Just dumped my gf of over a year, while we been together ive got fatter, lost my job and just generally got far too comfortable....she is heartbroken and im pretty upset about it, but I feel i need to get back in gym and go to uni which I couldn't do with her. Im ina lot of pain right now but I guess i deserve it, how do i stop these urges of getting back in contact with her?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Just dumped my gf...how do i stop myself from going back?
- Thread starter Phoenixx
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
DonJuan_DeRosco
Don Juan
Why exactly couldn't you do that when you were with her?
Oh and, NO CONTACT!
Oh and, NO CONTACT!
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
European-DJ
Master Don Juan
No contact for 60 days helped me 
Look in the Tips forum.
Look in the Tips forum.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
No contact is the only way.
You said your going to college? Banging a bunch of hot college chicks also helps. lol
You said your going to college? Banging a bunch of hot college chicks also helps. lol
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
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- 47
You can't stop them, but you CAN stop yourself from acting on them.Phoenixx said:
How to do that...if you pick up a hot pan and your hand starts burning, do you get on a forum and post, "Hey guys, I picked up this hot thing and my hand is burning...how do I set it down and not pick it up again??"
No, you put the damn pan down and don't pick it up again.
This is something you have to just do. The forum can't give you will-power. Finding something to do so you're not bored to death all the time can help.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,906
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You let yourself go and she noticed it. You practically became undesirable and the complete opposite of a challenge. You undid the reasons that attracted her to you in the first place.Phoenixx said:
It's not all lost though. A girl, is just a girl. Do this for yourself and make yourself a promise to respect yourself and body beyond any female and you will succeed.
Also, reading this thread entirely will help out you massively:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056&highlight=contact+challenge
i would of loved to spend teh rest of my life with her but I just get too comfortable when im in a relationship I guess, She seemed to prefer me being like this and actively discouraged my gym routine which was pretty near perfect before we met. We have alot of good times together I just feel like I need this "change" in order to progress with my life.
The problem is not her it is me, if another woman came along would I be like this again? im not sure, but i guess now is not the time for a relationship. I don't really want to go out and bang lots of chicks as I feel I need to sort my future out first. Im pretty sure I could of stayed with this chick for a long time, got fat, had 2.5 kids with her and be stuck ina deadend job living at one of our parents lol but I guess i just want more and to sort it out now rather than later.
No contact is hard...really hard! ive been back at gym today and it seems like hard work and even though i was used to it before my brain doesnt like the thought of hard work now, guess i just need to grind through it which is alot easier without her as a comfort zone watching episodes of smallville instead of doing what i should be doing with my life.
The problem is not her it is me, if another woman came along would I be like this again? im not sure, but i guess now is not the time for a relationship. I don't really want to go out and bang lots of chicks as I feel I need to sort my future out first. Im pretty sure I could of stayed with this chick for a long time, got fat, had 2.5 kids with her and be stuck ina deadend job living at one of our parents lol but I guess i just want more and to sort it out now rather than later.
No contact is hard...really hard! ive been back at gym today and it seems like hard work and even though i was used to it before my brain doesnt like the thought of hard work now, guess i just need to grind through it which is alot easier without her as a comfort zone watching episodes of smallville instead of doing what i should be doing with my life.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
spending time with your friends will help.
looks like you identified something you didn't want in your life and took charge to make the change. Not many people would do that, they'd stay and be unhappy because they comfortable with it.
looks like you identified something you didn't want in your life and took charge to make the change. Not many people would do that, they'd stay and be unhappy because they comfortable with it.