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Just finished reading "What do Women Want?: Adventures in the science of Female Desire"

In2theGame

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Anyone read this book? "What do Women Want?: Adventures in the science of Female Desire" by Daniel Bergner.
It was pretty interesting. The book contained a lot of fluff but brought to light what I already suspected.

  • Women are the LESS monogamous sex.
  • Women are disconnected to their arousal.
  • Women get bored of their partners much sooner and desire another Man.
  • Women are extremely kinky and sexual but suppress due to social conditioning and shaming.
  • Women got turned on most when a Man lost control of himself with a deep lust for her.

An experiment was done on Women, where a device was placed inside their Vagina's to detect arousal and wetness. They showed Women various sexual short clips of Men with Women, Women with Women, Men with Men, Women masturbating alone, A Man walking naked, etc. Even Monkey's fvcking. These Women responded with saying they hardly found any of these arousing yet the device was picking up a lot of arousal and wetness. This concluded that what Women were saying was completely different than what actually aroused them.

A female Viagra was being developed so that Women in long term relationships and dead marriage bedrooms would maybe spark their arousal but failed, which meant Women could not feel excited from their current partners after being with them for a long period of time. Women got most aroused and excited when the Man was "new" or a "stranger". If I remember correctly, there was fear for creating a female arousal pill so effective that it would cause a society full of horny Women that would not be able to contain their sexual urges. Pretty much Women fvcking everywhere.

Ultimately it seems Women themselves dont fully understand their own sexual selves or at least hide it as to not be shamed. In overall words, Women love to fvck.


Here is a reviewer from "Goodreads" that I thought was pretty good.

"In university, I once overheard a couple of female friends talking about guys. One was trying to get the other to set her up with somebody. There was the usual question: ‘Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?’ My one friend hemmed and hawed for a minute, and then said, ‘Oh, who am I kidding? I just need to get fvcked.’

It was an eye-opening moment for me (granted, I was a pretty clueless 19-year old.) On one level, it was liberating to realize that women could be driven by the same imperious desires as men. On another level, it was kind of terrifying. And I think most men, if they’re honest, would admit to some ambivalence about female sexuality. We’re uneasily aware that there’s this powerful force out there that affects our lives in all sorts of ways, for good and ill, but we can’t even begin to understand it.

If there’s one consolation here, it’s that women themselves don’t understand it either. Or so says Daniel Bergner in this poppy but fascinating little book. In one of the more prurient experiments he summarizes, female subjects were shown a range of porn—gay, straight, animal, whatever—while hooked up to vaginal sensors that measured their state of arousal. When the women were asked which scenes turned them on, their answers wildly diverged from what the sensors were indicating (‘Nope, sorry, that bit with the monkeys didn’t do anything for me.’) Whereas, when men were shown the same clips, their reported reactions closely matched the sensor readings. So what’s going on here? Why do women apparently misconstrue what their own bodies are telling them? The sexologists don’t rightly know. It could be an effect of sociocultural repression. It could be some kind of psychosomatic disconnect between loins and brains. Or maybe women just don’t like having scientists mucking around in their lady bits.

My guess is that this book will make a lot of female readers feel a little better about themselves, a little less weird and ashamed. On the other hand, it’s going to freak out some male readers, especially those in long-term relationships. There’s emerging evidence that, contrary to popular belief, monogamy may be even harder on women than it is on men. Not that monogamy is necessarily wrong – just that its costs are very high and, for many women, simply intolerable. In that respect, What Do Women Want? is a surprisingly melancholy book. There are threads of sadness and desperation running through it. It’s a vivid reminder, in case you needed it, that life is tough, even for the luckiest among us.

Here’s my own two-bit theory, cobbled together out of Freud and failure: you’re never going to be satisfied – not for long, and probably only in retrospect. A Korean proverb goes: get married and you’ll regret it, stay single and you’ll regret it. Sounds about right. What Plato called ‘the pursuit of the whole’ takes place down here, in the realm of the incomplete, among the half-assed. Frustration is the norm.

As I see it, this isn’t an invitation to cynicism. It’s an invitation to acceptance. In the ordinary course of things, there’s no mingling of souls. There’s Chinese takeout and perfunctory sex. And that’s still pretty good, isn’t it?"
 

Mauser96

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Just ordered it from the library, thanks for the heads up.
 

flowtheory

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Interesting. Really good reviews.

I do believe relationships are quite startling; if we only knew half of what the truth was between women’s ears.

