"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Kind of ironic

KillingTime

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About two years ago I was the most hardcore AFC with this girl, I did every stupid girly think you could imagine. She would IM or call me EVERY single day though and we would talk for hours.. i would seriously hear from her EVERY day, but of course I was helplessly in the friend zone.

One amazing day she told me she liked me, but a few days later she changed her mind and was confused b/c it wasn't really "love" or whatever, blah blah I snapped like a little b*tch and that was the end of that.

We got into contact again a few months back... I'm no longer AFC. I slowly started flirting and being more and more sexual with her and she always responds in a positive way with some flirting of her own. The ironic thing is that now she never IM's or calls me like she used to, i'm the one that has to initiate it... but once I do she is always very flirty.
And on the plus side, she doesn't tell me about how hot other guys are like she used to two years ago, it's just flirting and playing around now.

so what's the deal there? On one hand i think, the reason she used to talk to me all the time was b/c I was like a girlfriend to her. On the other hand I still find it pretty ironic, now I'm the one that has to look for HER, does she not want to talk to me? If so then why does she react in such a good way all the time?
I don't like analyzing things so much (though i already have) so if anyone has been in this situation just give me a heads up if she has low IL or is just playing hard to get or what.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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johnny_chase

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Just stop analyzing, go find some other girls for now. Her IL is low, even though you say she's flirty. If you did get anything with her she would have the hand, because you always went to her.
 

The Rake

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Yes, it sucks alright. When you were her "girly" friend, she was in her comfort zone with you and she felt safe with you. You were her emotional tampon soaking in all her "problems". Now that you've ditched the AFC persona and has become sexual, she isn't comfortable around you (which is good as there's sexual tension now between you two) and she isn't sure what to make of it. Her thinking may be "how do I relate to a male friend who's now macking on me?". It's been said before here that it's hard to turn a friend into a lover. It's possible, but the odds are against you.
 

johnny_chase

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LOL, i did it once. This girl acted on impulse, and she still had a BF! She didnt see me for a couple of months, and then i showed up and i was mackin on her and she liked it. Now, she dosent know how to act around me, and is trying to figure it out for herself
 

KillingTime

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LOL aight that's cool, doesn't really make a difference to me if she likes me or not but it did have me confused.
Oh well, just another broad, i'll have my fun with her though.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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