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Killing the beta, proper frame and moving past games into game

zekko

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Any man who significantly weakens his frame to please a woman is no longer alpha. He's operating from a place of weakness. Allowing yourself to be completely controlled is as beta as it gets.
You would certainly think so, wouldn't you? But the reason I question it is you see so many examples of guys who clearly have a lot of options, who you would think would be alpha, but then it comes out that he gets whipped by his wife. It happens so often it makes me wonder.

Also, I've said this before, but I completely disagree that alpha is a mindset. I firmly believe alpha is a position. An alpha is the top dog, women want the top dog. PUAs came up with this "alpha mindset" business to mimic the behaviors and attitudes of naturals. I call this mindset simply a "masculine mindset", because (as BeExcellent pointed out) men should be in the leadership position - ALL men, not just alphas. Even a beta should be able to dominate a woman - as they did in the 50s, but today's men are so feminized that they are no longer masculine. Men need to aspire to be men again, then after that they can worry about this alpha/beta nonsense.

One more thing about mindset: You can believe you're a millionaire all day long, but until you actually ARE a millionaire, you're not.
 

Macaframalama

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Also, I've said this before, but I completely disagree that alpha is a mindset. I firmly believe alpha is a position. An alpha is the top dog, women want the top dog. PUAs came up with this "alpha mindset" business to mimic the behaviors and attitudes of naturals.
This is true. It's a hierarchy and any man, that feels he is THE alpha amongst his circle should be looking to expand on that circle and seeking out men who are better, than themselves and more proficient at their chosen crafts. Steel is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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You would certainly think so, wouldn't you? But the reason I question it is you see so many examples of guys who clearly have a lot of options, who you would think would be alpha, but then it comes out that he gets whipped by his wife. It happens so often it makes me wonder.

Also, I've said this before, but I completely disagree that alpha is a mindset. I firmly believe alpha is a position. An alpha is the top dog, women want the top dog. PUAs came up with this "alpha mindset" business to mimic the behaviors and attitudes of naturals. I call this mindset simply a "masculine mindset", because (as BeExcellent pointed out) men should be in the leadership position - ALL men, not just alphas. Even a beta should be able to dominate a woman - as they did in the 50s, but today's men are so feminized that they are no longer masculine. Men need to aspire to be men again, then after that they can worry about this alpha/beta nonsense.

One more thing about mindset: You can believe you're a millionaire all day long, but until you actually ARE a millionaire, you're not.
In this respect, red-pill is a double-edged sword - it rightly rejects conformity as the standard of reality [middle class mediocrity], and yet without a more solid sense of reality always threatens to become delusional.
 

ohrein

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You would certainly think so, wouldn't you? But the reason I question it is you see so many examples of guys who clearly have a lot of options, who you would think would be alpha, but then it comes out that he gets whipped by his wife. It happens so often it makes me wonder.

Also, I've said this before, but I completely disagree that alpha is a mindset. I firmly believe alpha is a position. An alpha is the top dog, women want the top dog. PUAs came up with this "alpha mindset" business to mimic the behaviors and attitudes of naturals. I call this mindset simply a "masculine mindset", because (as BeExcellent pointed out) men should be in the leadership position - ALL men, not just alphas. Even a beta should be able to dominate a woman - as they did in the 50s, but today's men are so feminized that they are no longer masculine. Men need to aspire to be men again, then after that they can worry about this alpha/beta nonsense.

One more thing about mindset: You can believe you're a millionaire all day long, but until you actually ARE a millionaire, you're not.
You're confusing belief with thought leading to action. As Pook says, think and you shall become. If you want to be a millionaire you need the mindset of those who have become millionaires. It will still require the work, but it begins with the thoughts that produce the actions. Same thing with depression. When I dug myself out of my depression, the first step was not to pretend I wasn't depressed, it was to adopt a mindset that wasn't negative. I cured myself of depression in the space of three years by thinking differently.

