"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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just had to break it off with a girl tonight

speakeasy

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It was awful. One of the worst thing I ever have to do. Especially when it's a girl who has been genuinely sweet to you, but you had to move on for other reasons. I've never heard someone cry so hard. Man it hurt to do that...

:(
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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intheRed

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Hey tough luck for her bro. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It sounds as though you didn't break it off because she did anything wrong though. What were your reasons for cutting her if I may ask?
 

seagull

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I was in that position for the first time last week, and like you, I had to drop someone who was nice, but due to other circumstances had to end it. I am usually the one who gets dumped and I thought that things were easy for the person who does the dumping, but now I know that it certainly isn't. It has changed my perspective on things, as now I can see what position some of my ex girlfriends would have been in when they broke up with me, and while that is all ancient history, it has helped me accept past events better.
 

armadon

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Telling someone you don't want to see them any more really hurts. I know people think that it's AFC to feel like that but whatever. I had to do that last night also and it kept me from getting sleep even though it had to be done. I'm still thinking about her this morning but I know she's feeling it twice as bad.
 

speakeasy

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intheRed said:
Hey tough luck for her bro. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It sounds as though you didn't break it off because she did anything wrong though. What were your reasons for cutting her if I may ask?
There were a few reasons, but I think the main reason is because she was too emotionally needy/clingy/insecure and I felt the pressure to take things to a level I was simply not ready for. She was deeply in love with me, and although I loved her, there was too much imbalance in intensity of feelings and I knew it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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