Also, relationships are doomed from the start. More accurately at least a couple days before. I’ve read so much online and talked to a vast amount of people, and it seems like there really isn’t satisfaction to be found in the enterprise of intimate relationships. Truly. It is fleeting. And we do just chase moments. There are always pieces missing and people focus on what isn’t there generally, as opposed to what is. The quote from the review hit the nail on the head “you’re never going to be satisfied – not for long, and probably only in retrospect”.

I mean, the above quote is exactly why people come crawling back after a relationships demise. Like my ex. Both of them. And like the song: you never know what you have until it’s gone. And a recent quote I heard from a movie “The only way to make a woman want you if she doesn’t, is to show her what life‘s like without you.”

To the point: anytime I’ve gotten a woman deep in to her sexuality, it’s almost as if THEY THEMSELVES are surprised. Taken aback. I really do think that women don’t even know what they want. And this is why the sexes are so damn confused.
 

flowtheory

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Add: read the second review on good reads. It’s quite insightful
 

bcude

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Thank you for this, more reviews would be nice on here.

  • Women are the LESS monogamous sex.

I've heard it before, but never why. Curious about their reasons to the above quote.
  • Women get bored of their partners much sooner and desire another Man.
I suspect part of the reason is that statement?
 

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speed dawg

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So in other words, women are not logical and are at the mercy of their emotions. Shocker.

I take issue with who is the most monogamous. That is women, period. They seek that security. Men do not. If you do, then that is the first signal that you are weak, need to unplug from the matrix, and begin your journey to true masculinity.
 

bcude

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So in other words, women are not logical and are at the mercy of their emotions. Shocker.

I take issue with who is the most monogamous. That is women, period. They seek that security. Men do not. If you do, then that is the first signal that you are weak, need to unplug from the matrix, and begin your journey to true masculinity.
Don't be so sure on that.
The world consists of mostly beta males (some say 80%). What's one of the main reasons a man wants a relationship in the first place, especially a man who's not naturally attractive to women, aka the 'beta male'? Access to regular sex (which leads to procreation).
Add to the fact that monogomy (marriage) isn't a natural thing, it was invented by kings and sanctioned by the church to achieve stability in society or something along those lines. Back in the day the woman got her security from the whole community (tribe) that took care of her and her offspring, whereas now that's replaced with a man who's supposed to play all those roles a whole community did back in the day. Lover, partner, confidant, role model, father etc.
If you look at those facts you can argue that men (80%) need monogomy far more to receive any sex at all, whereas women still has the community (daddy government) for security.
What's more dangerous to society. Unhappy men or unhappy women? Sexually frustrated, unhappy men naturally lead to war and destabilisation of society. If we go back to pre alimony, then women suddenly would need men on a differerent level again.
If you want to spread your genes as a man, it's quite normal and healthy to want to have a stable environment for those kids since men want order and stability, so you enter a relationship for that purpose. I don't see any weakness in that, so it depends on the reasons. If you're a serial monogomist just because you can't be alone, then that's obviously a problem and you're in a relationship for the wrong reasons and that would be considered weak.

Every healthy woman would still prefer to have a family to help through pregnancy and raise their offspring together but it's not like she really needs it anymore, where the majority of men have no other options.
 

Who Dares Win

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Amazing news to know that most women are available sooner or later despite being couple in that moment and that it doesnt take any investment to have a free ride.

For a man unwilling to commit and conform to social rules this is a blessing...I can skip the wine&dine and the mall trip on the weekend and still get laid as long as I keep myself in shape and attractive.

God bless femminism and most of all bless the betas that keep it going.
 

In2theGame

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So in other words, women are not logical and are at the mercy of their emotions. Shocker.

I take issue with who is the most monogamous. That is women, period. They seek that security. Men do not. If you do, then that is the first signal that you are weak, need to unplug from the matrix, and begin your journey to true masculinity.
From what I got from the book, Women naturally want multiple sex partners and monogamy was programmed into them to control their wild sexuality. I guess also known as social conditioning. There was one section where Wives said they wanted their husbands to do chores around the house and help with the kids, etc. however this did absolutely zero for increasing their sexual arousal.

it makes sense that they want both the beta male and alpha male for different things.
 

In2theGame

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I meant to post this in the "Don Juan Discussion" section. Can a mod move this thread over to that section?

Would be greatly appreciated.
 

Baibars

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From what I got from the book, Women naturally want multiple sex partners and monogamy was programmed into them to control their wild sexuality. I guess also known as social conditioning. There was one section where Wives said they wanted their husbands to do chores around the house and help with the kids, etc. however this did absolutely zero for increasing their sexual arousal.

it makes sense that they want both the beta male and alpha male for different things.
Women aren't naturally monogamist and men aren't monogamist but women are wired to stay with one quality male for a longer period of time as long as it's useful for them.
She will bang the guy with the social proof, status etc. for a long time because she is aroused to him due to her selective sexual strategy. She won't have sex with the 50 other chumps in the village if she has the best looking, high status, rich alpha guy.