So you're right in that alpha is a position, but it's a position that results from a mindset. Naturals have that mindset organically for whatever reason. For the rest of us, we must adapt to it. You cannot act without thought. It's the same chain as actions, not words. You can judge a person on their actions because those honestly reflect their thoughts.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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You're confusing belief with thought leading to action. As Pook says, think and you shall become. If you want to be a millionaire you need the mindset of those who have become millionaires. It will still require the work, but it begins with the thoughts that produce the actions. Same thing with depression. When I dug myself out of my depression, the first step was not to pretend I wasn't depressed, it was to adopt a mindset that wasn't negative. I cured myself of depression in the space of three years by thinking differently.

So you're right in that alpha is a position, but it's a position that results from a mindset. Naturals have that mindset organically for whatever reason. For the rest of us, we must adapt to it. You cannot act without thought. It's the same chain as actions, not words. You can judge a person on their actions because those honestly reflect their thoughts.
I think everyone here would agree that one's subjectivity/ intelligence/ creativity/ self-determination is extremely significant [in the face of a world obsessed with pure objectivity]. However, I'd say the differences here come down to a belief in the power of positive thinking [Norman Vincent Peale] and belief in reality [faith]. I think this is an important distinction to keep in mind as the first can easily lead to self-delusion [perhaps the same thing] whereas the second has the power of thought rightly directed to its proper 'object'... which is a metaphysical affair.
 

ohrein

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Not just red pill, but blue as well and having the ability to float the spectrum on a situational basis. Living on one side of the extreme is unbalanced and homeostasis/baseline should be neutral. It is nothing and everything at the same time. Your non-negotiable terms and principles are your baseline.
True although you don't know what blue pill is until you have red pill knowledge. 99% of guys just are blue pill without even considering it. So blue pill is our baseline and almost every guy needs to move away from that side. It's just we tend to move too far away initially.

You could pose it this way - frame or game? I'd choose frame over game any day of the week.
There is no need to choose. One of the main problems I see on these forums is this constant reductionist mentality. Looks are all that matters, game is less important than money, etc. You don't need to pick and choose, you should incorporate all of it into your life because it's all valid.

I think there should be a hierarchy between them. If there is a conflict between game and frame, game defers to frame.... because life is about more than women.
Again, why does there need to be a hierarchy? Frame is underlying, game is your actions. They are linked inextricably and focusing on one over the other arbitrarily is like only working out your bicep because that's the "main" arm muscle. I view game as the holistic term. Everything falls under the umbrella of game and each muscle in it (looks, money, status, confidence, style, frame) are all part of the muscle chain in your body that keeps you upright. You should try to be balanced in all to have the best success.

I still think a trophy mentality is good, so long as it's seen as a byproduct of being the man you are and not the ultimate goal.
I think we all have that mentality no matter how much we try to suppress it but I do not think it's good. Having a woman as a trophy that can be taken away means you're locked into an eternal game in which you must continually win your "prize". This is the antithesis of game. For the most part I have eradicated that thinking but it still creeps up sometimes, usually when guys are impressed with the women I date. But the idea that they are impressed that I can have such an attractive woman is playing into the feminine imperative. They don't see my value, they just see hers. Ironically, this is why they won't ever be able to date the quality of women that I do. My girlfriend is a catch, but so am I and she recognizes that.

"I do not tolerate bad behavior, nor do I allow anyone to "try" and manipulate me"
Good! This is a lesson that everyone should learn for their life. I am open and friendly to everyone up to a point. But I do not get involved in petty revenge or anger. I simply walk away.

