"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Kicked it with her over the weekend - now what?

Da Joa

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What's up guys,

I'm not new to the dating game or anything, but wanted your advice on a high school type situation. I'm currently a senior, and hung out with a girl who is a grade or two below me over the weekend. We have no prior history, except knowing each other through mutual friends, and dancing with her at a club once. Never really talked to her until Sat. night.

Anyways, we go to my friend's party. I'm using C&F, kino, etc. Long story short, we end up on my friend's bed with a few other people in the room and the lights on, she's letting me stroke her hair and rub her back. While I'm doing this, she gets on the phone with her sister and asks if she can spend the night, but her sister tells her she has to be home. She gives me a hug, I say "let me get your number, we'll hang out," she says ok. Gives me the number and leaves.

I haven't called her yet, and we have the same lunch period.. I usually see her at lunch all the time, but never talked to her. She walks by with a few of her friends, and we both pretend to be in the middle of a conversation so neither one has to make the first concession by looking at the other person. Kind of hard to explain, hopefully you know what I'm talking about. Basically playing it cool, non-chalant.

You guys think I should wait to call her this weekend and take her to another party, get her over at my house, or call her on Wednesday and say we should kick it over the weekend? With younger girls, (she's either a soph or junior), I know you don't have to go through a very complicated process.. I also have another girl that is calling me this weekend and wants to hang out, who is actually hotter anyway.

Nevertheless, I'd like to see how you guys would handle this.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Porky

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There's nothing wrong with being friendly. You guys had a connection, and you could blow it all by acting uncomfortable around her. I've done it, it sucks.

Call her on Thursday to make plans for this weekend. There's nothing wrong with dating more than one girl (or five, or six - ask Lik. Just don't date two bestfriends, believe me that never turns out well).
 

kevbo

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yeah joa, play it cool and actually have some conversations with her every now and then at school too.
 

TyTe`EyEs

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Da Joa, Kevbo and Porky both bring up good points. There has been too many occasions where i meet a girl at a party and never say sh!t at school because i'm trying to play it cool. The end result, the girl thinks i'm full of sh!t and some other dude scoops her up.
 

Da Joa

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Good points, guys.

Tomorrow, when she walks by and tries to act cool, I'll playfully throw something at her :p

Calling on Thursday sounds good.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jerky Boi

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Yeah, I would definitely call her again sometime. And also, if you run into her at school, just initiate some convo. It doesn't have to be long and deep. Some simple small talk would be nice. Just try not to act weird around her anymore. From the sounds of it, it looks like she'd be more than willing to go out with you again.
 

Da Joa

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Update: Sat down with her at lunch today, talked to her and one of her friends, kept it brief, set up this weekend to hang out again. Couldn't have worked out better, good calls everyone :)
 

Porky

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Stop masturbating.
 

LikRetsam

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lol...

Dating 5 or 6 girls (or 7 or 8 :D ) is not bad as long as they are just that. Dates. If it's not serious, as in you're not locked down with one, do whatever the hell you want.

Congratulations, I say this was an easy catch. Come your next date, don't jump into it demanding puzzy right away. Keep your cool, just have fun...

Lik
 

Da Joa

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Likretsam, what would you consider 'serious'? Making out a few times, or more? Where do you draw the line?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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