Kink-Friendly Discussion thread

AmsterdamAssassin

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I'd like to open a thread where members can speak about kink / fetish issues, both for themselves or their partners.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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From 1992 onward, I trained in Hojōjutsu (see the link in my sig) as part of my training in the koryu bujutsu, and I practiced the capture rope on my lovers, who told me that I was doing (some form of) shibari. So in 1999 I found out that shibari was based on Hojōjutsu and I followed courses in shibari. I sometimes give workshops in rope bondage basics and safety.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Kink is my niche, I don't date non-kinky women.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I don't know what's funnier, the image or the 804 five-star ratings.
 

SargeMaximus

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I’m not really into kink. But all my kinks I’ve lived already. Mostly just girls who aim to please and don’t want or need to get off but are there for my pleasure only.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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It's not a kink to like submissive women, many men do. And pleasers are everywhere.

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AmsterdamAssassin

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are you actually into Shibari? Any resources for better learning about it?
There are websites that show step-by-step shibari, but I wouldn't try that if you haven't followed at least a course in shibari basics and safety.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Just like "Impact Play", you want to know the difference in handling a belt, a riding crop, a whip, a flogger and a cane.
 

Rainman4707

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Be careful, i got a warning for creating a similar thread. I'm scared to share incase i get another warning.
 

Rainman4707

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the issue with that thread was about the graphic description of using force and borderline violence. Particularly without any sort of disclaimer about consent and instead just a bolded line at the bottom saying "This is how women want to be treated". We do not allow any content that condones the use of force/violence or may be construed to condone such actions.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Particularly without any sort of disclaimer about consent
OK, let me post this here:
Bondage / Kink is only legal if you have consent.
In the scene, two sorts of consent and safety acronyms can be found:

Safe Sane Consensual (SSC)

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

Within the Japanese bondage scene there's the concept of 'shinrai', which means 'trust' but like most Japanese words it covers a plethora of terms. Shinrai means a mutual trust where the rope model puts her trust in the rigger not to harm or cross boundaries, and the rigger does their utmost to be worthy of that trust.

SSC / RACK also go for all the other 'play sessions' whether it's impact play or pony play or breath play.

Any scenario or session I describe in this thread (or elsewhere, for that matter) is a consensual kink scene between voluntary willing partners.

Does that cover the 'disclaimer'?

Some of the things I do would be considered (domestic) abuse if they were not consensual. That's why I only play with consent.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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What kind of rope do you use?
I make my own hemp and jute shibari ropes.

I've already done the safety stuff for shibari. No problems there. It's probably just an experience thing. I just struggle to keep the whole thing tight without it being too tight.
You have to learn how to keep a finger under windings. When you finish a winding, you should be able to insert 1 finger and be able to run the finger between the skin and around the whole winding. Two fingers is too loose.

Also, discuss with model that she gives you proper feedback. I use (body part)+1 (FYI) or 2 (ADJUST) or 3 (UNTIE). So when a model says "upper arm left 2" I have to adjust the rope on her left upper arm without delay, but it doesn't need to be untied.
Beginning rope models can drift away on the endorphins and 'forget' to warn you their arms are tingling because it takes too much effort or they are afraid you will untie them and they like it so much. But they can say 'Arms 1' and you can check when you whether you want to adjust something.

I've already done belt, paddle and flogger. But really interested in the other.
I know about the popularity of the floggers, and the 'taboo' of the belt and the wire coat hanger (P!MP dynamic).
You need to be careful with the cane and use a light touch and not hit the same spot more than twice or the skin can split.
Riding crops are easy, most impact players start with one.
Whips are dangerous and require training and practice to use safely (making marks without tearing the skin).
Other items that can be used is the rat-tail (a kitchen tea towel twisted with a wet tip) and (gloved) hands.
Disclaimer: most women enjoy some light spanking of the naughty bottoms, but when using implements you need to make sure it's not an implement that triggers trauma. Some only want specific items made especially for impact play and don't want to play with common household items or the pimp dynamic. So don't just select an implement. You can also let her choose an implement from a row of items.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Thanks for the tips man, I've only tied my wife up a couple times and had to redo it a few times when tying arms together. I think starting from the hands and moving up to the shoulders would help versus the other way around too.
Research 'ushiro takate kote' or 'boxtie' or TK. "Tying the wrists behind the back". Fairly simple, 'single column tie' around the wrists, then leading the rope over the top of the breasts around the torso and tying it off.

Do you find that the models prefer your ropes over the silky ones you find at sex shops? They always looked too uncomfortable to me.
Sex shops cater to the fifty shades of bondage crowd.

Shibari riggers use twisted hemp or jute rope, and maybe when they give workshops they bring cotton ropes for the beginners (not as pricey). (Silk is good for 'thuggee strangle rope', but not for shibari.)

Or do you prefer that type of rope because you can cut them to size whereas specialty silky ropes can't really be cut?
Shibari requires natural fibre rope that has the friction to stay in place without knots. I buy raw hemp rope on a 200mtr roll and cut it to size and treat it for shibari use.
My lightly oiled and waxed ropes are dyed indigo blue (because that is the rope colour code for hardened criminals in Japanese Hojōjutsu) and the usage makes them soft to the touch, 'like worn denim jeans' as one of my models put it. You can see it in the futomomo leg tie in the photos I posted earlier.
 

Serenity

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the issue with that thread was about the graphic description of using force and borderline violence. Particularly without any sort of disclaimer about consent and instead just a bolded line at the bottom saying "This is how women want to be treated". We do not allow any content that condones the use of force/violence or may be construed to condone such actions.
I remember that one, it was very hard to interpret it differently. We have to consider how other readers might interpret it as well and yours was unfortunately way too easy to misinterpret.

So far this thread is acceptable.
 
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