Without a man's leadership the relationship will naturally falter and fall away in time.
What do you think proper leadership in a relationship entails? This is something I've been thinking about. I lead naturally and pay attention when I'm being deferred to. I have set my expectations. Is there more? The overarching narrative? House, kids, jobs? How we spend our time? I'm sure many guys could use a more microscopic view of this idea of what leadership really is.
 

ohrein

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I think everyone here would agree that one's subjectivity/ intelligence/ creativity/ self-determination is extremely significant [in the face of a world obsessed with pure objectivity]. However, I'd say the differences here come down to a belief in the power of positive thinking [Norman Vincent Peale] and belief in reality [faith]. I think this is an important distinction to keep in mind as the first can easily lead to self-delusion [perhaps the same thing] whereas the second has the power of thought rightly directed to its proper 'object'... which is a metaphysical affair.
It's not necessarily even "positive thinking" I'm talking about, although I do believe that is effective as well. But I also come from Buddhism and so a central tenet of my existence is that life is suffering. But I'm saying more specifically that your actions generally follow your thoughts both consciously and subconsciously. If you wake up and think "I want to get things done today", you are much more likely to act. I'm not really making any metaphysical or faith based argument, I'm speaking directly and psychologically, that actions follow thoughts. "I'm hungry" will yield different results to "I'm hungry and I should get up and eat" which will yield different results to "I'm hungry, I'm going to get up and eat". Your thoughts drive everything you do and it's worth controlling them as such.
 

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, I'm speaking directly and psychologically, that actions follow thoughts. "I'm hungry" will yield different results to "I'm hungry and I should get up and eat" which will yield different results to "I'm hungry, I'm going to get up and eat". Your thoughts drive everything you do and it's worth controlling them as such.
Ah, but what about impulse control. that's where you question the thought, think about what is best to do... and sometimes the best thing will be to do nothing. Trump strikes me as a good example of someone lacking impulse control - he gets on a plane, reacts impulsively to some news, tweets, and wrecks the G7 agreement....:D

Preceding our actions is thought... which decides which goals are worthy to pursue. There is a hierarchical, aristocratic, or sovereign order to thought... it serves [or should do] to regulate our passions... our unthought thoughts or impulses. If game is the means to act on the impulse for women, then the frame of thought might equally aid that process as well as regulate/ constrain it. That's why I'm saying frame is distinct to game.
 
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ChristopherColumbus

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Which got me thinking about 'impulse control'. It might be thought a criticism of the above that the whole problem with the beta mindset is that their impulses are repressed and they lack that 'flow' state, or that spontaneity required in order to attract women. My response is that impulses are to be retrained not repressed... a higher order reason is the gate keeper. In the words of Eminem - check yourself before you wreck yourself.:rolleyes:
 
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That probably was a good post, but I'm not in the mood to read a novel, so I have no idea what it said.

Be alpha. Don't be beta.
 

Macaframalama

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I think we all have that mentality no matter how much we try to suppress it but I do not think it's good. Having a woman as a trophy that can be taken away means you're locked into an eternal game in which you must continually win your "prize". This is the antithesis of game.
Byproduct. And definitely not the anti thesis of game. High risk, high reward. Most ppl aren't supposed to stay in your life forever, in the first place. I'mfine with competing eternally. You think, once you get married you have to stop competing and playing the game? Scared money don't make no money, brother. Any of this can be taken from us in a split second. From your car, to your house, your girl and even your life. No one out here plays the game concerned with what they've got to lose but the losers themselves.
 

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Byproduct. And definitely not the anti thesis of game. High risk, high reward. Most ppl aren't supposed to stay in your life forever, in the first place. I'mfine with competing eternally. You think, once you get married you have to stop competing and playing the game? Scared money don't make no money, brother. Any of this can be taken from us in a split second. From your car, to your house, your girl and even your life. No one out here plays the game concerned with what they've got to lose but the losers themselves.
Interesting perspective and I don't necessarily disagree with you on a logical level. I guess that means it's a personal perspective I have in which I own my individuality, perhaps to a fault. I'm a Buddhist so I have no problem losing everything. That said, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to keep my relationship as the opposite seems ridiculous. I don't view her as a trophy though, she adds value to me rather than my status. It does inflate my ego but I don't enjoy that either. I don't view her as a symbol of any aspect of me, she's a person with whom I get mutual value from. But my value as a person doesn't depend on her continued existence in my life, nor does my ability to "get" her. I think if it did, I would begin to place her on a pedestal, much like you would a trophy.
 

