FountainEdge
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- Nov 13, 2018
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Hey! I recently found out about this forum from the Rational Male, a book which a friend of mine recently gave me after we discussed a few things about psychology. I'm not completely uninitiated, but my experience is still really really lacking. I hanged out in the PUA community for a bit a few years back (24 currently), but never actually engaged in it. In a sense, I'm a recent "unplug", and I'm trying to figure out my way around what's going on.
I have no idea currently where I want to head to be honest. I've read though the first volume of the Rational male and noticed that there are 2 more, which I hope to get around to. I also wanted to ask you guys if you can give me some basic reading points and some tips, both in terms of the inner workings and in terms of practical abilities. I'm not fully cure how much I can pull off, but I'm willing to at least try and see where it takes me. Any input would be appreciated (like, really, anything).
In terms of the specific situation I mentioned in the title. I'm someone who can hold up a conversation (not really sure to tell how good I am at it but hey!), but only when I'm with that person right in front of me. When I'm texting someone like on Facebook for example, I have a hard time figuring out where it's going, and I tend to mess it up rather quickly (as I've noticed via catching myself in the act or, in this unfortunate circumstance, in hindsight). I met this woman a few weeks back in a tea house, and we interacted 3 or 4 times when she wasn't around (she would work there on weekends). We started chatting after a certain point, but only as I was getting my to-go tea, up until a point in which we lingered while she made me a tea and had an actual conversation.
What happened was (and I'm mentioning this because it may or may not have relevance) there was this other woman who was serving which looked a lot like her, which I thought was her sister, which also told me her name. When I mentioned it she asked "how did you find out my name" and I said "oh your sister told me", one thing led to another and she asked "well, a lot of people say that we're sisters, are we really that similar?" and I said (without actually thinking about it) "well yeah, even though she's a bit thinner than you, you do have a lot similarities in terms of body shape and face structure". We swapped 3 or 4 phrases and then I left. When I got back, she challenged me somewhat playfully with "hey, you called me fat", I apologized like a gentleman and we started chatting about whatever, work, how great it was to be a student, and so on.
The next day I found her on social media and started chatting. I think I went a bit overboard though and said too much, and the conversation went cold after I asked for a song and shared one back (no idea what I'm doing lol). I think I didn't ask enough questions (even though I really wanted/want to, she seems like an interesting person) and I'm not sure what to do now (this happened yesterday). I figure I could start talking to her again, but I'm not sure how to go about it, as it feels like I'm going to get shut down immediately since I don't really have something specific I want to talk to her, but rather I'm just (genuinely) interested in her as a person. Any ideas of approach would be appreciated, and I'm also ok with giving up and just accepting she was a random person I happened to speak with a bit more.
A bit of general guidance to scenarios like these would also be appreciated (#resources), as I tend to do this quite often if it's someone that I'm really interested in.
Thanks! (hope this is the right way to post these kinds of things)
I have no idea currently where I want to head to be honest. I've read though the first volume of the Rational male and noticed that there are 2 more, which I hope to get around to. I also wanted to ask you guys if you can give me some basic reading points and some tips, both in terms of the inner workings and in terms of practical abilities. I'm not fully cure how much I can pull off, but I'm willing to at least try and see where it takes me. Any input would be appreciated (like, really, anything).
In terms of the specific situation I mentioned in the title. I'm someone who can hold up a conversation (not really sure to tell how good I am at it but hey!), but only when I'm with that person right in front of me. When I'm texting someone like on Facebook for example, I have a hard time figuring out where it's going, and I tend to mess it up rather quickly (as I've noticed via catching myself in the act or, in this unfortunate circumstance, in hindsight). I met this woman a few weeks back in a tea house, and we interacted 3 or 4 times when she wasn't around (she would work there on weekends). We started chatting after a certain point, but only as I was getting my to-go tea, up until a point in which we lingered while she made me a tea and had an actual conversation.
What happened was (and I'm mentioning this because it may or may not have relevance) there was this other woman who was serving which looked a lot like her, which I thought was her sister, which also told me her name. When I mentioned it she asked "how did you find out my name" and I said "oh your sister told me", one thing led to another and she asked "well, a lot of people say that we're sisters, are we really that similar?" and I said (without actually thinking about it) "well yeah, even though she's a bit thinner than you, you do have a lot similarities in terms of body shape and face structure". We swapped 3 or 4 phrases and then I left. When I got back, she challenged me somewhat playfully with "hey, you called me fat", I apologized like a gentleman and we started chatting about whatever, work, how great it was to be a student, and so on.
The next day I found her on social media and started chatting. I think I went a bit overboard though and said too much, and the conversation went cold after I asked for a song and shared one back (no idea what I'm doing lol). I think I didn't ask enough questions (even though I really wanted/want to, she seems like an interesting person) and I'm not sure what to do now (this happened yesterday). I figure I could start talking to her again, but I'm not sure how to go about it, as it feels like I'm going to get shut down immediately since I don't really have something specific I want to talk to her, but rather I'm just (genuinely) interested in her as a person. Any ideas of approach would be appreciated, and I'm also ok with giving up and just accepting she was a random person I happened to speak with a bit more.
A bit of general guidance to scenarios like these would also be appreciated (#resources), as I tend to do this quite often if it's someone that I'm really interested in.
Thanks! (hope this is the right way to post these kinds of things)
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