Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Just get 2-3 hobbies, hit the gym, and go out sometimes. That's it.

handle

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Serious. Just have stuff that you love doing, stay in shape, and then most of these natural "DJ" characteristics will come with it. No more wondering when to get back to her -- you just do it when you can squeeze it in. No more looking for girls everywhere -- you meet them because you're outgoing.

I wonder if the unsuccessful people on these forums have tried actually changing their lifestyle rather than fretting over whether to stay with this girl, or whether to talk to that girl... If you were just chillin out being a cool guy you wouldn't be worried about it.
 

J Roc

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I've texted her 5 times over the last week and she hasnt responded back. should i start stalking her?
 

HalfAddict

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I am on the self improvement path again.. I am already a member of a boxing gym, looking to pick up[a membership to a 24/7 fitness center very soon. I am looking to take dancing lessons too since I cannot dance and the extra footwork cannot hurt. Outside of that I have been seeking a hobby to occupy my time and get me away from the PC more.. I may take up painting and art again, I have a few projects in my head.
 

PapiChulo

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Hate to sound negative, but that is only one half of what it takes and not even the first half that actually attracts women. It is money/status, looks, attitude, personality, followed by everything else.
 
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nismo-4

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Judge nismo will close this case quickly.

Get physically and financially fit. You should have hobbies outside of women anyway.

Case closed.
 

Iceberg

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PapiChulo said:
Hate to sound negative, but that is only one half of what it takes and not even the first half that actually attracts women. It is money/status, looks, attitude, personality, followed by everything else.
I disagree.

I came to this site at 18 or 19 years old, skinny, awkward, and clueless about women.

Step 1: I started working out...because if I'm gonna have a sh*t personality, I might as well look good. Next thing I know, chicks at work are talking about Iceberg and his muscles.

Step 2: I started writing more. Writing was always my hobby....I let it become my passion. Now I write professionally. Not a bad way to earn a check.

Step 3: I started taking guitar lessons. Not to get girls, but because I have a curious mind, and this was a cool way to challenge myself. After 6 years of guitar lessons...I'm pretty decent.

Step 4: I started traveling more. Not with women. Not for women. I just wanted to see more of the world. And no, I'm not rich.

So now, I'm 30. It's 10+ years later and the girls who date me can say "I'm dating Iceberg...a guitar-playing professional writer with biceps and abs, who loves to travel."

Personality and looks are a part of the image I'm selling to women these days. But it's not like it was something I was naturally gifted with before I started putting work into the other aspects of my life.

Being wealthy and having God-gifted good looks is ALWAYS helpful...but it's far from a necessity.
 

st_99

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handle said:
Serious. Just have stuff that you love doing, stay in shape, and then most of these natural "DJ" characteristics will come with it. No more wondering when to get back to her -- you just do it when you can squeeze it in. No more looking for girls everywhere -- you meet them because you're outgoing.

I wonder if the unsuccessful people on these forums have tried actually changing their lifestyle rather than fretting over whether to stay with this girl, or whether to talk to that girl... If you were just chillin out being a cool guy you wouldn't be worried about it.

This is a big part of it no doubt BUT you STILL need to know how to
be "good" with women, you still need seduction skills, you still need to
know the game, etc.. for long term success.

So its both.
 

st_99

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Espi said:
Certainly can't HURT to have hobbies and a sculpted physique.

AND

Certainly can't HURT to have a little bit of game knowledge.
exactly, its all important.
 

wilford

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J Roc said:
I've texted her 5 times over the last week and she hasnt responded back. should i start stalking her?
:crackup:
 

handle

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To those saying you still need to "learn game" -- sure, true to an extent. But by going out and pursuing your passions, picking up new hobbies, and so on, you'll probably implicitly learn a lot about vibing with people in social situations. And you'll be an interesting guy as a result of all you do. Think of Iceberg's post: he probably met lots of people, put himself out there, and gained a lot of "game" advantage on the side when he was pursuing all those activities (as a _side_ benefit!).
 

x86

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J Roc said:
I've texted her 5 times over the last week and she hasnt responded back. should i start stalking her?
Lol @ almost me from 2006. Glad I got that **** straightened out :rock:
 

DrPhysique

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I wish I could do all of that. I'm in physics and it's tough enough being able to the gym. I really need to be better at managing my time, I procrastinate way too much (yes, I'm on this site right now saying this...)

