Just did approach in library....got a half 'rejection'.

[Guitar_Whizz]

Hey guys, I'm in my local library at the moment using the computers. Earlier on I was reading some books at the same table as a HB who was studying, so I was thinking of how to approach.

The place was deadly quite, and it would've been awkward to speak, so I asked her for a pen and wrote a short note saying:-

'Hi, I know this could be a bit embarrasing, but I think you're kinda cute and I'd like to talk to you!'

(I then gave her 3 'options' to choose):-

1. Sure, I'd love to
2. No, I'm busy
3. Go & step under a bus!

I then wrote 'P.S. I promise it'll be fun'.

I handed her back the pen with the note, and I saw her smile and write on the back. Shortly she passed me the note back and her message was:-

'Normally I would, but I've got to study for a huge exam for tomorrow (hence the books) and have limited time to revise.....sorry, seriously nothing personal'

*************************

I was totally unphazed by this, and I continued reading. I admit, you could call this a bit 'afc' by writing a note, BUT it was DEADLY quiet in here trust me!!!

But I'll keep on trying....one thing's for sure, my fear has gone down considerably.

I'm confused as to whether it was a rejection or not though. I considered saying 'ok, sure call me when you're not so busy', but somehow it didn't feel right.

Any thoughts? How do you go about approaching a girl in a really quiet scenarios like this?

 

[FlyGuy]

AFC, not AFC... who cares?

Normally I would say writing notes is a bad approach, but as with most pickup techinques its usually more about HOW you do it rather than what you're doing. Adding in the touch of humor was a good call - humor will help more than almost anything (besides confidence).

But the bottom line here is that this wasn't a half rejection, it was a full blown rejection - although she was classy enough not to be a biotch about it.

Anything other than "yes" or a counter offer/phone number/etc. is a rejection. Take it in stride.

I don't find libraries to be great places for picking up chicks. Most of the time you'll find its a similar situation to what you described - a cute chick with her nose burried in a book. You have to be extra clever/funny/etc. to make it work because libraries are not set up for social interaction. Talking to a girl, even if she isn't annoyed, will bother everyone around you.

So my advice is to find better places for approaching women.

 

[smooth666]

I do not write messages apart from SMS but if you give her options,they should be more in your favour:

2. No, I'm busy, but my phone number is________

 

[Beethoven]

I like smooth's suggestion, but also I think your final line of 'I promise it'll be fun' weakened your position.

Promising it'll be fun means that now you've set it up so that you 'owe' her, and makes out that you have to 'earn' her attention. This is the opposite position from the philosophy of 'YOU are the prize'.

--> Beethoven

 

[MidwestFreek]

good call beethoven...never suck up to a girl by promising itll be fun...its like saying..if you give me your number ill give you a cookie...

 

[Dictatorsaurus]

I was in a very similar situation long time ago. The girl seemed very shy and nervous when i talked to her (Maybe she liked me after all). She had to study so we never talked after that. Now you know that you have established your presence there. Next time you see her say hello and ask how her exam went.

 

[Dee-Zy]

you know what would of been AFC?

NOT SAYING ANYTHING because it was 'dead' quiet.



sure, there could of been better things you could of done.

Personnally, I think the whole multiple choice thing was bad, but heh. Who cares? At least you did SOMETHING!

I would of just wrote, 'hi!' on the paper. Look at her when she reads it and when she looks back, smile and continue to do what you are doing. When she's packing her things up, that's when you ask for her name ect.

but in your case, you should of wrote back 'Oh, well, Good Luck! I'll let you study now, we'll talk later' or 'I understand, give me your number, so we can talk later'.

stay up!



GHOST

 

[FlyGuy]

I would of just wrote, 'hi!' on the paper. Look at her when she reads it and when she looks back, smile and continue to do what you are doing. When she's packing her things up, that's when you ask for her name ect.

Word! That could definitely work!

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Thanks ever so much for your replies, this site is great!

I think you're mostly right in that I could've said 'ok, let's talk later when you're not so busy, what's your number?'.

We all live and learn, eh! Next time I try this I'll post results.

(Btw, I got the idea for the note from Wayne Ross, but slightly modified to suit the library).

 

[Dirtheart]

Respect for giving it a try. I wouldn't take it personally because afterall she didn't know you and I think she'd have to be VERY spontaneous to agree to go out with you without speaking to you for a while first, or even getting a proper look at you. Keep at it.

 

[white_hype]

try this, instead of writing that afc note (at least you approched... kinda) write something playful like:

"DORK!"

then when she looks up flash her a big sh1t eatting grin. she will most likely laugh and think who does this guy think he is. THen wait like 3 mins (she will be thinking about you/most likely nervous) and write her another note (if she hasn't written you one back) saying "Hey! I'm going to take a short break from studying, come join me outside" and go

your note is cheesy/middle school, it also makes everything based on your looks

 

[Belgium_Freak]

Originally posted by white_hype
try this, instead of writing that afc note (at least you approched... kinda) write something playful like:

"DORK!"

then when she looks up flash her a big sh1t eatting grin. she will most likely laugh and think who does this guy think he is. THen wait like 3 mins (she will be thinking about you/most likely nervous) and write her another note (if she hasn't written you one back) saying "Hey! I'm going to take a short break from studying, come join me outside" and go

your note is cheesy/middle school, it also makes everything based on your looks

haha you got your thing together man, i can already see it working ... good stuff

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Originally posted by white_hype
try this, instead of writing that afc note (at least you approched... kinda) write something playful like:

"DORK!"

then when she looks up flash her a big sh1t eatting grin. she will most likely laugh and think who does this guy think he is. THen wait like 3 mins (she will be thinking about you/most likely nervous) and write her another note (if she hasn't written you one back) saying "Hey! I'm going to take a short break from studying, come join me outside" and go

your note is cheesy/middle school, it also makes everything based on your looks

I think writing 'dork' would just come across as weird or immature, but I'm open to suggestions to trying new things. I definitely need to modify a few areas in order to succeed next time.

 

[Dictatorsaurus]

Guitar_Whizz,

You did good. Most guys wouldn't have attempted what you did. Shows alot of courage.

No matter what you had written on your note, her response would have been exactly the same. Its the thought that counts.
You should read her note again. She told you that she would have joined you but she couldn't because of her exam. Don't over analyze and just say next time you see her.