Long story short. I've been chatting with a girl. Just saw her photo. No longer interested. Needless to say, I feel guilty. I might just go out just to prove to myself that I'm not shallow but I don't want to waste my time either. But then again, there is the hope that she will find me physically repulsive (I haven't sent a photo yet). What do I do?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Just Saw Her Photo and No Longer Interested
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Face it, looks matter to you. Read the part of this article about the shallow effect:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=104343
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=104343
Luke Skywalker
Banned
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,434
- Reaction score
- 11
Why is she fat or something?Juan_Man said:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Call_Me_Daddy
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2006
- Messages
- 1,368
- Reaction score
- 7
That's what ecards are for. You just put her email and your name... and thats it.Juan_Man said:
I never knew that I was such a SHALLOW type of a guy until I began using the internet about 3 years ago and UGLY GIRLS whom I had been chatting with via MSN ICQ and YAHOO messengers E MAILED me photos of themselves whilst we were chatting.
I was SHOCKED at how UGLY some of these GIRLS were, I felt very SORRY for them and I wished that I could be physically attracted to EVERY GIRL on the planet, but I wasn't.
In my EVERYDAY LIFE I only ever really talk to and get to know the most attractive 30% of the HOTTEST BABES that I see, but I never really thought anything about that.
I guess that I just assumed that all of these GIRLS were VERY PRETTY until there photos showed me otherwise.
I felt very uncomfortable and AWKWARD about this and I didn't know what to say to the UGLY GIRLS after I had so very DEVASTATINGLY looked at their TERRIBLE photos.
Often I just had to immediately DELETE and BLOCK them off my messenger lists which I felt really TERRIBLE about, I don't know what I should have done in that situation.
These days if a GIRL messages me I ask her for a photo as soon as the chatting begins, which is the best way to go about it.
I often see other guys who can't attract the HOTTEST BABES walking around the streets, in shopping plazas, at the beach, or wherever in the company of an UGLY GIRL and I just cannot even COMPREHEND why they are with them.
If I couldn't win over a HOT BABE myself I would just buy an INFLATABLE SEX DOLL from my local sex shop and FU-CK that, as I could NEVER lower myself to dating an UGLY GIRL.
A GIRL has to be at least a HB7 or above to INTEREST me, I wouldn't ENJOY kissing, playing around with, nor engaging in SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS with a GIRL unless she was PLEASANT to my EYES.
THANK GOD THAT SOME HOT BABES DESIRE TO BE WITH ME. :yes:
I was SHOCKED at how UGLY some of these GIRLS were, I felt very SORRY for them and I wished that I could be physically attracted to EVERY GIRL on the planet, but I wasn't.
In my EVERYDAY LIFE I only ever really talk to and get to know the most attractive 30% of the HOTTEST BABES that I see, but I never really thought anything about that.
I guess that I just assumed that all of these GIRLS were VERY PRETTY until there photos showed me otherwise.
I felt very uncomfortable and AWKWARD about this and I didn't know what to say to the UGLY GIRLS after I had so very DEVASTATINGLY looked at their TERRIBLE photos.
Often I just had to immediately DELETE and BLOCK them off my messenger lists which I felt really TERRIBLE about, I don't know what I should have done in that situation.
These days if a GIRL messages me I ask her for a photo as soon as the chatting begins, which is the best way to go about it.
I often see other guys who can't attract the HOTTEST BABES walking around the streets, in shopping plazas, at the beach, or wherever in the company of an UGLY GIRL and I just cannot even COMPREHEND why they are with them.
If I couldn't win over a HOT BABE myself I would just buy an INFLATABLE SEX DOLL from my local sex shop and FU-CK that, as I could NEVER lower myself to dating an UGLY GIRL.
A GIRL has to be at least a HB7 or above to INTEREST me, I wouldn't ENJOY kissing, playing around with, nor engaging in SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS with a GIRL unless she was PLEASANT to my EYES.
THANK GOD THAT SOME HOT BABES DESIRE TO BE WITH ME. :yes:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She now wants my number. I don't plan on giving it out. As far as going out, I don't mind chilling for a little bit but I don't want to lead her on if she gets interested. What do I do? I could be like the girls that rejected me in the past but I know how much that sucks.
Mr_knowit_all
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2005
- Messages
- 384
- Reaction score
- 1
Juan_Man said:
Please, a woman wouldn't think twice about ditching your ass if she thought you were ugly. Tell the troll to go back to the ugly tree.
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
You should stop trying to run your love life from the internet, thats what you should do! get out in the real world, you can see what they look like before chatting!Juan_Man said:
there is alot of talk on this site recently about myspace and chat rooms for meeting women, it just wrong wrong wrong!
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
There clearly going to by ugly as well, a hot girl can land a great guy just by walking round the supermarket!
I now see the problems of online sarging. You have more girls willing to put themselves out there and more guys getting approached. I now enjoy being the guy who puts himself out there to possibly get rejected. It's much better than getting approached and having to turn people down.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Interesting point, maybe that's why girls have to "mature faster". They almost have to be ruthless.
Just tell her you're really busy & stressed out from work. Everytime she msn's/emails you. Problem solved. If she tries to console you then tell her you don't really want to be reminded of work. Then send a message like, "I'm sorry I'm just really not worth talking to right now" or "More work to be done, peace. :\".
It weans them off you because in their head you "honestly" could be that busy.
Let me just say that's hilarious imagining their disappointed, beastly, faces.
Just tell her you're really busy & stressed out from work. Everytime she msn's/emails you. Problem solved. If she tries to console you then tell her you don't really want to be reminded of work. Then send a message like, "I'm sorry I'm just really not worth talking to right now" or "More work to be done, peace. :\".
It weans them off you because in their head you "honestly" could be that busy.
Cowhead418
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2006
- Messages
- 55
- Reaction score
- 0
Don't let her dictate your life. I don't see the problem. If you are not interested, then tell her off or ditch her. Rejection doesn't always have to be limited to guys.
Chemistry
Master Don Juan
Why waste your time and money with a girl who isn't attractive... spend whatever you'd spend on yourself on doing something with friends, or a girl who is worthwhile...
I mean really... why would you pity date someone... I know I've got better things to do... just become a little more scarce on the net or put on her block every now and again so she thinks you've become a little more scarce...
I mean really... why would you pity date someone... I know I've got better things to do... just become a little more scarce on the net or put on her block every now and again so she thinks you've become a little more scarce...
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Option B is sounding better and better.Desdinova said:
You'll get over ditching a girl you don't like.
"I'm takin you off my buddy list b*tch! I hope you get a virus...you and your computer."
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.