agreed to meet up with me. Throughout the whole night I was touchy and got progressively more touchy, ultimately telling her I want to kiss her. It was at that moment, she initially refused to kiss me telling me its a public place; but I said screw it, who cares. I gave a small freeze-out after the rejection and ultimately she kissed me. Then later in the night, she was touchy as well, we didn't hook up, bounced to a friends party and ultimately went home.

Girl 2: Situation was sort of same as girl 1. She was really engaged the whole night. She was also very keen to meet up. I was super touchy, rubbing her waist, back, without much resistance or hesitation from her. Finally, I went for the kiss, and she flat out did a cheek turn and covered her mouth with her hand. (This was the first time, I had received a cheek turn, I found it both funny and surprising) She told me, no right now. We ended the late without really dwelling on it, but no kiss close.

Anyway, recently I been trying to push for the kiss on the first date (not normally my thing), usually I go for it in the 2nd or 3rd dates. (But I want to speed up the game.) So was just wondering in both these instances, is it a lack of interest, or my game being too weak or are girls nowadays seriously agaisnt first date kisses. And in these scenarios of rejection, how would you bros handle and what would you bros do? Also for those who escalate well on date 1 (kissing/making out/hooking up) what are some tips?

 

[jimwho]

There is always going to be a time that is right for the kiss. Forcing the issue can be sketchy. I'm in no rush with that
Stuff. Plus women always give you a clear signal. If I'm on a 2nd date then I'll use humor and say something like
"I think it's time we kiss". You can tell a lot about how things are going doing that. Also you can tell a lot about how things are going after a kiss.

Many here will say no kiss = Next or Ghost. I admit I play a bit of a long game, it's what works for me.

 

[Robert28]

Getting a kiss on the first date isn’t always a tell sign that she will want to see you again. I’ve kissed on more first dates that lead to being rejected afterwards than I care to remember. And I mean actual kisses, not pecks or anything like that.

 

[SW15]

recently I been trying to push for the kiss on the first date (not normally my thing), usually I go for it in the 2nd or 3rd dates. (But I want to speed up the game.) So was just wondering in both these instances, is it a lack of interest, or my game being too weak or are girls nowadays seriously agaisnt first date kisses. And in these scenarios of rejection, how would you bros handle and what would you bros do? Also for those who escalate well on date 1 (kissing/making out/hooking up) what are some tips?

I agree on going for the first date kiss. Your first date kiss percentages will be higher if you meet a woman via cold approach as your first interaction vs. a website/swipe app. Houston has good weather now so I'd spend today at a city park or on a walking path in a singles dense area doing approaches. When you have your first date kiss after an in-person approach, it is during the 2nd overall interaction. That sort of stuff helps with a woman's ASD stuff.

Women now are not against first date kisses. Women's attitudes on first date kisses haven't shifted much in the past 10-15 years. If you're not getting first date kisses, it is a sign of weaker game. As far as rejection of a kiss, that's why you want to try it earlier in the date, so if you get rejected in your first attempt, you still have a chance to get it at the end of the date. If you're trying a kiss at the end of the date and you get rejected, that's difficult to bounce back from. Ending a date on a poor note like that makes a 2nd date less probable. You might not want to offer a 2nd date in those circumstances because the odds of it being accepted are not high.

Women age 33+ have more ASD due to pump and dumps and failed relationships. If you're a 37 year old guy on a date with a 34 year woman, she might have a full on, no kiss on first date policy, and nothing you do will matter there. She'll only enforce this with men her own age that she sees as options for extended relationships. She might be into you but you wouldn't know.

Getting a kiss on the first date isn’t always a tell sign that she will want to see you again. I’ve kissed on more first dates that lead to being rejected afterwards than I care to remember. And I mean actual kisses, not pecks or anything like that.

Yes, same here. Most of those were from tech sourced dates. A kiss on a first date when the first interaction was an in-person approach has much more meaning and much more probability in leading to a 2nd date.

 

[Robert28]

I agree on going for the first date kiss. Your first date kiss percentages will be higher if you meet a woman via cold approach as your first interaction vs. a website/swipe app. Houston has good weather now so I'd spend today at a city park or on a walking path in a singles dense area doing approaches. When you have your first date kiss after an in-person approach, it is during the 2nd overall interaction. That sort of stuff helps with a woman's ASD stuff.

