"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Kids
- Thread starter Xanderson
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
forcerecon01
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RickTheToad
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bcude
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This is besides the point mind you, but the relationship you have with the woman you've kids with will change, not necessarly to the worse but it will change and most often not to the better regarding sex and all that.
I have three and here's what I can contribute or offer perspective on. Having my first kid was the best single moment in my entire life when that baby was born. It invoked feelings and emotions that I never felt in my entire life.
It's also nice to know that you have built a legacy that can carry on the family name and part of you. Having a kid or boinking some young gal is the closest you can come to the fountain of youth.
You have to ask yourself, are you good at follow through, discipline, patience, tolerance, understanding in general? Whether it be with gals, family members, friends because you'll need multiple amounts of that with kids.
As for being able to afford them, I wouldn't think too much of that as long as you're willing to put forth the effort of actually being a father. I see so many other parents(especially in upscale suburbs) that really don't know how to be parents. They just throw money at nanny's and baseball/ballet teachers so they don't have to deal with them. Children would rather have time with their dad/mom the most.
As for financials, I do see a lot of people worrying about this aspect and it ultimately prevents them from having them. People always think they need to have x amount saved or be at a certain point in their career to have kids. While this maybe ideal, it is only one piece of the equation. My $.02
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Plus people with kids just seem miserable especially those with early teens or defiant kids plus single mothers ...different headache altogether.
Well that is impossible since knowing women's true nature plus wouldn't wanna end up being in a tig of war with the mother or a once month only allowance etc
Well I would say it is difficult but not impossible. Just look out for motherly and just good human traits overall on how she treats you, her friends, family, and total strangers. Some girls just have a good natured streak to them naturally than others. Also see how she handles stress and conflict as this will be a big equation on raising kids. Her tolerance level will be important too. Like if you mess up on something or someone else does, does she blame you and get up in your case? Or is she understanding enough to acknowledge it and try to find solutions to move forward.
Couple great tests for any couples is if they can go on an international vacation together for some length of time and still remain together afterwards because often times, you end up running into a snag that both of you have to deal with and resolve. Same thing for major home remodeling projects. I've seen a lot of breakups happen due to international vacations or home remodel projects. lol
Basically finding someone that has good motherly traits, is a survivor, can be resourceful, understanding, tolerant, selfless, giving, patient, etc. will at least ensure your kids are brought up good regardless if you two stay together or not. At least you know your kids will be taken care of and raised properly no matter if they are with you or her.
Baibars
Master Don Juan
you must be prepared for the worst. The mother can really fck you up because she has most of the rights. But you must be ready even if things go wrong.
forcerecon01
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Anything in life worth having is never easy
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.