Just dumped my gf of over a year, while we been together ive got fatter, lost my job and just generally got far too comfortable....she is heartbroken and im pretty upset about it, but I feel i need to get back in gym and go to uni which I couldn't do with her. Im ina lot of pain right now but I guess i deserve it, how do i stop these urges of getting back in contact with her?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Just dumped my gf...how do i stop myself from going back?
- Thread starter Phoenixx
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
DonJuan_DeRosco
Don Juan
Why exactly couldn't you do that when you were with her?
Oh and, NO CONTACT!
Oh and, NO CONTACT!
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
European-DJ
Master Don Juan
No contact for 60 days helped me 
Look in the Tips forum.
Look in the Tips forum.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
No contact is the only way.
You said your going to college? Banging a bunch of hot college chicks also helps. lol
You said your going to college? Banging a bunch of hot college chicks also helps. lol
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
- 186
- Age
- 47
You can't stop them, but you CAN stop yourself from acting on them.Phoenixx said:
How to do that...if you pick up a hot pan and your hand starts burning, do you get on a forum and post, "Hey guys, I picked up this hot thing and my hand is burning...how do I set it down and not pick it up again??"
No, you put the damn pan down and don't pick it up again.
This is something you have to just do. The forum can't give you will-power. Finding something to do so you're not bored to death all the time can help.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 547
You let yourself go and she noticed it. You practically became undesirable and the complete opposite of a challenge. You undid the reasons that attracted her to you in the first place.Phoenixx said:
It's not all lost though. A girl, is just a girl. Do this for yourself and make yourself a promise to respect yourself and body beyond any female and you will succeed.
Also, reading this thread entirely will help out you massively:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056&highlight=contact+challenge
i would of loved to spend teh rest of my life with her but I just get too comfortable when im in a relationship I guess, She seemed to prefer me being like this and actively discouraged my gym routine which was pretty near perfect before we met. We have alot of good times together I just feel like I need this "change" in order to progress with my life.
The problem is not her it is me, if another woman came along would I be like this again? im not sure, but i guess now is not the time for a relationship. I don't really want to go out and bang lots of chicks as I feel I need to sort my future out first. Im pretty sure I could of stayed with this chick for a long time, got fat, had 2.5 kids with her and be stuck ina deadend job living at one of our parents lol but I guess i just want more and to sort it out now rather than later.
No contact is hard...really hard! ive been back at gym today and it seems like hard work and even though i was used to it before my brain doesnt like the thought of hard work now, guess i just need to grind through it which is alot easier without her as a comfort zone watching episodes of smallville instead of doing what i should be doing with my life.
The problem is not her it is me, if another woman came along would I be like this again? im not sure, but i guess now is not the time for a relationship. I don't really want to go out and bang lots of chicks as I feel I need to sort my future out first. Im pretty sure I could of stayed with this chick for a long time, got fat, had 2.5 kids with her and be stuck ina deadend job living at one of our parents lol but I guess i just want more and to sort it out now rather than later.
No contact is hard...really hard! ive been back at gym today and it seems like hard work and even though i was used to it before my brain doesnt like the thought of hard work now, guess i just need to grind through it which is alot easier without her as a comfort zone watching episodes of smallville instead of doing what i should be doing with my life.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
spending time with your friends will help.
looks like you identified something you didn't want in your life and took charge to make the change. Not many people would do that, they'd stay and be unhappy because they comfortable with it.
looks like you identified something you didn't want in your life and took charge to make the change. Not many people would do that, they'd stay and be unhappy because they comfortable with it.