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Are you content? What do you actually want? What do you expect from the women you're dating?

Is the way you're playing the game actually making your life better, or is there a greater purpose you should be seeking?


Not because this will bring you greater success with women, although it will, but because you need to remove yourself from the social conditioning in which your value comes from the women you're with.
One of the most important things I've seen in the past years from pickup is the consequence of girl power. That in a nutshell is women being cheered off the cliff.

Virtually no accountability. No responsibility. The pedaling of patriarchy by feminism when in fact, the only system in power is the one pushing the state for more power.


I don't think mod men know what they would do if they ever got the girl lololol


There was once prestige and value associated with a married man husband, and family.


Closings thoughts
I'm hoping for some discussion on various points here and will be updating the post as needed. I'm still digesting a lot of this conceptually and I'm sure there's gaps in my thinking. This post is in part me trying to understand it at a deeper level. But it's vitally important for guys to incorporate this meta thought into their game so that they can unplug correctly and have the relationships they desire.
Its never ending life journey.

I agree with Elliot Hulse. Mgtow only got nit half right. Men need to go into isolation, acquire presence, explore consciousness and self knowledge in the absence of women. Disassociate the world and the feminine biological strategy and cucks pandering to it like a dog for table scraps.

It's not just the toxic behavior of women that is normalized in our society and workplace. It's the lack of accountability of the men to hold women to it. What women think is acceptable now a days is absolutely ridiculous and laughable.

It's open debate on men. You cannot discuss women without screams of sexist or misogyny.

That's simply NOT A ARGUMENT.


Boundaries are key.
This is encompassing frame.

Flip the script. You can't tell me what to do or how to dress girl power nonsense is a no fly zone for me.

Attention *****? #nextset

IG ass pics = ONS/FWB/Netflix and chill!

Not on the mood? =#nextset

Son, this is just the top of the iceberg. Clarity is coming late for men but, better late then never.


You can set pace as I said. You lead. She follows. Any sign of ambivalence should be deemed as a dugn of high treason.

There's no ambiguity with women. High interest level is self evident. Your protein are doing the back stroke in her stomach and anus based upon said high interest level.

Toxic moods, ****ty attitude, anything but feminine is a deal breaker.

I don't repair what's broken. I just know that new girls are turning 18 everyday.

More importantly, a 1990s camaro isn't classic. You push it off a cliff
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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It is from personal experience that I can confidently state that without internalized game, you will ultimately fail. At this time in my life, I had red pill awareness and decent game skills. I was getting laid and spinning plates and yet, I still fell victim to ONEITIS. I hadn't properly killed the beta. (https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/21/kill-the-beta-2/)
The system in place is meant to be keeping you in victim status. At my late teens, I stopped searching, and thought that my journey was over. One of the hardest things to accept was ending a Ltr, and never looking back. Society hardwired the notion of completeness through a ltr, marriage, and bringing in the state.

Have my manhood card stamped by the validation of women through 'manning up,' swearing away my current and future earnings as well as sexual access in marriage. Of course, you can't be a man if you aren't pedaling to the feminine biological strategy. Lulz!

Killing the beta :

Alpha/Beta terms are thrown around a lot and I want to avoid the semantic discussions. So in this context beta simply means blue pill conditioned. A guy who tries to "win" the hearts of women, idealizes and desires women to the point of putting himself second, but more importantly, a guy who needs a woman in his life. It's my opinion that this last point is the most dangerous.

A big part of blue pill conditioning is the underlying subconscious socio-cultural pressure that men are defined by the women they can attain. Guys who don't get laid are losers, guy's who have their pick of the litter are the heroes. To quote Tyler Durden, "You're not your fvcking khakis". This idea that a man's value can be measured by the woman he is with is feminine imperative conditioning. Let that sink in. You think you're hot sh1t because you get hot women? What you're saying is, "my value comes from the value of the women I can attract". Doesn't get much more beta than that.
The incel freak out is a by product of the following point. It is much easier to acquire victimhood and to pick outrage. Contrary to girl power and retards pushing gender neutrality, victimhood doesn't get *****. Victimhood can still acquire **** because cucks and betas will pander regardless of the fact. I think most men are cannon fodder. They are basically utility and following the beaten path in attempt to seek validation. The push of game is not a actual lifestyle or pursuit but, a temporary means to an end to acquire the first semi decent girl.

