Just be yourself is solid advice

[jhonny9546]

Just Be yourself is the best advice you've ever heard. And yet, you still hear people telling you otherwise.

Let's find out why: this advice could come from two different scenarios.
The first is the involuntary one: a short, fat, bald, poor, and ugly guy who's with a beautiful, rich woman, and has a family, two kids, a house, the whole package, will tell you what worked for him: "Just Be yourself".
In this case, however, it's all on her side. In fact, imprinting makes her love this man out of 8 billion like crazy because he's like that. Period.
In this case, what you see from the outside can distort what you know, and then you'll truly convince yourself that "Just Be yourself" works, but that's not the real reason.

Let's look at the second case, the voluntary one: a short, bald man, but who keeps fit, who has a good social standing, wealth, because he works every day to achieve these things, that's the package. Because he's putting in the effort. In this case, the women attracted to him will be attracted to him because of other factors besides their innate imprinting. He's a man of value, so he'll tell you, "Just Be yourself."
But there's a difference here, and that's the key.
When you work on yourself every day, pushing yourself further and further, wanting to be the best, wanting to be a man of value, then you'll have a natural confidence, and that "Just Be yourself" is the key to not thinking directly about the game or other elements, because you are the game and you're in a state of flow.

"Just Be yourself" is the best advice you'll ever hear from those at the top (after making the distinction between voluntary and involuntary), but first you have to work on yourself, my friend.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No it's not.

Being yourself is a cop out to people who don't want to work on becoming the optimal version of yourself.

Essentially it's the excuse people use when they are too lazy to work on their flaws or too ego driven to want to see them and take a realistically hard view in the mirror.

 

[Marc_zeus]

"just be yourself" is a women's tool to weed out guys they deem to be weak, undesirable dna. In their's mind if you work on yourself, if you hit a gym, learn game, how to be social etc. is you masking your weak dna. They dont want to be "tricked" into having sex with beta male who "masked" himself into alpha. Thats why you will rarely heard advice "just be yourself" from men, but often from women. With that advice they are helping other women not to be tricked by you, because they find you not worthy for procreation.
So my advice is dont be yourself, work every day to become better version of yourself and fake your ass off till you make it.
P S. Never take advice from women about women, dont listen to them just observe what make their Pu..y wet.

 

[plumber]

you have the right idea. but the translation is not working. just be confident is what you mean.... and how to do that is a huge topic. just be yourself, doesn't really mean anything. it is so vague that its not helpful.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think it’s about owning your natural strengths, weaknesses and preferences.

Self-improvement is fine, but to disregard your natural strengths (i.e. go against your talents) and try to excel in an area you aren’t cut out for is a waste of time and effort.

 

[Travel memoir21]

I agree with Mike, remember the Movie The Mask starring Jim Carrey? Whenever he wore that mask, it revealed the inner aspects of his personality and only enhanced its strength. In a way, we should take that approach, look at your talents enhance it greatly while working on your weaknesses.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think it’s about owning your natural strengths, weaknesses and preferences.

Self-improvement is fine, but to disregard your natural strengths (i.e. go against your talents) and try to excel in an area you aren’t cut out for is a waste of time and effort.

No it's not. Your goal should be to improve your weaknesses while accentuating your strengths.

For instance many guys, including myself, sucked with women growing up.

This was a major weakness. According to you, I should have just ignored this and continued to suck with women while focusing on my athletic and intellectual pursuits.

Now, I'm not saying I will ever be what natural guys who excel in this are, but I have improved 100x from where I was and that's really all you should be trying to do...maximize your potential in those areas, even if it's not at the level others will be at

 

[BaronOfHair]

Just Be yourself is the best advice you've ever heard

It's the most COMMON you hear, often with a makeover of "Be authentic". The wisdom of such counsel is more questionable than mistaking anything labeled "Red Pill" for The Gospel Truth

Most folks ARE "being themselves", and they subsequently haven't advanced much further beyond aged 6 intellectually or/and psychologically

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just Be yourself is the best advice you've ever heard. And yet, you still hear people telling you otherwise.

How do you come up with this nonsense?

Let's say that you are naturally nerdy, boring and shy. Please explain how being yourself would help you get women in that scenario?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Being yourself is great advice if your natural self is attractive.

Being yourself is horrible advice if your natural self is repulsive and creepy.

Which is why so many guys don't like the advice.

Of course, you always want to improve your natural self, but that requires being open and congruent and open to the feedback you get from the ladies.

That is pretty tough, which is why most guys hide behind game.

 

[zekko]

Being yourself is great advice if your natural self is attractive.
Being yourself is horrible advice if your natural self is repulsive and creepy.