Men are not wired to stay loyal to one woman doesn't matter how quality she is. She may be his main chick but he is wired to spread his seed in as many women as possible.

It seems to me that the author wants to basically tell us that women have the sex drive, want the same amount of different partners etc. as men but they are not allowed to embrace their sexuality because society suppresses their sexuality.

Sorry but that is completely BS.
 

In2theGame

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Women aren't naturally monogamist and men aren't monogamist but women are wired to stay with one quality male for a longer period of time as long as it's useful for them.
She will bang the guy with the social proof, status etc. for a long time because she is aroused to him due to her selective sexual strategy. She won't have sex with the 50 other chumps in the village if she has the best looking, high status, rich alpha guy.

Men are not wired to stay loyal to one woman doesn't matter how quality she is. She may be his main chick but he is wired to spread his seed in as many women as possible.

It seems to me that the author wants to basically tell us that women have the sex drive, want the same amount of different partners etc. as men but they are not allowed to embrace their sexuality because society suppresses their sexuality.

Sorry but that is completely BS.
Even if Women are with the highest status male, they can still desire another Man sexually.

Women are definitely the kinkier sex and you will come to understand this as you get older. As others have learned over time, Women are extremely sexual and they do fear shaming by society. I myself have heard this straight from many Women themselves.
 

Baibars

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Even if Women are with the highest status male, they can still desire another Man sexually.

Women are definitely the kinkier sex and you will come to understand this as you get older. As others have learned over time, Women are extremely sexual and they do fear shaming by society. I myself have heard this straight from many Women themselves.
Yeah they can desire another man because he has other qualities but not just because he has a penis or looks average.

I'm not saying that women aren't sexual i'm saying that womens sexuality is only activated by the right man. Our sex drive is always active for almost any woman.
Women fear shaming by society because they are dependent on society but they really can do everything they want nowadays. This concept that womens sexuality is suppressed by us evil males was hammered in our heads since childhood. That was 70 years ago maybe but in the era of OnlyFans and porn.
Men will always shame women for being openly sexual and slvtty because this is our nature.

I have heard many things from women and i found out that most things they tell you isn't the objective truth.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yeah they can desire another man because he has other qualities but not just because he has a penis or looks average.

I'm not saying that women aren't sexual i'm saying that womens sexuality is only activated by the right man. Our sex drive is always active for almost any woman.
Women fear shaming by society because they are dependent on society but they really can do everything they want nowadays. This concept that womens sexuality is suppressed by us evil males was hammered in our heads since childhood. That was 70 years ago maybe but in the era of OnlyFans and porn.
Men will always shame women for being openly sexual and slvtty because this is our nature.

I have heard many things from women and i found out that most things they tell you isn't the objective truth.
Dressing slvtty had nothing to do with wanting to fvck. Its about grabbing attention and feeling sexy.
 

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BadBoy89

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I take issue with who is the most monogamous. That is women, period. They seek that security. Men do not.

This is completely wrong.


Women seek security when their AGE requires them to seek security.

You don’t see a young, fertile 19 year old seeking security. It’s only when women hit their late 20s and 30s they seek something more stable and secure. Why? Have they suddenly seen the light that the beta man was the love of their life and unconditionally aroused them? No. At this age they are faced with mortality for the first time and their looks are deteriorating. They need commitment (or whatever use) from a man before its too late.

Given the opportunity, women will sleep with the alpha man EVERYTIME. Security and commitment and marriage has NOTHING to do with a woman’s arousal.
 

samspade

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Maybe that's all true, and it's prudent to understand female sexuality. But what these books, blogs, etc. never take into consideration is there's a lot more to life than sex, and a lot of variables that go into it actually happening.

I could write a book on what goes on in the male sexual mind and it might be an "eye opener" and shock a lot of women, but it doesn't add up to much in real life.
 

flowtheory

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Maybe that's all true, and it's prudent to understand female sexuality. But what these books, blogs, etc. never take into consideration is there's a lot more to life than sex, and a lot of variables that go into it actually happening.

I could write a book on what goes on in the male sexual mind and it might be an "eye opener" and shock a lot of women, but it doesn't add up to much in real life.
This is true. I think sometimes we as men want to boil things down to a simple formulation as a way to gain some semblance of control or understanding on something which cannot be fully comprehended as a method to protect ourselves. So the best way seems to be to equip oneself with as much knowledge as humanly possible.
 
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