"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Keeping Your Cool When You're Into a Girl

PhatE1vis

Don Juan
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Looking for some tips and advice for maintaining my cool in the face of wild attraction.

I've been seeing a girl for a little while now - we started off as friends and evolved into something more. We have great dates, great sex, genuine fun - we click. We also both see other people.

I think I may be more into her than she's into me, and she's also admitted to putting up barriers so she doesn't fall too hard. I want to keep her interest going, and also gain back some of the power that I feel like I'm losing in the dynamic with her because I'm getting so into it.

I'm not interested in games, but I think I need to put a little distance between us to keep the chase going. Couple of questions:

-how much distance is enough and not too much? Right now we're chatting daily.

-when you're into someone, how do you find the discipline to execute on that distance? I've got a lot going on in my life (other girls, friends, work, hobbies), but my thoughts keep going back to her (yes, I have a crush).

Thanks, guys.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
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PhatE1vis said:
I think I may be more into her than she's into me, and she's also admitted to putting up barriers so she doesn't fall too hard.
Whatever. If she's going to fall hard she's going to fall hard. She has no control over it.



I'm not interested in games, but I think I need to put a little distance between us to keep the chase going.
Rephrased: "I'm not interested in games but I do want to play a game."


So back off and play it cool. You know she has interest. Now dangle her along and make sure she's coming to you. Don't call her all the time, don't see her all the time... wait and see if she asks you to do stuff.
 

PhatE1vis

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Yeah, you're right. It's game playing, mrRuckus. But I kind of feel like I need the distance for myself even more than I do for any of the game-playing outcomes. Just to re-establish my own emotional control. thanks for calling me on it though.

Georgey - ever disappear for a week? how did it work out?
 
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