"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Just got home from a date

cfajason

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i met this HB 8 yesterday on the net and we agreed to meet today.

I took her out for some bowling and a walk in the park....She told me i was WAY to confident and ****y,and that was a turn off for her.....i was even stupid enough to try to kiss her...she pulled back...yes i tried the MAVEC stuff...lets say i suck at it!


When she stepped out of the car she told me to call her,because she doesnt call guys....wtf did she mean by that?

Should i next this *****?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Aisujin

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How about this. Don't expect anything from her. DO NOT CALL HER. And continue dating other people. If she calls you then, continue on. If not... NEXT. But from what you said it sounds like she's expecting you to roll over like all the other guys she dates.

The hotter the girl... the less amount of attention you should give her. It drives them nuts.

Good luck :woo:
 

cfajason

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Hmmm...yes she is very hot....i was considering to give her a call after 3 days....but u are right,maybe not calling her at all is better.Well i have another date on friday,with a HB6 we will see what happends there.But im conisedring to drop that C+F ****...it just doesnt work for me.
 

BigMike

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Originally posted by cfajason
Hmmm...yes she is very hot....i was considering to give her a call after 3 days....but u are right,maybe not calling her at all is better.Well i have another date on friday,with a HB6 we will see what happends there.But im conisedring to drop that C+F ****...it just doesnt work for me.
I only like C+F if it fits the guy and doesnt seem forced. I think it works well for those of us who are wise-asses eevryday of our lives.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Aisujin

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Don't force it if your not a wise ass. Just be natural like cfajason suggested. I think most people can sense when a person is being fake. Just don't suck up to her.
 

Aisujin

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Doh! I mean as BigMike suggested, not cfjason. Long day at wrk.
 

HereToImprove

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After a kiss rejection, I would say that nothing short of saving her life is likely to turn this thing around without you selling your soul.

NEXT.
 

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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After a kiss rejection, I would say that nothing short of saving her life is likely to turn this thing around without you selling your soul.
Not necessarily. With my last gf (who I went out with for 2 months), the first time we went out, she wouldn't let me kiss her and the next 2 times, she wouldn't do more than a very brief kiss on the lips. (I actually made a thread on this at the time, its called "Possible to 'speed up the process' with a 'nice girl'?" if you wanna search it)
Yet after about a month, I was fvcking her every night.

From what you said in the original post, i get the impression that she might have rejected the kiss for the same reason my girl did - she suspected i was a player and was basically testing me to see if i'd still be keen on her after it was clear she wasn't easy.

I also reckon she's testing you in the same way by asking you to call her.

Personally I'd call after a couple days or so, but only if you are genuinely interested in her. Cos you're obviously not getting any easy sex off her.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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cfajason

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Hmmm....im gonna wait a couple of more days before i call her...she had sent me an e-mail saying that she had fun yesterday.....Will let u guys know how things are going....as for mavec,yes i need to work on it a lot.....i will try mavec on every freaking chick i meet in the future;)
 

flexion_

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I don't think this went entirely bad. You probably just moved in for a kiss a little too quick. It is possible she didn't like you as well but I'm not sold on that.

The line about I don't call... just reiterates what we already know ... that you doing the calling and setting up dates for the first few - that of course shifts once you are kissing her. :)

I'd call her in a few days and just go have some fun. All the while don't put to much mental energy into this one either.
 

Sasha

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DO NOT CALL! NO WAY!

Let her call you. If she sent e-mail, it means she likes you. Send e-mail back, BUT A VERY VERY SHORT one. Like "yea, it was nice".

BUT DO NOT CALL HER!! If she dosen't call you, NEXT!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mrRuckus

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Originally posted by cfajason


.She told me i was WAY to confident and ****y,and that was a turn off for her....



Yet she sends you email and tells you to call her anyway.

Do not let up.
 

cfajason

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I just got a SMS from the girl....its said: Delete my nr. u over ****y a**hole!


WTF is her problem?I havent called or answered her e-mail and she does this.
 

flexion_

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Hmm... this was went down the AW/drama queen road - that was pretty fast. I'd suggest taking her advise and deleting her number. Don't try and figure it out - you'll just bang your head against the wall.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

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