Just be yourself is solid advice

[Divorced w 3]

No it's not.

Being yourself is a cop out to people who don't want to work on becoming the optimal version of yourself.

Essentially it's the excuse people use when they are too lazy to work on their flaws or too ego driven to want to see them and take a realistically hard view in the mirror.

I take it to mean do not lose your sense of who you are, your core values and your personality. By all means be your best version of yourself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I take it to mean do not lose your sense of who you are, your core values and your personality. By all means be your best version of yourself.

I mean I guess it depends what those values are. Your core values could be to leech off people and play video games and smoke weed all day while not working.

 

[TheGambino]

"just be yourself" is a women's tool to weed out guys they deem to be weak, undesirable dna. In their's mind if you work on yourself, if you hit a gym, learn game, how to be social etc. is you masking your weak dna. They dont want to be "tricked" into having sex with beta male who "masked" himself into alpha. Thats why you will rarely heard advice "just be yourself" from men, but often from women. With that advice they are helping other women not to be tricked by you, because they find you not worthy for procreation.
So my advice is dont be yourself, work every day to become better version of yourself and fake your ass off till you make it.
P S. Never take advice from women about women, dont listen to them just observe what make their Pu..y wet.

this is the best advice

 

[Cheeky_James]

‘Be your most dominant /alpha self ‘ is probably a lot more accurate w women. ‘Be the best version of yourself ‘ .

 

[BaronOfHair]

Be the best version of yourself ‘ .

That's likely to not only get a fella laid, but also stave off his getting banned off a forum he's been a long-time member of

 

[Glassguy]

We ALL have our own deficiencies when we are honest.
I think its important to always focus on self improvement yet also be accepting of who we are.......
Having said that, most men that suck with women do neither. They lack confidence as they are not comfortable with themselves but are also too lazy to work on those deficiencies to improve their confidence.
Not everyone is born with the gift of gab, 6' +, athletic, charismatic, outgoing, etc. I get it. But we also know what we lack that can be improved. The answer lies in whether or not you have the self drive to be striving to be the best version of yourself.
Ive always been comfortable with who I am. Ive never tried to be someone Im not. That doesn't mean that I haven't picked up skills or positive traits from other people that I looked up to.....and developed a version of those things to fit me.
You can never have enough positive tools in your arsenal in life.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

"Just be yourself" and "Just be confident" while well meaning aren't the greatest advice in many cases. Alternatives are "Know yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and seek self improvement," "Be honest with yourself about what you want and what you are willing to do to get it," "Set realistic achievable goals and set new ones when you achieve the ones previously set."

The first allows you to accept reality and realize that you can change for the better. The next makes you come out and say to yourself what it is YOU really want. Not what someone else said you needed or should want and not out of envy for what someone else has. The last is a simple yet potent method of building confidence. You have to start somewhere. You can't just "Be a champion" or "Be the best" because you said so.

Not directed at anyone who said "Just be yourself" or "Just be confident." I'm not wanting to put anyone down. This is just my perspective on how to expand on these bits of advice I used to receive but never understood until I failed enough to find better answers to the questions I was asking.

Yes, of course you should be yourself, as there's no one else you can be. It is also good to be confident. What often is missing from these well intended words is what we really mean when we are saying them. It's the what, but the how is missing. Sadly, many people just do not know how. The student isn't always going to be saying "I don't get it!" or "What do you mean?!" or admitting their frustrations when they later try to justify their failures. Ie... "I was being myself just like you said and I *always* get turned down." or "I try to be confident and I still never succeed."