You guys are lucky, my life is like schoolwork + gym and I might go out once a week. I'd probably go out more if I lived in a big city, though.

If I could have hobbies, it would be a form of martial art, hockey, practice music a lot more and gym of course. Oh well! haha
 

backbreaker

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I've texted her 5 times over the last week and she hasnt responded back. should i start stalking her?
of course

To those saying you still need to "learn game" -- sure, true to an extent. But by going out and pursuing your passions, picking up new hobbies, and so on, you'll probably implicitly learn a lot about vibing with people in social situations. And you'll be an interesting guy as a result of all you do. Think of Iceberg's post: he probably met lots of people, put himself out there, and gained a lot of "game" advantage on the side when he was pursuing all those activities (as a _side_ benefit!).
You have a very good point of view and I agree wholeheartdly.

It's like, a lot of people are acting like they have to have a masters degree in women before they can go start living life. That's not how it works. You learn **** by doing. There is a difference between coming here, posting to learn hwere you messed up so you won't do it again, and coming here to avoid mistakes altogether which is what I get the sense too many people do nowadays.

The best way you can learn, is to go out and fvck up.

lol, you are going to fvck up now, or you are going to fvck up later. There is no getting around fvcking up. It's gonna happen. Readingt this forum and then putting it to use is like spending years in the army reserve, then being called into Verdun in World War 1 lol. There are just going to be some things you aren't prepared for.

But nothing is stopping you from going out and trying to build the life you want to have today. You gotta start somewhere. And it's best to start with some hobbies, take care of yourself physically, learn how to half ass dress yoruself.. who the fvck cares that you don't have 10 plates that are all Hb9's right now. right now you are jacking off to asian porn on the internet. Baby steps.


Alot of this stuff, you learn by default when you go in the field. When I first got really serious about talking tow omen, i went and tried to get 100 rejections starting on my 21st birthday, i never got close to 100 and had a phone full of numbers, stuff like, when do i call back, how do I act busy, that's stuff that you don't even have to ask because you ARE busy. You call when you freaking can lol. You are not going to bother with the girl that flakes on you 2 times beucase you had 2 other girls that would not mind spending the night with you and you aren't going to give this one the time of day. And all that comes from just working numbers.

I had more sex in my first 6 months of being 21, then i have had in the the previous 20 years, plus the next 2 years of my life until i met my now wife, combined, and I don't think it's even that close. was bagging seriously 3 or so women a week at one point. got ot the point they were bringing their friends over and i would bag them lol. this was al'l when I was new to game. I wasn't anywhere near the level I am now as far as understand women, all that was just pure "go out and get it". was in shape, had a nice wardrobe, kept my place clean, kept me clean, drove a decent car, was confident because i knew i wsas never more than a phone call away from a female.

as i got older, i go to the point that, sex just for the sake of sex got kinda old, and i would rather spend 2-3 plates and then do my own personal thing in life than just spend all my time fvcking or trying to fvck.

but having a life, being in good shape, clean yourself up, and get some balls and just start approaching women. you won't be perfect, i was far from it. but i wanted to get laid lol. i made plenty of mistakes. i got used, i burned bridges, i did a lot of dumb stuff, but you know what, it was fun, I learned, and most importantly, i was getting laid in the process.


do you understand just how easy it is go at that chick at bath and body works and say "hey look i saw you over there and i normally don't do this (bull****) but you are so stunning and i just have to have your phone number so I can take you out tomorrow night" and pull out your phone and make her say no to you? you will be shocked how many times she says yes.


actually, i was in the, where was i, oh target 2 nights ago, toletriy/personal man **** shopping, and there was this black chick, young, maybe 19-20,and she had a smile on her face and i have a thing for the expensive lasguna that they sale, so I had some in my cart and she looks it and looks at me and says "you gonna eat it by yourself" and i said "you want to join me" and she just blushed... done right then in there. it's that easy. stay in shape, keep yourself up, have a life that doesn't get you down all the time so you walk around feeling pretty good about yourself, teh women will notice.

