"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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karma rocks

romangod

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KarmaSutra said:
My day was wonderfull!

I admire everyone here, especially his holiness from up on high, Mr. Tomassi.


Cheers! I agree......................... Karma rocks! :up:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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azanon

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penkitten said:
so let's all step our game up just a bit.
when you post something more insightful and thoughtful, other members notice it and want to hear more. they will begin to up your rep points with every good one you have.

we have always tried to have at least one little thread reminding others to continue to make posts that help others grow, and all awhile congratulating whomever just turned a new page (such as rollo and str8up and joekerr in the past)

this site is honored to have great members, who don't sugar coat life.
Gratz Karma.

That said, I think one has to keep this sort of thing in perspective. The world is quite literally full of people who have mastered the art of saying things that other people want to hear. The obvious example of this is politicians. Point being, if one wanted to make his/her objective posting something that would get the most positive feedback and green squares, that wouldn't be a very hard thing to do. For instance, I'd write an awesome marriage bashing thread, give everyone in the forum a positive even if they didn't deserve it (because people tend to reciprocate), and never make any criticism even if it was needed.

Personally, my style is to say exactly what I think, with little regard for how it'll be perceived by those less emotionally balanced. Since there is often too much real consequence to make it practical to do that in RL, I find it refreshing that I can do it anonymously online. Given my style, I'd be shocked if i ever get 2 green squares.

So, gratz for those who achieve it legitimately. But also gratz for those who are being real, even if its costing them 2 green squares by their handle.
 

penkitten

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congratulations to latinoman, for today he is the number one member for rep points.
he has made tons of wonderful posts, so if you missed some, just use the search button to find them!!

lationman rocks !
 

edger

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azanon said:
That said, I think one has to keep this sort of thing in perspective. The world is quite literally full of people who have mastered the art of saying things that other people want to hear. The obvious example of this is politicians. Point being, if one wanted to make his/her objective posting something that would get the most positive feedback and green squares, that wouldn't be a very hard thing to do. For instance, I'd write an awesome marriage bashing thread, give everyone in the forum a positive even if they didn't deserve it (because people tend to reciprocate), and never make any criticism even if it was needed.

Personally, my style is to say exactly what I think, with little regard for how it'll be perceived by those less emotionally balanced. Since there is often too much real consequence to make it practical to do that in RL, I find it refreshing that I can do it anonymously online. Given my style, I'd be shocked if i ever get 2 green squares.
I agree with everything you say here. Good post. Rep points to you for that.
 

edger

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Azanon, you also have to factor in that a lot of posters here, when they read a particular post from their "top" poster, they automatically regard that post as "truth". It seems a lot of posters let other posters define reality for them. I think a lot are insecure and not comfortable with themselves, in that they don't trust their own judgement. I think a lot of times too, they'll automatically assume that a particular poster "knows" their sh*t, because "everyone else" thinks that.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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iqqi

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edger said:
Azanon, you also have to factor in that a lot of posters here, when they read a particular post from their "top" poster, they automatically regard that post as "truth". It seems a lot of posters let other posters define reality for them. I think a lot are insecure and not comfortable with themselves, in that they don't trust their own judgement. I think a lot of times too, they'll automatically assume that a particular poster "knows" their sh*t, because "everyone else" thinks that.
Exactly.

Group think.

It's stupid. Don't do it! Think for yourself!
Reps to YOU, edger.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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this rep thing is extremely STUPID.

first:
sensitive d-bags will 'rep-' you many times because they have a great range of people so-called "arguing" with them, letting them spread out their 'rep-' easily.

second:
rep points promotes 'KBJs' to give advice.

third:
any person can talk out of their ass and use the words "brother, sister, insecure, reality, AFC, DJ, alpha and confidence" and make it sound completely SoSuave-like. just because you fancy up your sentences and spit shit out from the "bible"... well, i forgot where i was going with this. but point was, keep the fancy psychobabble to yourself... we don't need any "Dr Phils" pointing out the obvious and getting praised with rep points. (not focusing on one person in particular, and doesn't apply to everyone of course, just a generalization... damn! i guess i'm AFC for saying "no offense".)

sure, it's fine to give advice if you're experienced in that particular thing... but the people who have no idea or clue whatsoever giving advice straight from someone elses words isn't 'rep+' worthy. if THAT useless "advice" was 'rep+' worthy, telling someone "use the search function / read the bible" should get double 'rep+' for leading them straight to the source.

rep points are stupid.

aaannnyyyyywaaaayyssss...

this post took me a while to write... i better be seeing a rep+ soon.
 

penkitten

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Michele said:
this rep thing is extremely STUPID.

rep points are stupid.

aaannnyyyyywaaaayyssss...

this post took me a while to write... i better be seeing a rep+ soon.
why would you want them if they are stupid?
 

Gubby

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Congrats Karma! You're one hell of a good guy -- from my first opinions of you at least. Keep up the high level of consciousness :D
 

Gubby

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penkitten said:
why would you want them if they are stupid?
It's not exactly like they mean much anyways.

Rep is something like number of posts x quality of posts x whether you appeal to a mass audience or not (Señor Fingers, for instance, is both a great DJ and a great writer -- a killer combo.

Don't take it as flattery fingz :D)

So that's what it's telling you. You don't have to read into it any more than that.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Centaurion

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Michele said:
this rep thing is extremely STUPID.

first:
sensitive d-bags will 'rep-' you many times because they have a great range of people so-called "arguing" with them, letting them spread out their 'rep-' easily.

second:
rep points promotes 'KBJs' to give advice.

third:
any person can talk out of their ass and use the words "brother, sister, insecure, reality, AFC, DJ, alpha and confidence" and make it sound completely SoSuave-like. just because you fancy up your sentences and spit shit out from the "bible"... well, i forgot where i was going with this. but point was, keep the fancy psychobabble to yourself... we don't need any "Dr Phils" pointing out the obvious and getting praised with rep points. (not focusing on one person in particular, and doesn't apply to everyone of course, just a generalization... damn! i guess i'm AFC for saying "no offense".)

sure, it's fine to give advice if you're experienced in that particular thing... but the people who have no idea or clue whatsoever giving advice straight from someone elses words isn't 'rep+' worthy. if THAT useless "advice" was 'rep+' worthy, telling someone "use the search function / read the bible" should get double 'rep+' for leading them straight to the source.

rep points are stupid.

aaannnyyyyywaaaayyssss...

this post took me a while to write... i better be seeing a rep+ soon.
:up:
 

Gubby

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MacAvoy said:
I love it when AFC's neg rep you for showing them what idiots they are being. It shows their maturity.

I love it when people are not ironic.

I think.
 

DJDamage

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Rep points are much more weighed in as an indicator of popularity then of an indicator of a good poster.

I don't see a problem with it as long as newbies don't dismiss and ignore the posts of new members or those without rep points. Some advice may appeal to some members while alienating the rest and some posters can come up with a gem advice in some threads while give out sh1t advice in others (again its up to the individual to decide which is good or bad advice). As long as their is a civilized debate that generates a good discussion then it isn't a problem.
 

MacAvoy

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DJDamage said:
I don't see a problem with it as long as newbies don't dismiss and ignore the posts of new members or those without rep points.
I think newby's are going to listen to the advice that they want to hear.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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