I firmly believe that being yourself is great advice. Who else can you be? But you have to be your best self. You can't just use that as an excuse not to improve yourself. To me, "be yourself" means that you have your own natural charms, and you have to use those and lean into your own unique self to be appealing. You don't want to try to become someone else to be attractive, that sounds horrible and inauthentic. Find a style that suits you, and use it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I firmly believe that being yourself is great advice. Who else can you be? But you have to be your best self. You can't just use that as an excuse not to improve yourself. To me, "be yourself" means that you have your own natural charms, and you have to use those and lean into your own unique self to be appealing. You don't want to try to become someone else to be attractive, that sounds horrible and inauthentic. Find a style that suits you, and use it.

That's almost never what someone actually means when they say "just be yourself" tho, and that's the problem.

 

[Vanderdonck]

The person giving this advice is usually not thinking about nuance. In fact they're barely thinking. It's usually meant to imply that you matter so you don't need to change or pretend. Nice sentiment on its surface. But it doesn't address if someone has poor social skills, low confidence, is lacking in charm, etc. So it's very lazy advice.

Your brain is a miraculous machine, better than any computer or AI. And you are in control of it. So whatever you tell it, it will accept as your reality, but you have to be diligent and forthright with your psyche. "Negative" thoughts are simply the body's way of holding the brain back; it doesn't like change or challenges. So like with anything if you want to improve you have to be diligent and feed your mind in order to change who you are.

Now, I say "be true to yourself" and that is different. It doesn't mean you accept one version of yourself. It means you evaluate your desires and goals and principles and do what's best for you. Big difference.

I think the semantic argument the OP makes is not really what JBY means, in fact usually JBY is a big nothing so neither party has to think much.

 

[BaronOfHair]

No one with an ounce of sense would advise another to "Just be themselves", if the subject being discussed was

-Getting ahead in one's career

-Becoming physically and psychologically healthier (This is going to mean NOT giving in to urges to eat junk food 24/7, binge watch Breaking Bad and GOT for the billionth time, etc etc)

-Becoming a more effective salesman

-Acing an interview

They'd ask whoever they're speaking to "What outcome are you pursuing?", then encourage that person to adapt their appearance, words, and demeanor accordingly. It's mind-boggling that we continue to believe dating and mating would be any different

 

[zekko]

That's almost never what someone actually means when they say "just be yourself" tho, and that's the problem.

When someone says that, I don't think they ever mean that if you're a clinging simp, keep being a clinging simp. To me it's about bringing your natural best attributes into play.

 

[BadBoy89]

The first is the involuntary one: a short, fat, bald, poor, and ugly guy who's with a beautiful, rich woman, and has a family, two kids, a house, the whole package,

Let's look at the second case, the voluntary one: a short, bald man, but who keeps fit, who has a good social standing, wealth, because he works every day to achieve these things, that's the package.

Whats with the obsession with short, bald men?

 

[jhonny9546]

I think it's about owning your natural strengths, weaknesses, and preferences.

Self-improvement is fine, but disregarding your natural strengths (i.e., going against your talents) and trying to excel in an area you aren't cut out for is a waste of time and effort.

Being able to understand your strengths and weaknesses is a talent in itself.
Developing a life plan based on that is easier.

So how would you do it, point one?

Please explain how being yourself would help you get women in that scenario?

Being yourself will automatically filter out all the company that isn't like-minded and genuine for you.
If you become someone else, but you're improvising or acting, you might be more successful, but not genuine and better relationships. Quality > Quantity.

Feed your mind in order to change who you are.

This is one of the reasons why, when you start learning about the pill, women start falling for you, but you feel a deep pain inside because you didn't have this script before.

That said, what would you feed your brain? Self:Help?

Thanks everyone for your input.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Being yourself will automatically filter out all the company that isn't like-minded and genuine for you. If you become someone else, but you're improvising or acting, you might be more successful, but not genuine and better relationships.

Couldn't disagree more.

In my teen years and even early 20's, I was pretty shy and introverted. I forced myself to change, which made a huge difference for both my personal and professional life. I'm a very different person now. Had I taken the "just be yourself" advice, it would have literally ruined my life.

 

[jhonny9546]

Couldn't disagree more.

In my teen years and even early 20's, I was pretty shy and introverted. I forced myself to change, which made a huge difference for both my personal and professional life. I'm a very different person now. Had I taken the "just be yourself" advice, it would have literally ruined my life.

I don't think this is something connected with the behaviour, but rather your inner change, which is, being more authentic

 

[Aguirre]

Sign me up!!

How soon can I become short bald and fat and start winning with women??!

George Costanza was right all along!