i told her i was just playing and that i was married and she said "see you shouldn't even be playing with me like that".. she WAS WAITING ON ME TO HIT ON HER. i was just doing that out of instinct. i instinctively game *****es lol. I'm a flirt, way worse than my wife is.

hell there was a time I was fresh out of drug rehab, I made my mom take my car for the first 3 months out of rehab so I couldn't go anywhere on my own, as well as my debit/credit cards and put restrictions on my bank account and i made her give me 300 dollars a week, and i lived in a rehab facility, and i was freaking going on 3-4 dates a week. lol, hell i was walking to dates i bull**** you not. I was having girls pick me up from the rehab place to go to dates lol. could care less, and they don't either. that time in my life showed me just how little money mattered when it came to having sex. I mean, it helps, but ****. I'm in the zoo making out with a HB7 that I walked to to the zoo to go see. I had a girl so crazy about me (at this point, i had even stopped telling girls I had a little money or I actually had a car), she would drop her car off at the rehab place so i could use it, let me take her to school (she was in college) and i would pick her up and we would go to her place or go out afterwards. girl was crazy about me and here i am no car, supposedly no money. i would walk to the gym everyday and walk home. i walked everywhere. i didn't get my car back until damn near 5 months clean. Mind you, it was my car, i would not LET me have it back until I was 5 months clean, i wasn't ready for it.

the more you talk to women, the more comfortable you will become aorund them, the more leeway you will have. when i first started to talking to women, it's like i would look for the first sign of rejection and then head out. I remember, one partaricular pick up which was probably one of my best in my personal history, with the help of about 20 mr. budweisers lol, there was this smoking hot HB 8.5-9 that I actually went to high school with that i ran into at a bar with a friend of mine. I asked for her number, she politity shot me down, and for some reason, that night i just wasn't taking no for an answer. In a joking manner i was like "no, see this is what's going to happen. your gonna give me your number, we are going to go out and kick it, and dammit you'r gonna like it". is really doing it to be funny in front of my friend but i'll be dammed if she didn't reluctantly come around. I could tell she was thinking about it so I said "look stop playing around give me your number" and pulled my phone out and bam. turns out, it wasn't me she rejecting, she had an on and off again BF and once i showed a tad bit of persistence, she gave in. that type of game is nothing a forum, a website or anything can prepare you for, that's just having the battle scares of dealing with approaching women and learning how to feel them out.

I went on one date with her and she went back to her BF but that's not the point. I was very proud of myself that night and in general. And when i say she was HOT, she was HOT. a girl iwould jack off to a year ago here i am holding hands with and peteting on a date. and while we didn't work out she told her friend some good things about me and i ended up smashing her a few times.

NOT ONLY is it not hard to get dates, you have good looking women practically BEGGING for men to come along, confidently ask them out and do **** with them. do you realize how many guys just freaking suck? HOW MANY beta males a woman has to put up wtih on a daily basis? how many guys refuse to tell a woman her **** doesn't stink, how many guys have no creativity, no personality, and how women get wet and tingly all over dreaming, hoping, praying a real man would come along, a confident, daring, handsome man? (that's why I am purposely bold in my approaches, the bolder the better)be that man. it doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have, rather you are george clooney or brad pit you are the fvcking **** because you live life as you wish to live it, taking no prisoners on a daily basis. fvck it should be your daily motto. I'm blessed to be pretty well off and have some things that i have always wanted, but that's not why women find me attractive. I'm attractive because i am the ****, and I know i the ****. Everything I do, screams I'm the ****. and women want to be with the ****. starting today, you need to stop talking about it and being about it. whatever "it" is to you, you need to be that.
 
