"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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Think of a time when a woman showed no sign of interest or somehow disrespected you. Remember how lousy you felt and how badly it shook your confidence? Furthermore, notice how badly you feel when you reflect on it. Now remember a time when you picked up strong signs of interest, when women paid you compliments and notice your confidence rise.

I’d guess that most of us have a habit of generalising. So if you experience one or two failures, it’s very easy to lose sight of your successes, label yourself a failure and believe it to the point where you act it. So why not use this habit to your advantage, generalise your successes and lose sight of your failures instead?

Whenever you pick up a compliment, indications of interest from women or even just positive eye contact, make sure you record it! Write about it, write about as many of the past signs of interest and as many past compliments you can remember. Write about meeting ex-girlfriends too (though don’t record the break ups, mistakes, doubts or ANY negativity). What you should end up with is a list or journal that serves to remind you how great you are and how many women have shown you interest.

It’s easy to disregard anything positive, when it’s followed by a negative, but having all these in one place will help give your confidence a boost and will help you to generalise yourself in a positive way.

It’s a very simple idea, but one which I’ve found works very effectively in putting me in a positive mood, which directly affects confidence, which directly affects success.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jimbo2k

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Originally posted by Dirtheart
It’s easy to disregard anything positive, when it’s followed by a negative, but having all these in one place will help give your confidence a boost and will help you to generalise yourself in a positive way.
Yep, Very true.
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Good advice, Dirtheart.

Bump~

:cool:
 
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