Divorced w 3
Master Don Juan
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I take it to mean do not lose your sense of who you are, your core values and your personality. By all means be your best version of yourself.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Just be yourself is solid advice
- Thread starter jhonny9546
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
BackInTheGame78
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I mean I guess it depends what those values are. Your core values could be to leech off people and play video games and smoke weed all day while not working.
TheGambino
Master Don Juan
this is the best advice
Cheeky_James
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‘Be your most dominant /alpha self ‘ is probably a lot more accurate w women. ‘Be the best version of yourself ‘ .
BaronOfHair
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That's likely to not only get a fella laid, but also stave off his getting banned off a forum he's been a long-time member of
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Glassguy
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We ALL have our own deficiencies when we are honest.
I think its important to always focus on self improvement yet also be accepting of who we are.......
Having said that, most men that suck with women do neither. They lack confidence as they are not comfortable with themselves but are also too lazy to work on those deficiencies to improve their confidence.
Not everyone is born with the gift of gab, 6' +, athletic, charismatic, outgoing, etc. I get it. But we also know what we lack that can be improved. The answer lies in whether or not you have the self drive to be striving to be the best version of yourself.
Ive always been comfortable with who I am. Ive never tried to be someone Im not. That doesn't mean that I haven't picked up skills or positive traits from other people that I looked up to.....and developed a version of those things to fit me.
You can never have enough positive tools in your arsenal in life.
I think its important to always focus on self improvement yet also be accepting of who we are.......
Having said that, most men that suck with women do neither. They lack confidence as they are not comfortable with themselves but are also too lazy to work on those deficiencies to improve their confidence.
Not everyone is born with the gift of gab, 6' +, athletic, charismatic, outgoing, etc. I get it. But we also know what we lack that can be improved. The answer lies in whether or not you have the self drive to be striving to be the best version of yourself.
Ive always been comfortable with who I am. Ive never tried to be someone Im not. That doesn't mean that I haven't picked up skills or positive traits from other people that I looked up to.....and developed a version of those things to fit me.
You can never have enough positive tools in your arsenal in life.
RoadKing_Rabbit
Senior Don Juan
"Just be yourself" and "Just be confident" while well meaning aren't the greatest advice in many cases. Alternatives are "Know yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and seek self improvement," "Be honest with yourself about what you want and what you are willing to do to get it," "Set realistic achievable goals and set new ones when you achieve the ones previously set."
The first allows you to accept reality and realize that you can change for the better. The next makes you come out and say to yourself what it is YOU really want. Not what someone else said you needed or should want and not out of envy for what someone else has. The last is a simple yet potent method of building confidence. You have to start somewhere. You can't just "Be a champion" or "Be the best" because you said so.
Not directed at anyone who said "Just be yourself" or "Just be confident." I'm not wanting to put anyone down. This is just my perspective on how to expand on these bits of advice I used to receive but never understood until I failed enough to find better answers to the questions I was asking.
Yes, of course you should be yourself, as there's no one else you can be. It is also good to be confident. What often is missing from these well intended words is what we really mean when we are saying them. It's the what, but the how is missing. Sadly, many people just do not know how. The student isn't always going to be saying "I don't get it!" or "What do you mean?!" or admitting their frustrations when they later try to justify their failures. Ie... "I was being myself just like you said and I *always* get turned down." or "I try to be confident and I still never succeed."
The first allows you to accept reality and realize that you can change for the better. The next makes you come out and say to yourself what it is YOU really want. Not what someone else said you needed or should want and not out of envy for what someone else has. The last is a simple yet potent method of building confidence. You have to start somewhere. You can't just "Be a champion" or "Be the best" because you said so.
Not directed at anyone who said "Just be yourself" or "Just be confident." I'm not wanting to put anyone down. This is just my perspective on how to expand on these bits of advice I used to receive but never understood until I failed enough to find better answers to the questions I was asking.
Yes, of course you should be yourself, as there's no one else you can be. It is also good to be confident. What often is missing from these well intended words is what we really mean when we are saying them. It's the what, but the how is missing. Sadly, many people just do not know how. The student isn't always going to be saying "I don't get it!" or "What do you mean?!" or admitting their frustrations when they later try to justify their failures. Ie... "I was being myself just like you said and I *always* get turned down." or "I try to be confident and I still never succeed."