"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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just watched vinny from jersey shore break every dj rule! haha

C

Chromeo

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"your so beautiful"
"im in love with you"
"im gonna go tell everyone i found my wife"

she goes "aaaawww"

at least he asked her number like a man

called her

"hey I need a sympathy date, will you do me that favor"
"ok i'll call you later"

of course she calls back and cancels ahahah dur

oh jeeze now hes calling her again begging.... holy sh!t, "i bought you really nice flowers"

hes so excited right now. guarantee he gets stood up
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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J

Julian

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pauly d's opening line was something close to "vinnys got a girl hes in love with hes invited an we're goin out to dinner, and so i decided to invite the girl Im in love with, and I figured you could come to".


in this situation pun intended pauly d was completely alpha/dj and vinny was the definition of beta/afc. it was a classic case of what to do and what NOT to do.
 
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