Kino or Ignore her?

[PumpingIron13]

And i really dont wanna fvuck this up and put myself in the friend position before I really get to make my moves. Anyway I've read alot of stuff on here and alot of the DJ Bible and i think its helped me so far. You see i met her at my friends party and we kinda chilled a few times that night and had some cool conversations, i played some guitar for her n what not and i think i made a good first impression besides being pretty high lol. Anyways after that i started to talk to he rmore often at school this past week just at passing period n stuff cuz i have no classes with her. I look here straight in the eyes and always keep my cool and steer clear from any akward silences. I talk to her a little online too and she really digs my music which im stoked about and also i was telling her about how i charme dmy teacher by making a flower appear and i avoided getting a detention...she joked saying something like wow u must be smooth making fun of me a but n i was like i gues sill have to make a flower for u n then well see and she agreed. Anyways next day at school i decided not to do the trick or even talk to her at all just to not seem like i was all excited to do it and later that not online she was liek ill make a shirt of ur band maybe for battle of the bands but i am not sure n i was like fine but then no flower for you, and then she said you didnt show me a flower today, i thought this was cool cuz she noticed something i DIDNT do, and that she was maybe expecting it from me. Anyways i wanna hang out with her outside of school but im not too sure where to go from here my friend says i need to get her number but i htink it might be kinda early since weve only talked 3 4 times in person for short periods of time.

Sorry about the other post tried to delete it but it wont let me for some reason...Anyway i saw her tonight at a kick back and at first i didnt give her much attention, i chatted up like every chick besides her and made people laugh just being the life of the party somewhat and then i went and gave her 5 minutes which was a little biut more the nother chicks, then i cut her off again for a good amount of time doing what i did before and noticed her noticing me talkingto all the other chicks n making them laugh, (ps i was wondering if its a good thing that when i talk to her she always seems to remember everythign ive talked to her about in the past) but anyways at the end of the party i talked to her a little more then when i was leaving i saw her running to her friends car and i called her over to my window and i did my magic trick where i make a flower appear and she seemed really excited about that...did i do well ?

Ok so i guess earlier that night before performing my flower trick which she took well she asked my friend if i liked her because ive been talking to her alot more often since we met at his house n he told he didnt know but that i was a chill guy. He was too drunk to be aware of her tone so he couldnt tell if she was interested or not but now that shes onto my trail, i am thinking i need to avoid her so she wonders wy i lost interest the nshe can engage me...another DJ suggested however that i should start kinoing her up but i dont wanna start the kino to early n make her feel like im a pansy chasing after her.. what do u gusy suggest... i tried to avoid he rtoday but i accidently walk next ot her in passing period on the way to class and she waited for me n my budd and we walked by kinda ignoring her and she came after us and was like "hey!! i was waiting for you guys and she was just laughing about it"...hmm so yeah what should i do

 

[governor]

Dude, getting her number is not like asking her to marry you.
just walk up to her, and go, i've got to run, but give me your number, we should hang out sometime.
if she thinks you are into her and she's not keen, she wouldn't have taken this flower thing you do well.
you talk to her too many times withought showing any interest ie asking for her number, you'll dump yourself in the friend zone.

 

[PumpingIron13]

im pretty sure she can tell ilike her though and she hasnt avoided me

 

[governor]

Then that's good man.
ask for her number, or if you don't want to do that, just go, "we should hang out sometime" over IM. if she says yes, then ask for her number.
tell me how it goes.

 

[PumpingIron13]

thats what i normally would have done but with my past experience if i mess up with a chick its cuz i pest her n i was thinking the DJ thing to do would be to ignore her n get her to be curious about why im not attracted anymore

 

[governor]

yeah i get where you're coming from, but what do you mean by pestering.
just cause you've got her number doesn't mean you have to go calling her 24/7. get her number. don't talk to her for a few days (ignoring her) then call her and go, i'm doing blah blah, you should come along. whatever. then leave her for a week, then repeat.

 

[PumpingIron13]

yeah so i guess ill try to get her number i kinda hinted at it last night on aim when i was like hey i wanna hang out with u outsid eof school sober sometime and then we talked about working out and i invited her to working out with me but i got no number

 

[governor]

as long as your phone calls aren't any lnger than 15mins, you'll be fine.
have things to do.
if she's on IM, don't talk to her. if she asks why, say your doing work, and you'll talk to her later.
you said you aren't in any of her classes, so as long as you don't go searching for her, you won't have a chance to pester.

 

[governor]

did she say yes?
thing about not getting her number is, it forces you to drag out whatever contact you have with her, without going anywhere.
if you have her number, you can just go "hello, want to do something. cool. later,"
then do it.
it makes it easier to ACTUALLY set things up instead of always just talking about it and going nowhere - that is what leads to pestering.

 

[PumpingIron13]

shes still on away message....do u think i should IM her when she gets back..i think she might actually respon to a witty ocmment i made cuz her away said stairmaster n i said hey dont pull a muscle, im just worried about asking her number and then shed officially know i like her and immediatl be turned away where as avoiding her might cause her to wonder why im not the first to im her...i htink if i never imed her she wouldnt im me but im not sure.

 

[governor]

leave it there. how bout set your thing to "away." that way she'll get your witty comment, but will be unable to respond - even though she wants to.
that way your basically saying, i don't NEED to hear your response.

 

[governor]

don't just ignore her. that's rude. be unavailable. don't be on IM and just not talk to her. if your on, talk to her.

 

[PumpingIron13]

well i dont mena ignore but just not seek her out n stuff, wha do u think i should do as far as kino which is gunna be walking together to class?

And so ur positive i should ask for the number online and blow my cover?

 

[PumpingIron13]

she just responded while i had an away message up saying

"haha i wont..stairmaster i think is misleading caues its really an exercising bike but hey oh well"

haha what do u think man?

 

[stubbornlights]

Originally posted by PumpingIron13

And so ur positive i should ask for the number online and blow my cover?

Blow your cover?
Honestly dude, this **** isn't espionage. And no, don't ASK for her number... if you say it like
"Oh, I'd like to talk to you sometime, would you please give me your number?"

That's AFC. Don't be a chump.

Just be straightforward, don't equivocate, go for what you want. Hesitation is bad. So is equivocation. It can be simple, in fact even as simple as:

"Let's hang out. Give me your number and I'll call you sometime."

A year ago I was in the same situation as you. TWO MONTHS into the whole ordeal, SHE finally caved and just handed over her number without me asking. That's wussy. Just go for it, don't apologize or anything. That's a sign of confidence, whereas procrastinating and persistently insinuating that you want her number is pretty dumb.

 

[governor]

yeah i'm positive, and do it like stubbornlights said. "give me your number," or "whats your number,"
NOT "can i have your number."

 

[governor]

that's still asking for it, but it gives off a whole diff vibe than "umm...so i was thinking...you seem pretty cool and....i was wondering if its not too much trouble if...well, if you could give me your number...please?"

 

[PumpingIron13]

alright i guess ill take care of that when she comes back online, or maybe tomorrow at school would be better

 

[governor]

yeah she's responding well man, when girls get all girly about jokes like
that whole "its really an exercise bike but oh well," thing you're pretty set. she's interested.
yeah whatever feels better for you.

 

[PumpingIron13]

id probly come off as more aggressive n confident to ask in person