PoppedCollars
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Read the follow up thread.
Last edited:
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Just broke up with my LTR
- Thread starter PoppedCollars
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
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Are you a fool? Why do you want to get back with this emotionally unstable drama queen? You're just asking for abuse. She's obviously proven to be unfit as LTR material. So drop her.Originally posted by PoppedCollars
Short story short, girl breaks up with her BF of 3 years to be with me, 3 months pass by and everything is great, not one single problem. Until tonight.
Some of her friends (males) are in town and she invites them out to the bar with us. I keep my cool, talk to other friends at the bar and give her as much space as I can. We're kissing and stuff at the bar, having a great time. No real threats, she hooked up with one of the guys and he still is in love with her. I handle him well and we have no problems.
Then she drops the drama bomb.
She asks me "Why are you such an *******" and we start arguing over what I did that made me an *******. She's all like "well if you're going to be like that then leave.' I told her when she got whatever was up her ass out to come talk to me.
I come back, and ask her to come talk to me. She says "no, not if you're going to be an ass" I reply with "Ok, you have 5 seconds to come talk to me outside or this is goodbye" she is all like "see yah" and I walk out. She grabs my arm and follows me outside.
We start talking about what I did to upset her, and it leads to the fact that she didn't think she was ready for a relationship. I say that's fine and start to walk off. She once again latches onto my arm and keeps me there. We talk in circles about that fact for a while and finally I'm like "Either you want to be in a relationship with me, or you don't. Yes or no" She trips into this big speil about how I'm her best friend and how she doesn't want a relationship to ruin that and I'm just like "Well, I've got alot of friends. No more dinner sex etc" We continue on for about 15 minutes in circles again and finally I'm like. "Ok, you're scared to be in a relationship, I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Goodbye" This time I just walk off and she heads back into the bar.
I really care about this girl, but this **** is crazy. I get the feeling she planned the drama bomb to be able to hook up with the other guy over Christmas break and what not.
I'd like to get this back together, how should I play this?
Forgot one more thing. You know when she said you were her best friend and didn't want the relationship to ruin that?
Let me translate for you:
"I have lost interest in you romantically. I'm interested in someone else. Probably one of the guys I brought along to the bar."
Coincidence this happened at the bar? Probably not.
By the way, whenever a girl you're interested in, or dating uses the F word, run. And by that I don't mean ****.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
dude, I'd just like to say, YOU HANDLED THIS ****IN WELL. I like how you used the goodbye tactic and I got enough friends.
just let her go and move on man. It's always hard especially after a LTR, but seriously, you, I, and everyone on sosuave knows she's definitely not suitable LTR material. Maybe f-buddy matierla, but would you like her to pull some sh1t like that when you have kids and a job? HELL NO!!! F that attitude man. You deserve better and she just missed out big time.
good going again. that was great stuff.
just let her go and move on man. It's always hard especially after a LTR, but seriously, you, I, and everyone on sosuave knows she's definitely not suitable LTR material. Maybe f-buddy matierla, but would you like her to pull some sh1t like that when you have kids and a job? HELL NO!!! F that attitude man. You deserve better and she just missed out big time.
good going again. that was great stuff.
FlawlessBadBoy
Don Juan
yah, that was a good "show" you put on, but it's obvious you don't think the way you did at the bar all the time. This girl is drama. Drama and DJ's don't mix well. Ditch that ***** because you will end up hurtin if you don't.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
You can expect games like this and many more when you are the rebound guy. Live and learn.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
You have played your hand. Now you will need to stand on your decision. As much as you are thinking, analysing and missing her. Do not go running back to her. The BEST you can do IF you want her back "is" to pull back.
She now needs time to miss you, the vacuum you create will increase her chances of running back to you. She may have thought you were bluffing so left back to the bar. The ball will only be back in your court when SHE returns to you and only then can you state your terms and conditions if you want her back into your life.
Now start dating other girls, she will either come back to you or she won't. This is the painful risk you will have to take.
Kaine
She now needs time to miss you, the vacuum you create will increase her chances of running back to you. She may have thought you were bluffing so left back to the bar. The ball will only be back in your court when SHE returns to you and only then can you state your terms and conditions if you want her back into your life.
Now start dating other girls, she will either come back to you or she won't. This is the painful risk you will have to take.
Kaine
PoppedCollars
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Alright update guys, she just called me. Here's a rundown
I kept trying to get out of her why she felt like she rushed into things too quickly, she kept saying "I'm just scared to be in a relationship" blah blah. I call her on her bull**** and ask what part of the past couple months has not been the best time of her life. She goes back to the thing that she's scared that our friendship would be over and that she 'knew' this was going to happen. I guess that's true because she planned it. I then tell her that once she sobers up and gets tired of messing around with random guys/being single and comes back to me that I won't be here. She's like "See yah" and I tell her to have a nice life. I tell her that either she can try to work things out now or there won't be a second time around. She says "It's never going to work out" and I tell her "Well, I'm sorry for your loss. Have a nice life"
I guess that's it. I figure I'll be getting a call in a few days with her wanting to make up, don't know how I'll handle that. I'll post a full, comphrsenive post tomorrow since I'm a little bombed right now.
