"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Junior Prom... wondering how I did? (LONG POST)

SemperFi719

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Alright so Junior Prom was yesterday.
Little Background info on my date and I:
She's a junior and I am a senior. Her and I have had feelings for each other but because of her schedule and mine always conflicting we've never been able to go out on an official date (I know it sux). Anyway I've always remained aloof and shyt and using push/pull. Lately she's been SMS'ing me for the dumbest reasons just so she could talk to me (good sign?) and when I went to her lunch period she told me to sit by her in the same chair and even bought me some chips and told me "for you". I'll joke around with her and she'll hit me playfully, laughs at my jokes, etc etc. All in all I can detect some genuine interest from this girl.

So anyway, last week she told me that she was dateless to Junior Prom because the friend that she was going with couldn't go. (Her friend was a close friend of hers since they were little. He goes to another school and they had planned on going to her Junior prom months before I came into the picture.) Anyway, so I said yes and got my clothes for prom and everything wooptie woop. Anyway, so yesterday evening her mom picks me up in front of my house and drops us off where our friends are at with their ride. In that time frame I didn't tell her "you look nice... you look pretty blah blah" Im a douche bag, I just didnt slip it in. So anyway we get to the place of the prom and we're there im just chillin not sticking to her like crazy glue but just floating around basically. We go in for ****tail hour and we're walking around saying hi to friends and stuff you know the rundown. We take some pics outside and all that. As ****tail hour progresses she grabs hold of my hand and we walked hand in hand for a lil. While we sat she seemed kinda out of it. I knew its cause she had told me earlier that she was tired from being awake till 3 the night before studying for an AP exam that same day. Eventually we get to the dancefloor and when they all start dancing her and I go to the dance floor and we dance a raggae. Im on her back and shes doing her thing in front. Shes doing the motions and doesnt seem into it. This changed though when later on as i got my hands around her waist she interlocks her fingers with mine. I loosened my grip up a lil and she just tightened hers around my thumb and index. While sitting at the table im being ****y funny and stuff but I did notice that she seemed out of it. She would occasionally rest her hand on my thigh and hit me playfully when I would joke around but besides that she was looking at the dancefloor a lot and just playing with her hair. We danced a fair bit in the whole night but I just didnt feel good vibes. At the end they had the slow dances and we just had her head rested on my shoulder cause she was tired. The night was over after that.

Overall I dont know what to say about the night. I tried to keep in mind that girls aren't always in the mood to get dj'd. I had a fair amount of kino last night and she didn't resist the kino either. She would lean into me a lot and all that good stuff. But do you guys think that she just wasn't in the mood to take it anywhere more than that? Sorry for the long post heh, just wanted to know if you guys see anything there. I didn't let the whole not telling her shes pretty earlier enough thing phase me because it was a **** up on my part but its like when I didnt do it initially, guys were doing it left and right and I didnt wanna do it right after someone else did it cause then I felt it would come off fake. I did tell her by first complementing her hair and that she looked really nice and she just told me "thaaaanks" in a monotonous voice looking away. It was early in the night and I dont think that I could have been messed up by that little incident. (am i right?) Thanks ahead of time guys.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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JSH

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Now unlike most people, i bothered to read the whole of that.

My first question, who the **** cares. Its like a ooh, i went to the cinema with this girl and my friends yesterday, she touched me, what do i do question.

So you were her backup date = yes.

So she and you definately have feelings for each other even though you havenot done anything with her or spent much time talking to her = yes.

So you are not sure if she actually has feelings for you = yes

So you did not do anything = yes.

So why are you surprised.

I would try and offer some useful advice but i can't really think of anything that is too helpfull.

personally you not telling her she looks pretty she looks fine, does not = you being a douchebag. It does not matter as you are not her big crush and she knows you are interested in her as you acted as her date. AND everyone knows its just form anyway so . . . it was not really a **** up. + i dont know the rundown as im english but . . .

Again i mean - official date? what the ****, american dating is quite screwed up, its a date if you and her do something with the aim of getting to know each other more intimately.

djd- IMO no such thing, its a state of your mind that should permanently be on about improvement. Anyway playing with hair tends to be a flirty sign unless shhe is real immature and looking away the whole time. From what you have said i have one real question. WHY DID YOU NOT GO FOR THE KISS. It seems like quite a few signs were there.
 

undesputable

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i think when a girl is dressed to impress such as in a prom night, she deserves a compliment or two, also if you kept the ****y and funny attitude it implies a message of like "ok you look hot big deal". bc is not like any other time when she just threw something on and was like "ok this should do it", on a night like a prom she went farther she spent a lot of time picking her dress and getting ready...is OK to be sweet or give her a little gift from time to time, just dont overdo it of course. i think you should have gone easier on the indifference, maybe a little harder on the ****y and funny, and gotten more physical bc she was giving you a lot of cues.
 

SemperFi719

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Well, talked to her on AIM a few minutes ago and she gave me the LJBF. I said sure why not because honestly I don't care. Im goin to the Marines in a few months and her and I will be busy. I guess she was more of a practice for me that trying to get into anything serious. Its funny though because last winter I was in a relationship which I was acting too interested and thats what did it. This time I was too aloof and thats what did it. I know it is. I know what I did wrong and its all good, I got a way to go until I can get my game down properly. Well... in the words of many who have come... who are here... and who will come... NEXT!
 

JSH

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Lol, next tends to leave you in control, you should next your feelings for her, but she basically nexted you. Anyway i was a bit dubious about the strength of her feelings for you and i think it was slightly mutual, it was more just a date for form, wasnt it.

i dont know if you were too aloof, i disagree with undespetable but then i dont know a lot about prom nights, we have big posh parties but not proms as such. I agree with more physical, but thatss all she really needs to know about your interest. Come on, the only time you really need to complement her, is once in front of her friends, really nicely, so she does not feel inferior to them. A little gift from time to time, wtf, maybe one gift when you pick her up but really . . . prom night seems designed to make you all have to be AFC for a night.

Semper Fidelis - Always faithful - lol, crazy name
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SemperFi719

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LOL, Yeah I guess i'm nexting my feelings for her. Ive replayed the night over in my head and the past few weeks so that I could learn from my mistakes. Im not harboring over it im just looking over what I did with this one and where I dropped the ball so to speak. Its all good though, every girl is just practice for the next right? As far as my screenname, story behind that one is that i'm a future United States Marine (hence the SemperFi) and my ship-out date for basic training is July 19th (hence the 719). Thanks for the replies though... and hey, I had a good time at the prom and thats what matters. I did my thing, but it didnt turn out well. Looking forward to senior prom in 2 weeks. Im gonna have a blast... oh yes oh yes!
 

JSH

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Semper Fidelis used to be my school moto, aptly it was only mixed up to yr3, so half way through prep school. Then it was all girls. I dont think its one that i always want to stick to. :D
 
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