It doesn't end well.

It is imperative that during your interactions with women that you consciously attempt to frame those interactions in your own head as something that does not define who you are. You must kill the beta and to quote Durden again, "Just. Let. Go." You are not the women you have access to. I know this is much harder to say than do as it took me many years to truly even understand it, and I still have moments every so often where I slip into old thought patterns. But you need to internalize this not only for your success with women, but more importantly your own happiness.

Proper frame :

Frame has become a bit of a nebulous term on this board. I think a lot of us understand certain parts of it, have even internalized parts of it, but are missing the overall context. Or at least, I don't see the overall context explained well. This is something I am guilty of myself. If I were to ask everyone to define frame, I think you would see a different answer from almost every person. There is a lot of subjectivity and personal choice in what an individual's frame is, but it's important to understand how frame is supposed to function at a meta level. So I've gone back to Rollo and had a solid think about it after some posts in another thread made me interested in my own understanding again.

"You are either operating in your own frame or you’re operating in hers. Also understand that the balance of frame often shifts. Frame is fluid and will find its own level when a deficit or a surplus of will is applied to change it." (https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/)
I am a huge fan of Rollo but, it's pretty ironic despite red pill awareness to get married. It reminds me of Biscuit from LS on keys to the vip proved to be a cuck but he sells pickup.

It's worth noting, everyone is seemingly a expert, may or may not have good advice but, always remember that, EVERYONE HAS A AGENDA.

David D's two steps forward one step back comes to. Mind. Fellas, I am listening and entertaining different sources but free thinking goes a long way.

Red pilled but got married... Interesting.


So what is proper frame? Frame is the complex set of values and expectations you enter into a relationship with. I will not tolerate cheating is an example of a value within a frame. There are an infinite set of values that could be within your frame and this is the subjective/personal aspect of frame. But where I see the most confusion around frame is how to apply the concept to actual women.

Do you force women into your frame? Do women naturally defer to it? What happens if women operate outside your frame?

Applying frame is simply not compromising yourself or you needs to continue access to a woman. You do not need to control every single interaction, a woman will not meet every single value in your frame, sometimes you will have to compromise or even enter her frame. But as long as you are living your life without putting the women you're involved with on a pedestal, you are exerting frame control. Frame becomes more important the longer you are with a woman as by setting frame, you must lead the relationship. You must be the captain. The individual details are unimportant, it's the overall meta-frame that matters.
Game recognizes game.

I run a tight ship.

It's important to set pace which IMHO is monumental to frame.


In a girl power society, there's this double standard of a shame men for not jumping through your hoops but, women can not be slut or fat shamed.

Again, it's a piss poor attempt to mitigate plummeted or cratered smv.

My favorite part is 'proud single moms.' or even more pathetic, the cucks that raise Chad's baby.

I blame low testosterone.

Games or game

It seems necessary when starting this journey that your initial foray into game is with games. It's important to learn the game by playing it. At some point though, as a few posters have been pointing out lately (@Macaframalama , @DEEZEDBRAH , and probably more), you must move past games into game. I'd call it mastery.

Game, as Rollo himself has pointed out, is actually an unfortunate term we've ended up with due to the implications and semiotic value of the word. You can't hear the word game without thinking about things like rules, plays, winning, scoring. While some of these do apply to dating, true mastery comes from something past games. You stop playing the game to impress people, to get high scores and to win. You play the game because you enjoy it. You're good at the game, you understand the rules, in fact, you've mastered the game to the point that parts of it are mundane.
It's something I wish I could tell my twenty year old or teenage self. There is no end point. Game is not a static level or place if being. It's dynamic, it's never ending, and it is elusive. You can be on top form after years of grinding, you can do everything right and **** it up. Get some skank pregnant get divorced having made the school boy error of marrying in the first place.