I kept trying to get out of her why she felt like she rushed into things too quickly, she kept saying "I'm just scared to be in a relationship" blah blah. I call her on her bull**** and ask what part of the past couple months has not been the best time of her life. She goes back to the thing that she's scared that our friendship would be over and that she 'knew' this was going to happen. I guess that's true because she planned it. I then tell her that once she sobers up and gets tired of messing around with random guys/being single and comes back to me that I won't be here. She's like "See yah" and I tell her to have a nice life. I tell her that either she can try to work things out now or there won't be a second time around. She says "It's never going to work out" and I tell her "Well, I'm sorry for your loss. Have a nice life"
I guess that's it. I figure I'll be getting a call in a few days with her wanting to make up, don't know how I'll handle that. I'll post a full, comphrsenive post tomorrow since I'm a little bombed right now.
-HPNOTIQ-
Master Don Juan
Bro..you're handling this whole thing with pride in being a DJ and a man.
Everyone else here has said it. This chick is an attention wh*re and is using these countless tests to see how much control she has over you.
Flip the script for a second...If YOU brought along 3 of your 'homegirls' to a bar where all 4 of you had drinks...I could easily see this girl you're dating get in b*tch mode. Honestly bro..i think she got MORE pissed at you because you didn't react like a jealous AFC in that situation...you handled it well and SHE cracked. There is no reason to question a woman like these about why you were a jerk..you WEREN'T a jerk..and she just tried t get under your skin...
HER LOSS BRO.
Yea...it stings now...but don't fall into that AFC trap..
ITS A NEW YEAR..WITH NEW OPPORTUNITIES with REAL women and not Attention Wh0res like this one.
Everyone else here has said it. This chick is an attention wh*re and is using these countless tests to see how much control she has over you.
Flip the script for a second...If YOU brought along 3 of your 'homegirls' to a bar where all 4 of you had drinks...I could easily see this girl you're dating get in b*tch mode. Honestly bro..i think she got MORE pissed at you because you didn't react like a jealous AFC in that situation...you handled it well and SHE cracked. There is no reason to question a woman like these about why you were a jerk..you WEREN'T a jerk..and she just tried t get under your skin...
HER LOSS BRO.
Yea...it stings now...but don't fall into that AFC trap..
ITS A NEW YEAR..WITH NEW OPPORTUNITIES with REAL women and not Attention Wh0res like this one.
MetalFortress
Master Don Juan
What kind of freaking idiot chick calls you an a-hole because she wants to talk to you about ruining your friendship with HER? Was there any reason for calling you an a-hole other than to get you to leave so she could talk to you about not being ready? Unbelieveable, do not even think about getting back with a such a nutcase.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
Ok I see that you redited your post.
You DID make some mistakes.
You should not have called her when you got back. When you walked, you should have cut off all contact with her until she contacts you (when you and her are sober). SHE calls you to "work it out", calling her back after you told her "bye" breaks your frame of dominance, you increase her value.
When you walk, you walk. Your words must be congruent with your actions. Also you made plans to meet her "to get your stuff", you are making plans to see her already!? Unless you REALLY need your stuff and not some hidden agenda to see her and work it out again, don't! Once again for the same reason indicated above.
Kaine
You DID make some mistakes.
You should not have called her when you got back. When you walked, you should have cut off all contact with her until she contacts you (when you and her are sober). SHE calls you to "work it out", calling her back after you told her "bye" breaks your frame of dominance, you increase her value.
When you walk, you walk. Your words must be congruent with your actions. Also you made plans to meet her "to get your stuff", you are making plans to see her already!? Unless you REALLY need your stuff and not some hidden agenda to see her and work it out again, don't! Once again for the same reason indicated above.
Kaine
i agree in situations like this the only way to make it work IF IT CAN work is by ignoreing the girl for a while, much like i did and if the games seem to start up again ignore her again..
ganji games is where its at. But i think right now though you have to ask yourself is it worth the time and effort to play those games because if you do decide to play them..
it'll be a while before she comes around, and the whole ignoreing and then periodiclly coming back could play a toll on your mental.
if she's worth it though, hey go for it.. but i think everybody here agrees she's not.
oh and after an episode like that its best not to see her for a long period of time like 3 months or more.. just IMO
ganji games is where its at. But i think right now though you have to ask yourself is it worth the time and effort to play those games because if you do decide to play them..
it'll be a while before she comes around, and the whole ignoreing and then periodiclly coming back could play a toll on your mental.
if she's worth it though, hey go for it.. but i think everybody here agrees she's not.
oh and after an episode like that its best not to see her for a long period of time like 3 months or more.. just IMO