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blueeyedgent

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Music is a great hobby. Every time I get a girl back to my place in front of my guitar, its game over LOL. :woo:

Last night I had a plate flake on me after a couple weeks of missed chances to get-together. Hot bartender at my buddy's strip club (he's the owner). It felt ****ty for the 30 seconds it took for me to walk over to my guitar "Gretchen". Played her for a good 2 hours, felt great! :rockon:

Do the hobbies FOR YOURSELF, but all the better if you have a hobby that broad appeal to women and helps dig you out of the dumps.
 

handle

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DrPhysique said:
I wish I could do all of that. I'm in physics and it's tough enough being able to the gym. I really need to be better at managing my time, I procrastinate way too much (yes, I'm on this site right now saying this...)

You guys are lucky, my life is like schoolwork + gym and I might go out once a week. I'd probably go out more if I lived in a big city, though.

If I could have hobbies, it would be a form of martial art, hockey, practice music a lot more and gym of course. Oh well! haha
Not bashing on you or anything but I'm in math, it's hard as ****, and I find the time (even if everything else does go on hold for finals). I used to let the coursework kill me but now my attitude is more like "ok, I have a lot to do so there's no excuse for procrastinating". Try it out, just tell yourself you will find the time for one of those things you love and stick to it. You'll work a little faster to make up for that few hours a week you spend on music or whatever.
 

DrPhysique

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handle said:
Not bashing on you or anything but I'm in math, it's hard as ****, and I find the time (even if everything else does go on hold for finals). I used to let the coursework kill me but now my attitude is more like "ok, I have a lot to do so there's no excuse for procrastinating". Try it out, just tell yourself you will find the time for one of those things you love and stick to it. You'll work a little faster to make up for that few hours a week you spend on music or whatever.
Ah, don't worry, I've done a lot of things to try and overcome this. I'm actually in the middle of making myself a schedule for every hour of each week next semester. All divided like this: courses, homework/studying/reviewing time, tutoring/lab demonstrator, gym, practicing music and nights I can go out. I hope it works out. haha
 

backbreaker

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DrPhysique said:
Ah, don't worry, I've done a lot of things to try and overcome this. I'm actually in the middle of making myself a schedule for every hour of each week next semester. All divided like this: courses, homework/studying/reviewing time, tutoring/lab demonstrator, gym, practicing music and nights I can go out. I hope it works out. haha
hour lol? i break my daily schedule up into 2 mintue intervals. you will be surprised at how much time a person wastes on a normal day

I did some calculating like 2 years ago and figured i was wasting 3 hours a day on nothing. just gone.
 

Alex DeLarge

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Not to talk down on your idea here, but I all ready do this. Just started working out recently.. But I play music with 3 different bands, go to college, am ALWAYS out on the weekend (very social might I add) and I still can't manage to get laid or keep a girlfriend.

Perhaps part of it might have to do with the fact that I'm 22 and a virgin when almost everyone around me has had over 20 sex partners by now. I do feel a bit intimidated by it. What do you suggest?
 

FairShake

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Meh, I really don't think girls give that much of a sh!t about what hobbies you have. They certainly won't make or break the deal. I suppose they are useful to keep you busy but they are pretty much fringe things, not the main idea.

I'd say look good enough, make them laugh or have fun, and try hard in the sack. That's pretty much all there is to it. This "act like a bad boy" nonsense can ONLY happen if you have those three mostly or totally covered.
 

zekko

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FairShake said:
Meh, I really don't think girls give that much of a sh!t about what hobbies you have. They certainly won't make or break the deal. I suppose they are useful to keep you busy but they are pretty much fringe things, not the main idea.
With a lot of hobbies though, you meet people as you go about doing them. So if you go about following your interests, chances are more women are going to come into your circle. And your chances of forming stronger connections are better with people who share your interests (male or female).

Of course it depends on what the hobby is, and how much of a social component there is to it. If you're in a rock band you're going to meet people. Backbreaker met a lot of people through his horse racing interest (met his wife in fact, I believe).

Also, a lot of times a woman will embrace a guy's interests when she meets him. It helps him form a more solid identity. I know a guy who was big time into climbing, he met a girl. This girlfriend followed his lead and took it up also. Now they're married and go to climbing festivals and hang out with climbing people together. It's like she found a whole new world when she met him, and she did really.
 
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