Women now are not against first date kisses. Women's attitudes on first date kisses haven't shifted much in the past 10-15 years. If you're not getting first date kisses, it is a sign of weaker game. As far as rejection of a kiss, that's why you want to try it earlier in the date, so if you get rejected in your first attempt, you still have a chance to get it at the end of the date. If you're trying a kiss at the end of the date and you get rejected, that's difficult to bounce back from. Ending a date on a poor note like that makes a 2nd date less probable. You might not want to offer a 2nd date in those circumstances because the odds of it being accepted are not high.

Women age 33+ have more ASD due to pump and dumps and failed relationships. If you're a 37 year old guy on a date with a 34 year woman, she might have a full on, no kiss on first date policy, and nothing you do will matter there. She'll only enforce this with men her own age that she sees as options for extended relationships. She might be into you but you wouldn't know.



Yes, same here. Most of those were from tech sourced dates. A kiss on a first date when the first interaction was an in-person approach has much more meaning and much more probability in leading to a 2nd date.

I’ve noticed that too. Even when I didn’t meet the girl on a dating app, say we had mutual friends on Facebook and started talking, it was always the same result. Or we’d go on 3-4 dates that absolutely lead to nowhere but they pretended they had high interest for 2-3 weeks and then became very cold out of the blue. I’ve found you can’t make ANY mistakes or missteps on dates from online but you can with a girl you met in person and got to know.

 

[SW15]

I’ve noticed that too. Even when I didn’t meet the girl on a dating app, say we had mutual friends on Facebook and started talking, it was always the same result. Or we’d go on 3-4 dates that absolutely lead to nowhere but they pretended they had high interest for 2-3 weeks and then became very cold out of the blue. I’ve found you can’t make ANY mistakes or missteps on dates from online but you can with a girl you met in person and got to know.

Truth. You get no margin for error on dates from websites/swipe apps. You don't have that much margin for error on dates from random cold approaching. You have more margin for error on those social circle dates where you have mutual acquaintances.

 

[Robert28]

Truth. You get no margin for error on dates from websites/swipe apps. You don't have that much margin for error on dates from random cold approaching. You have more margin for error on those social circle dates where you have mutual acquaintances.

Used to be you could get away with mistakes back in the day, that’s all changed now. And everything can be going great (seemingly) but if you fail to pick up on one of her hints she’s done with you.

 

[bat soup]

Hey gents,

Last week I been on 2 first dates with girls I met on OLD.

Girl 1: We had a good vibe during the meet up. Laughed a lot and she was really excited the whole night. I could sort of tell she is interested in me, due to how quick she agreed to meet up with me. Throughout the whole night I was touchy and got progressively more touchy, ultimately telling her I want to kiss her. It was at that moment, she initially refused to kiss me telling me its a public place; but I said screw it, who cares. I gave a small freeze-out after the rejection and ultimately she kissed me. Then later in the night, she was touchy as well, we didn't hook up, bounced to a friends party and ultimately went home.

Girl 2: Situation was sort of same as girl 1. She was really engaged the whole night. She was also very keen to meet up. I was super touchy, rubbing her waist, back, without much resistance or hesitation from her. Finally, I went for the kiss, and she flat out did a cheek turn and covered her mouth with her hand. (This was the first time, I had received a cheek turn, I found it both funny and surprising) She told me, no right now. We ended the late without really dwelling on it, but no kiss close.

Anyway, recently I been trying to push for the kiss on the first date (not normally my thing), usually I go for it in the 2nd or 3rd dates. (But I want to speed up the game.) So was just wondering in both these instances, is it a lack of interest, or my game being too weak or are girls nowadays seriously agaisnt first date kisses. And in these scenarios of rejection, how would you bros handle and what would you bros do? Also for those who escalate well on date 1 (kissing/making out/hooking up) what are some tips?

It's best to lead up to the point where kissing feeling like the natural next step rather than trying to force it. Some girls at first will not want to but will let you later, when they're turned on enough. Sometimes girls will let you kiss them on the cheek or on the neck rather than the mouth and you can do that until they are ready to go further.

I've had girls say things like "I'm not going to kiss you" and then they did just that. If they remain close and allow physical contact, then it will happen - it's just a question of time.