Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Keeping options open in LTR

Fireballs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2008
Messages
573
Reaction score
311
Location
Australia
How do you guys keep your options open whilst in an LTR without disrespecting your relationship?

There's a small amount of ONEITIS creeping in and apart from a HB5 I could bang anytime I have no other options.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
If your SMV is high enough you shouldn't need to actively "keep your options open". Options will simply be present if you are socially connected.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
638
Reaction score
72
Location
Houston, TX
Yea, stay socially active. Don't stop doing the things you were doing before the LTR. For example, I met my current main plate, who I am sort of exclusive with, at an open mic night where I played guitar. So now that I have a chick, it would be easy to stop going to play... But I go anyway. Sometimes she comes, sometimes she doesn't. But it keeps me in circulation, so to speak.

It's ok if she is your only source of pvssy, but she shouldn't be your only social circle.
 

Outlaw_

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 11, 2013
Messages
116
Reaction score
5
Fireballs said:
How do you guys keep your options open whilst in an LTR without disrespecting your relationship?

There's a small amount of ONEITIS creeping in and apart from a HB5 I could bang anytime I have no other options.
The better question is why are you looking to keep your options open? From your current mental position, you have 1 foot in & 1 foot out mentally & emotionally. To me, when I notice that I'm doing that, I should not be in a LTR. If I do that, then I'm settling. Meaning, I'm not ready to be in a LTR, but she wants to, so I say "Sure, why not?"

If I want to keep my options open, then I tell her "I don't want a LTR now" & suffer the consequences. Or I can lie to her & tell her you're the only one and go bang other women. As long as you're clear about why you're thinking this way, you're fine. If you're just settling, because that's what she wants/comfortable/etc., then that's not living life...IMO.
 
Top