You can be like Rim, the blackberry, a game changer who failed to adapt, innovate and create only to go the way of the dinosaur. Marriage is the blackberry. It was once something great and failed to evolve along with all parties involved.

I think this is a point most red pill guys who put in the work reach naturally. However, I also think you can be aware of the ultimate goal and move more intentionally towards it.
What is your statement of purpose? I think in 2018, most men have no clue.

You see it in the soy boys, the progressive, low test, and pedaling of how evolved they are. Not an ounce of free thought.

No unique or original idea.


This herein lies the problem pertaining to DJ lifestyle, pickup, game etc.

Men following other men. Sure, seek out self knowledge, sources, info,and learn.

I will read the rational male, the game, a bunch of self development or biz books, Gita, talent is overrated, and a series of others. I will do like Anthony Robbins advice in Awaken the giant within. Take what works for me. Disregard that which doesn't.

This is game 101.

I found this being the reason why do many guys suck at game. They are following, torrenting pickup products, read hours, and yet, they're not beyond approach anxiety. This is delusional.

Instead of asking yourself if the plays you're making are how you win the game, ask yourself what winning the game actually looks like.
That is $$$$$$$! So money
 

Macaframalama

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I don't view her as a symbol of any aspect of me, she's a person with whom I get mutual value from. But my value as a person doesn't depend on her continued existence in my life, nor does my ability to "get" her.
Trophy may have not been the best choice of word, but men have always striven for the best in everything. Idk about symbol, but she is very much a mirror image of you. If you are a chit man, you are not going to keep a great woman. You may attract gorgeous women, but that in itself doesn't translate to quality. A man's self-worth shouldn't depend on his success or lack thereof with women, I agree, but if a man is failing in that department, he should be looking into himself to find out why. Goals, trophies, statuses, they are all good things for men to work towards. In the end, they are just symbols of achievement, but the drive, the determination, the ambition, etc are what make the man, when you take that all away. Mastery is an alpha virtue in essence. The experience and the failure, the lessons learned along the way are the real reward, but it doesn't hurt to be recognized or rewarded by your peers or even get to show off a little arm candy just for being a badass man. Who doesn't want to be proud of what they are pulling?
 

zekko

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So you're right in that alpha is a position, but it's a position that results from a mindset..
Well, yes, usually. No one is going to argue that having the proper mindset isn't a good thing to have. I'm just saying one is not necessarily the same as the other.

Does EVERY person with a millionaire mindset become a millionaire? I doubt it. Sometimes luck gets involved - bad or good. Maybe a guy is on his way to becoming a millionaire and a car accident takes him out. And maybe a guy becomes a millionaire simply because he was born into a rich family. Or had a smart friend who convinced him to buy into Apple early on. Or maybe he just bought a lottery ticket.

PUAs have built this perfect, flawless mythological creature called the alpha male, that couldn't possibly exist in real life - because no human is without flaws.
Alpha males exist in real life, but there's a saying: "Never meet your heroes". I doubt that they would all react as the community expects them to react. No one is perfect. I've known a lot of guys who were good with women, who nevertheless somehow got hung up on one girl, if only temporarily.

Michael Jordon used to be the alpha on the basketball court, until old age caught up with him, and younger players supplanted him. LeBron James is the alpha on the basketball court now, but his team has been swept by a pack of stellar but lesser players. It's the way of the nature that the alpha gets taken down eventually.
 

Macaframalama

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Michael Jordon used to be the alpha on the basketball court, until old age caught up with him
MJ has also managed to parlay his dominance on the court, his silhouette and his name into what has probably been one of the most successful brands in American history. He still currently has the biggest shoe deal in the NBA, so I'd say he's a force to be reckoned with, just not in the capacity of being on a roster.
 
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