"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Keeping Your Cool When You're Into a Girl

PhatE1vis

Don Juan
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Looking for some tips and advice for maintaining my cool in the face of wild attraction.

I've been seeing a girl for a little while now - we started off as friends and evolved into something more. We have great dates, great sex, genuine fun - we click. We also both see other people.

I think I may be more into her than she's into me, and she's also admitted to putting up barriers so she doesn't fall too hard. I want to keep her interest going, and also gain back some of the power that I feel like I'm losing in the dynamic with her because I'm getting so into it.

I'm not interested in games, but I think I need to put a little distance between us to keep the chase going. Couple of questions:

-how much distance is enough and not too much? Right now we're chatting daily.

-when you're into someone, how do you find the discipline to execute on that distance? I've got a lot going on in my life (other girls, friends, work, hobbies), but my thoughts keep going back to her (yes, I have a crush).

Thanks, guys.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
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PhatE1vis said:
I think I may be more into her than she's into me, and she's also admitted to putting up barriers so she doesn't fall too hard.
Whatever. If she's going to fall hard she's going to fall hard. She has no control over it.



I'm not interested in games, but I think I need to put a little distance between us to keep the chase going.
Rephrased: "I'm not interested in games but I do want to play a game."


So back off and play it cool. You know she has interest. Now dangle her along and make sure she's coming to you. Don't call her all the time, don't see her all the time... wait and see if she asks you to do stuff.
 

PhatE1vis

Don Juan
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Yeah, you're right. It's game playing, mrRuckus. But I kind of feel like I need the distance for myself even more than I do for any of the game-playing outcomes. Just to re-establish my own emotional control. thanks for calling me on it though.

Georgey - ever disappear for a week? how did it work out?
 
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