"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Kicked it with her over the weekend - now what?

Da Joa

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What's up guys,

I'm not new to the dating game or anything, but wanted your advice on a high school type situation. I'm currently a senior, and hung out with a girl who is a grade or two below me over the weekend. We have no prior history, except knowing each other through mutual friends, and dancing with her at a club once. Never really talked to her until Sat. night.

Anyways, we go to my friend's party. I'm using C&F, kino, etc. Long story short, we end up on my friend's bed with a few other people in the room and the lights on, she's letting me stroke her hair and rub her back. While I'm doing this, she gets on the phone with her sister and asks if she can spend the night, but her sister tells her she has to be home. She gives me a hug, I say "let me get your number, we'll hang out," she says ok. Gives me the number and leaves.

I haven't called her yet, and we have the same lunch period.. I usually see her at lunch all the time, but never talked to her. She walks by with a few of her friends, and we both pretend to be in the middle of a conversation so neither one has to make the first concession by looking at the other person. Kind of hard to explain, hopefully you know what I'm talking about. Basically playing it cool, non-chalant.

You guys think I should wait to call her this weekend and take her to another party, get her over at my house, or call her on Wednesday and say we should kick it over the weekend? With younger girls, (she's either a soph or junior), I know you don't have to go through a very complicated process.. I also have another girl that is calling me this weekend and wants to hang out, who is actually hotter anyway.

Nevertheless, I'd like to see how you guys would handle this.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Porky

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There's nothing wrong with being friendly. You guys had a connection, and you could blow it all by acting uncomfortable around her. I've done it, it sucks.

Call her on Thursday to make plans for this weekend. There's nothing wrong with dating more than one girl (or five, or six - ask Lik. Just don't date two bestfriends, believe me that never turns out well).
 

kevbo

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yeah joa, play it cool and actually have some conversations with her every now and then at school too.
 

TyTe`EyEs

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Da Joa, Kevbo and Porky both bring up good points. There has been too many occasions where i meet a girl at a party and never say sh!t at school because i'm trying to play it cool. The end result, the girl thinks i'm full of sh!t and some other dude scoops her up.
 

Da Joa

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Good points, guys.

Tomorrow, when she walks by and tries to act cool, I'll playfully throw something at her :p

Calling on Thursday sounds good.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jerky Boi

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Yeah, I would definitely call her again sometime. And also, if you run into her at school, just initiate some convo. It doesn't have to be long and deep. Some simple small talk would be nice. Just try not to act weird around her anymore. From the sounds of it, it looks like she'd be more than willing to go out with you again.
 

Da Joa

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Update: Sat down with her at lunch today, talked to her and one of her friends, kept it brief, set up this weekend to hang out again. Couldn't have worked out better, good calls everyone :)
 

Porky

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Stop masturbating.
 

LikRetsam

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lol...

Dating 5 or 6 girls (or 7 or 8 :D ) is not bad as long as they are just that. Dates. If it's not serious, as in you're not locked down with one, do whatever the hell you want.

Congratulations, I say this was an easy catch. Come your next date, don't jump into it demanding puzzy right away. Keep your cool, just have fun...

Lik
 

Da Joa

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Likretsam, what would you consider 'serious'? Making out a few times, or more? Where do you draw the line?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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